[RR] FW. Out of the mouths of Babes

[Rick Barnhouse]

> > My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. > Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the > stories for fun. > > One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class as the > teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs.  She came > to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building > materials for his home. She said "...And so the pig went up to the man > with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said 'Pardon me sir, but might I > have some of that straw to build my house with?'"  Then the teacher > asked the class,  "And what do you think that man said?" > > My friend's son raised his hand and said, "I know!  I know! > He said "Holy smoke! A talking pig!" > > The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. > >             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with > her five- and six-year-olds.  After explaining the commandment to "honor > thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that > teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat > one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." > >                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy > Brown had kissed her after class. > > "How did that happen?!" gasped her mother.  "It wasn't easy," > admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him." > >                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes > at the kitchen sink.  She suddenly notices that her mother has several > strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. > She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your > hairs white, Mom?" > > Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and > make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." > > The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then said, > > "Momma, how come all of Grandma's hairs are white?" > >             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying > to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.  "Just think > how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, > 'There's > Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.' > > A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; > she's dead." > >             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.  Trying > to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head > the blood, as you know, would run into  it, and I would turn red in the > face." > > "Yes, sir," one of  the boys said. > > "Then why is it that, while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, > the blood doesn't run into my feet?" inquired the teacher Socratically. > > The little fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty!"