NOOO. YOU MESSED IT UP. that must of been the best one yet until auntie ethel said: "Your fondesw Aunw Ewhel". I think shes had to much to drink
On Jul 16, 3:58 pm, Mike Lyons <[email protected]> wrote: > Featherstonedough Manor > Lower Fotheringay on Strognobbin, Derybshire > 15th July, Year of Our Lord 2009 > > My dearest nephew Eric, > > I have just received your missive of July 12 and I am Most > Distressed. We have run out of gin and I am down to my last bottle of > Valium. Purvisbotter has gone down to the village for replenishments > and I am all alone in the house with only Cook, Gardener and the three > maids. To Top It All Off, I have just read of your frightful ordeal > with these Horrible Men. > > I feared Mister Phil was new money, but at least he had the decency to > rescue you from these Barbarians. I don't understand why he allows > vehicles inside his castle, let alone shooting. The only vehicle > inside a castle should be a palanquin, and the only shooting on the > grounds should be at flushed pheasant and Foreigners. I do hope your > friend Mister Action Man is unharmed - is he related to the Acton- > Manns of Outer Flumbuggerdown? > > You are fortunate to have been treated so kindly by Nurse Nellie. > Pink sheets are very nice (especially with lilac wallpaper and walnet > wainscoting to match the four-poster) - I presume you caught a glimpse > of her sheets as they were drying on the clothesline. She is blessed > to be expecting, please give my Best Wishes to her and husband - you > haven't mentioned him, is he a doctor at the hospital, or perhaps a > clergyman? God Forbid he is one of these Awful Tank Men. > > I will thank you Never To mention that Unfortunate Incident again. > You know full well that I was invited on board the Invincible by > Captain Snupperwithginbrom-Smythe on her return from the Falklands > skirmish, to welcome home our Victorious Boys. I must have had a > Touch Of The Sun after we ran out of rum and don't remember much after > that. Apparently I had severe heatstroke, because I found my clothes > neatly stacked on a stool next to the bunk where I woke up, presumably > thanks to the care of the Ship's Doctor. Many of the sailors must > have enjoyed my conversation immensely before I fainted, as there are > 47 sets of initials under the tattoo of the ship's insignia on my > upper thigh, which I understand to be a traditional token of > appreciation for Services Rendered. > > Anyway, I digress. Where the hell is Purvisbotter with the gin? No > doubt he has stopped by the schoolhouse to woo Miss Gneelingdon. He > often says he would like her to teach him A Thing Or Two, which I > suspect means something vulgar but choose to ignore. > > Now to Matters Most Important. I forbid you to go anywhere near these > Wretched Tanking Fellows. Your mother appointed me your Guardian on > her deathbed and I promised I would Keep You From Harm. Your uncle > has tried his best to stand in for your father (God rest his soul, and > curse those fuzzywuzzies who butchered him in Rangoon - and on my > birthday of all days!) and both of us wish Only the Best for You. You > and your Nice New Friend, Mister Action Man, should spend your time > volunteering at the church and taking tea with Nurse Nellie and her > husband. Perhaps you could offer to paint the nursery for her Little > One On The Way - between the three of you, you should be able to liven > up the place. > > Your fondesw Aunw Ewhel --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You are currently subscribed to the "R/C Tank Combat" group. To post a message, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe, send email to [email protected] Visit the group at http://groups.google.com/group/rctankcombat -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
