See if you can find yourself on this list. Mike
>30 Ways to Tell You've Been Taken Over by Technology > >1. Your stationery lists a fax number, e-mail >addresses for two online services, and your Internet >address, which spreads across the breadth of the >letterhead and continues to the back. > >2. You have never sat through an entire movie without >having at least one device on your body beep or buzz. > >3. You need to fill out a form that must be >typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one >typewriter in your house--only computers with laser >printers. > >4. You think of the gadgets in your office as >"friends," but you forget to send your father a >birthday card. > >5. You disdain people who use low baud rates. > >6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on >a salesperson talking with customers--and you butt in >to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes >answering the customers' questions, while the >salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head. > >7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a >conversation without thinking how strange your mouth >feels when you say it. > >8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to >whom you say the phrase "digital compression." >Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not >surprised or disappointed that you don't have to >explain it. > >9. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have >to look up your own social security number. > >10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with >"voice number," since we all know the majority of >phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions >that talk to other contraptions. > >11. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to >your signature. > >12. Off the top of your head, you can think of >nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever >than :-). > >13. You back up your data every day. > >14. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for >her at the store and you return with a rest for your >mouse. > >15. You think jokes about being unable to program a >VCR are stupid. > >16. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and >turning the pages faster than everyone else who is >reading John Grisham novels. > >17. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or >music rarely enters your mind. > >18. You are able to argue persuasively the Ross >Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense >than the term "information superhighway," but you >don't because, after all, the man still uses >hand-drawn pie charts. > >19. You go to computer trade shows and map out your >path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you cannot >give someone directions to your house without looking >up the street names. > >20. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles >per gallon. > >21. You become upset when a person calls you on the >phone to sell you something, but you think it's okay >for a computer to call and demand that you start >pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more >information about the product it is selling. > >22. You know without a doubt that disks come in >five-and-a-quarter-and three-and-a-half-inch sizes. > >23. Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow. > >24. You own a set of itty-bitty screwdrivers and you >actually know where they are. > >25. While contemporaries swap stories about their >recent hernia surgeries, you compare mouse-induced >index-finger strain with a nine-year-old. > >26. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you >feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone >asks you a technology question instead of feeling >compelled to make something up. > >27. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than >your automobile tires. > >28. You have a functioning home copier machine, but >every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal. > >29. You have ended friendships because of >irreconcilably different opinions about which is >better--the track ball or the track *pad*. > >30. You understand all the jokes in this message. If >so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We >suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a >tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.
