The Pennsylvania Urban Fighting Force (PUFF) vehemently denies the
allegations levied in a recent Tri-Pact Bureau of Investigation press
release. The TPBI is a known puppet of the corrupt Tri-Pact regime, and both
cringe under the iron fist of the Maryland Attack Group.
While it's true that certain mothballed assets were transferred, the assets
were stripped of their highest technology in accordance with strict UN
guidelines. The recipient, who remains nameless, desired alternatives from
the rigid, outdated, faulty design techniques of the MAG. That individual
desired the educational and practical benefits that come from PUFF
equipment.
Sobbing, he explained "I just want to be free. Free of MAG tyranny. Free of
their politics. But most of all, free of their stinky, stinky body odor."
PUFF salutes the rebellious spirit of this freedom fighter, and will
continue to do everything it can to bring knowledge and light to him and
those like him.
Sincerely,
Arlington Patriot Washington
PUFF Press Secretary
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of Frank Pittelli
Sent: Friday, March 13, 2009 11:17 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [TANKS] Re: RocketMan drives off into the sunset
Vern is on under-cover assignment and asked me to relay this news flash
to the mailing list to protect his cover.
Frank P.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Annapolis, MD:
In a surprise news conference, the Tri-Pact Bureau of Investigation
(TPBI) announced today that it is looking into recent arms sales between
a nefarious gang of hi-tech criminals operating in the Philadelphia area
and unsuspecting members of the Maryland Attack Group. The
investigation, codenamed "Lemon Buster", is based on an anonymous tip
that a flawed and ineffective prototype vehicle known as "Rocket Man"
(aka: Broken Wagon, Complex Scooter, Hi-Tech Shopping Cart) was sold as
a "battle-ready, state-of-the-art armored car" for a large, but
undisclosed amount of money. If convicted, the perpetrators could be
required to pay up to $20 to the Tri-Pact Gaming Enforcement Division
and perform up to one hour of battlefield service.
"I thought something was fishy when I was first approached", said Tom
Lum, innocent dupee, "but the pictures I saw looked nice and the
salesman was very polite so I went ahead with the deal". He continued
to state that "of course, I'll cooperate fully with the TPBI to help
them collect whatever extra monies are due for the transaction ... I'm
sure the government needs the money".
Speaking on conditions of anonymity one of the gang members explained
that "we knew that 'Rocket Man' couldn't meet the stringent MAG
standards", as his voice became more muddled, "but we needed an influx
of cash to keep our operation going so we gave it a try anyway". When
asked why they chose Mr. Lum, the informer chuckled and said, "Why not?
He's the newest MAGster and furtherest from their high-tech testing lab,
so we figured that he would not bother to test the goods."
We were unable to get a comment from any MAG leaders on this story, but
we did get a chance to talk with one of their colleagues, Mr. X, with
the Vegas Alliance. "It's a good thing those boys didn't try selling
that thing to one of the Pittelli Brothers", he said with a slight grin,
"otherwise a couple of kneecaps would be tender right now ... if ya know
whata mean. I do lots of business with the Brothers, but you don't want
to get on their bad side." When asked if he could give any examples,
Mr. X just waved goodbye and walked away.
Vern DernBerger
Tri-Pact News Service
"We Make The News"
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