"Don’t know why this stem chewed up my bars ... "
I don't think this is uncommon. Nitto sells a tool to help avoid it.
https://www.benscycle.com/nitto-tool-4-stem-handlebar-clamp-spreader/stem_tool_nitto__870-900-11_870-900-11/product
A large flat head screwdriver, or some such, can sometimes work instead.

On Wednesday, June 17, 2020 at 9:54:22 AM UTC-7, Bicycle Belle Ding Ding! 
wrote:
>
> Riv shows out of stock so I called and luckily, their crackerjack mechanic 
> answered the phone. Mark said lubricate the interface (stem/bar) and use 
> wrench to stabilize nut. Meanwhile, he found a triangular nut to sell me, 
> so I’ll try that, too. The shelf that the hex nut snugs up against is too 
> shallow. Plus the aluminum must have worn a bit, making the issue worse 
> (that explains the shavings in my hand).
>
> Don’t know why this stem chewed up my bars or why the ticking, but these 
> are reasonable steps. I’m scared of something as important as a stem being 
> defective, and I’d almost just spring for a new one, but there are none 
> available online.
>
> Sent from my iPad
>
> On Jun 17, 2020, at 9:37 AM, lconley <lco...@brph.com <javascript:>> 
> wrote:
>
> 
> Rivendell sells them for $5, or you can just put a wrench on the nut you 
> have.
>
> Laing.
>
> On Wednesday, June 17, 2020 at 12:35:21 PM UTC-4, Eric Norris wrote:
>
>> Rivendell? Anybody who sells Nitto parts should be able to get one.
>>
>> --Eric Norris
>> campyo...@me.com
>> Insta: @CampyOnlyGuy
>> YouTube: YouTube.com/CampyOnlyGuy  
>>
>> On Jun 17, 2020, at 9:33 AM, Leah Peterson <jonasa...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> The one on my teenager’s Clem has that. I’d love to have it for this stem 
>> - where do I get it?
>>
>> Sent from my iPad
>>
>> On Jun 17, 2020, at 9:32 AM, 'Eric Norris' via RBW Owners Bunch <
>> rbw-owne...@googlegroups.com> wrote:
>>
>> Here is what you should have:
>>
>> <image.jpeg>
>>
>> --Eric Norris
>> campyo...@me.com
>> Insta: @CampyOnlyGuy
>> YouTube: YouTube.com/CampyOnlyGuy <http://youtube.com/CampyOnlyGuy>  
>>
>> On Jun 17, 2020, at 9:30 AM, Leah Peterson <jonasa...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> Eric, that’s the nut that came with it, and it’s the same nut on the 
>> other Technomic stem I have. How can it be wrong? Both stems were purchased 
>> new.
>>
>> Sent from my iPad
>>
>> On Jun 17, 2020, at 9:29 AM, 'Eric Norris' via RBW Owners Bunch <
>> rbw-owne...@googlegroups.com> wrote:
>>
>> That is the wrong nut. Nitto uses a triangular shaped nut on the back 
>> side. I don’t know that what you’re using is dangerous, but you should by 
>> all means get the proper Nitto nut.
>>
>> --Eric Norris
>> campyo...@me.com
>> Insta: @CampyOnlyGuy
>> YouTube: YouTube.com/CampyOnlyGuy <http://youtube.com/CampyOnlyGuy>  
>>
>> On Jun 17, 2020, at 9:26 AM, Leah Peterson <jonasa...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>
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>> <Video.mov>
>>
>>
>> Sent from my iPad
>>
>> On Jun 17, 2020, at 8:39 AM, 'John Hawrylak' via RBW Owners Bunch <
>> rbw-owne...@googlegroups.com> wrote:
>>
>> 
>> ++1 on this.
>>
>> The nut flats contact a 'flat' in the casting, and when you tighten the 
>> allen in front, the 2 flats contact each other, and the nut does not rotate 
>> as you tighten it.  Visually check the BACK of the stem for the nut flat to 
>> line up with the stem casting flat to line up.
>>
>> I would do this before greasing or oiling anything.  The bar is NOT 
>> designed to move or rotate in the clamp and needs grease only to prevent 
>> galvanic corrosion (dis-simiiar metals like steel in Al)
>>
>> John Hawrylak
>> Woodstown NJ
>>
>> On Wednesday, June 17, 2020 at 11:15:55 AM UTC-4, lconley wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>> Ok, what of the strangely spinning bolt? 
>>>>
>>>> Some Nitto stems have a nut on the backside that needs a wrench on it 
>>>> when you turn the Allen wrench on the front bolt to keep it from spinning, 
>>>> some do not. If you have a nut on the back of the stem that you did not 
>>>> hold still while you were turning the Allen wrench, that is likely your 
>>>> problem - the stem bolt was never tight.
>>>>
>>>
>>> Laing 
>>>
>>
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