[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
2001
CHAPTER AND WORSE
- Submitted by the Gridge
____________________________________________
A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he
had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody-- it was so
bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a priest
and poured out his story of tears and woe.
When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a
beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the
beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair,
and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the
pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at
the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that
will tell you what to do."
A year later the businessman went back to the priest and brought his wife
and children with him. The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife
in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope
stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the priest as a donation in
thanks for his advice.
The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I
suggested?" he asked.
"Absolutely," replied the businessman.
"You went to the beach?"
"Absolutely."
"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"
"Absolutely."
"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"
"Absolutely."
"And what were the first words you saw?"
"Chapter 11."
======================================================== JOKE-OF-THE-DAY from FREE4ALL.com ======================================================== ********************************************************************* *** WANT $50 IN FREE CALLS? *** *********************************************************************** Sign up for MCI NetRate and pay just 8� on all your state-to-state long distance calls, and get a $50 prepaid card to use at home or on the go. Click Here! <a href="http://ad.optamail.com/ad3/4/386172/22/MCI"> http://ad.optamail.com/ad3/4/386172/22/MCI</a> ********************************************************************* JokeMaster's Note: ================== It's weird being an Internet celebrity. Millions of people know who I am, but it doesn't get me a seat at a restaurant any faster. Not that I need ultra-speedy service when I'm eating at Planet Hollywood. I went to Planet Hollywood the other night for the first time. They're obviously not enforcing a strict dress code. "Sorry miss, but you're going to have to wear a screaming baby before you can come in here. You can use this one we have in the lost and found. Sir, didn't you read the sign? 'No shirt, no shoes.' I'm going to have to ask you to take those off." Anyway, the staff was creating a huge fuss because a celebrity had entered the place. The JokeMistress and I craned our necks to see who it was - Corey Feldman! He looks like an evil elf. As he walked by our table, he started eyeing the Jokemistress. She turned to me and exclaimed, "You're more famous than this guy!" He blanched and quickly walked by. Yesterday's joke, ON A ROLL, got a rating of 4.5 Joke-of-the-Day for Tuesday, January 23rd, 2001 CHAPTER AND WORSE - Submitted by the Gridge ____________________________________________ A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody-- it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe. When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do." A year later the businessman went back to the priest and brought his wife and children with him. The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks for his advice. The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked. "Absolutely," replied the businessman. "You went to the beach?" "Absolutely." "You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?" "Absolutely." "You let the pages rifle until they stopped?" "Absolutely." "And what were the first words you saw?" "Chapter 11." ------ <a href="http://www.free4all.com"> http://www.free4all.com</a> ------ ********************************************************************* *** WANT $50 IN FREE CALLS? *** *********************************************************************** Sign up for MCI NetRate and pay just 8� on all your state-to-state long distance calls, and get a $50 prepaid card to use at home or on the go. Click Here! <a href="http://ad.optamail.com/ad3/4/386172/22/MCI"> http://ad.optamail.com/ad3/4/386172/22/MCI</a> ********************************************************************* --------------------- GENERAL INSTRUCTIONS --------------------- UNSUBSCRIBE: This is a unique ID to help you unsubscribe SEND A BLANK EMAIL TO THE LONG EMAIL ADDRESS BELOW <a href="mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]"> mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]</a> ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------- NOTICE ------------- You will never receive this e-mail unsolicited from Free4All.com. We are a 100% subscription service only. If you have received this and have not subscribed, then someone had either forwarded you the message or has subscribed you. Copyright 1997-2001 The Humor Network LLC All Rights reserved. Permission is granted for noncommercial distribution of The Humor Network's Jokes as long as this full copyright notice is included.
