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Yea!! this is good...
thanks Steve.
I will pass this on.
Syl
"Surely goodness and loving
kindness
will follow me all the days of my life, and I
will dwell in the
house of the LORD forever."
Psalm 23:6
-Sylvia C. Lopez
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 6:20
AM
Subject: [RecipesAndMore] Disorder in the
courts
Disorder in the Courts
These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court."
These are
things people actually said in court, word
for word, taken down and now
published by court
reporters.
Judge: "Well, Sir, I have reviewed this case and
I've decided to give
your wife $775 a week."
Husband: "That's fair, your honor. I'll try to
send
her a few bucks
myself."
______________________________________________
Q: What is your
date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every
year
_____________________________________________
Q: What gear were you
in at moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and
Reeboks.
_____________________________________________
Q: This
myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And
in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can
you give us an example of
something you've
forgotten?
______________________________________________
Q: How old is
your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't
remember
which!
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five
years.
______________________________________________
Q: What was the
first thing your husband said to
you when he woke up that morning?
A: He
said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is
Susan.
_________________________________________
Q: And where was the
location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is
milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and
500.
_______________________________________
Q: Sir, what is your
IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I
think.
________________________________________
Q: Did you blow your
horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A:
Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to
school for
it.
________________________________________
Q: Trooper, when you
stopped the defendant, were
your red and blue lights flashing?
A:
Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out
of her
car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I
at?
________________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it
true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about
it
until the next morning?
A: Would you repeat that question,
please?
________________________________________
Q: The youngest son,
the 20-year old, how old
is
he?
_________________________________________
Q: Were you present
when your picture was
taken?
_________________________________________
Q: So the date of
conception of (the baby) was
August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you
doing at that time?
A: I resent that
question.
_________________________________________
Q: She had three
children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were
there any girls?
__________________________________________
Q: You say
the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did
they go up also?
__________________________________________
Q: How was
your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was
it terminated?
_________________________________________
Q: Can you
describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a
beard.
Q: Was this a male or a
female?
_________________________________________
Q: Is your appearance
here this morning pursuant to
a deposition that I sent to your
attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to
work.
________________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many
autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
A: All my autopsies are
performed on dead people.
________________________________________
Q:
All your responses must be oral, OK?
A: OK.
Q: What school did you go
to?
A: Oral.
_________________________________________
Q: Do you
recall the time that you examined the
body?
A: The autopsy started
around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he
was sitting on the table wondering why I
was doing an autopsy on
him.
___________________________________________
Q: Are you qualified to
give a urine sample?
___________________________________________
Q:
Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did
you check for pulse?
A:
No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for
breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient
was
alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so
sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in
a
jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been
alive
nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have
been
alive and practicing law somewhere.
LR FROM NOTTINGHAM
ENGLAND
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