Rick Barnhouse wrote:
> >
> > My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night.
> > Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the
> > stories for fun.
> >
> > One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class as the
>
> > teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came
> > to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire
> building
> > materials for his home. She said "...And so the pig went up to the
> man
> > with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said 'Pardon me sir, but might
> I
> > have some of that straw to build my house with?'" Then the teacher
> > asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
> >
> > My friend's son raised his hand and said, "I know! I know!
> > He said "Holy smoke! A talking pig!"
> >
> > The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
> > her five- and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to
> "honor
> > thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that
> > teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a
> beat
> > one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not
> kill."
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy
> > Brown had kissed her after class.
> >
> > "How did that happen?!" gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy,"
> > admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the
> dishes
> > at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has
> several
> > strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
>
> > She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of
> your
> > hairs white, Mom?"
> >
> > Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong
> and
> > make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
> >
> > The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then
> said,
> >
> > "Momma, how come all of Grandma's hairs are white?"
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying
> > to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just
> think
> > how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
>
> > 'There's
> > Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'
> >
> > A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
> teacher;
> > she's dead."
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
> Trying
> > to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my
> head
> > the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in
> the
> > face."
> >
> > "Yes, sir," one of the boys said.
> >
> > "Then why is it that, while I am standing upright in the ordinary
> position,
> > the blood doesn't run into my feet?" inquired the teacher
> Socratically.
> >
> > The little fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty!"
Thanks for the laughs. Some really funny stuff!
Randy Miller
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