*Ship it out west to ->A No.1<- as I 'probley could figger it out better
than the "Starbuck" program I'm wrastl'e 'n with at the moment!
-=A=-
brrice wrote:
>
> > >Subject: Important recall
> > >Dear Consumers:
> > >>
> > >It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN
> > EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have
> > one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The
> > southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
> > >It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee
> > superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of
> > >>Hazzard screen saver.
> > >>
> > >Also note:
> > >The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
> > >My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
> > >Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
> > >Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
> > >Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
> > >Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
> > >Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops
> up.
> > >>
> > >CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SUTHERN EDITION:
> > >WOK: ats aw-right
> > >Cancel: stopdat
> > >Reset: try er agin
> > >Yes: yep
> > >No: noop
> > >Find: hunt fer it
> > >Go to: over yonder
> > >Aback: back yonder
> > >Help: hep me out here
> > >Stop: kwitit
> > >Start: crank er up
> > >Settings: sittins
> > >Programs: stuff at duz stuff
> > >Documents: stuff ah done did
> > >>
> > >Also note that SUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or
> > punctuation marks.
> > >>
> > >Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:
> > >>tiperiter: A word processing program
> > >>colerin book: a graphics program
> > >>cyferin mersheen: calculator
> > >outhouse paper: notepad
> > >>jupe-box: CD Player
> > >intranet: Microsoft Explorer 4.0
> > >>pichers: A graphics viewer
> > >airs: MS accounting software
> > >>irs2: MS accounting software with hidden files
> > >tax records: usually an empty file
> > >coon dog: American kennel club records
> > >>
> > >You'll recognize WINDERS 98 SUTHERN EDITION as it comes pre-loaded with
> > certain "Favorites" for browsing the Worldwide Web.
> > >>Fishin': Bass Anglers Sportsman Society
> > >>NRA: National Rifle Association
> > >Shotgun: Remington Arms home page
> > >>Riffel: Winchester home page
> > >>Pistul: Smith & Wesson home page
> > >>Truck: Ford & Chevy dealers by zip code
> > >>House: Mobile home repair services & movers by zip code
> > >>Cuzzins: Complete database of southern residents (extremely long
> > >>download time)
> > >>Bud: List of Budweiser distributors by zip code
> > >>Rasin: NASCAR racing schedule with TV stations that carry the
> > >>race
> > >>Car 'n truck parts: Junk yards by zip code
> > >>Doc: veterinarians by zip code
> > >>
> > >>We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy
> > >>of the SUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a
> > >replacement
> > >>version.
> > >>
> > >>I hope this helps all y'all!
> > >>
> > >>Billy Bob Gates
> > >>Head Honcho
> > >
> > >
>
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> "Eat the hay & spit out the sticks! - A#1's mule" RTKB&G4JC!
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