The Silent Treatment >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each >>>other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, >>>he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning >>>business flight. >>> >>>Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on >>>a piece of paper, >>>"Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it. >>>The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM >>>and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and >>>see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by >>>the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." >>>Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. >>> >>> >>> >>> WIFE VS. HUSBAND >>> >>> >>>A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. >>> >>>An earlier discussion had led to an argument and >>> >>> neither of them wanted to concede their position. >>> >>>As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, >>> >>>the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" >>> >>> "Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws >>> >>> >>> >>> WOMEN'S REVENGE >>> >>> "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished >>> to purchase. >>> >>>As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television >>>set in her purse. >>>"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. >>>"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, >>> >>>and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN >>> >>>(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) >>> >>>I know I'm not going to understand women. >>> >>>I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, >>> >>>pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, >>> >>>and still be afraid of a spider. >>> >>> >>>W O R D S >>> >>> A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a >>> day... >>> >>>30,000 to a man's 15,000. >>> >>>The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat >>>everything to men... >>> >>> The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" >>> >>> >>>CREATION >>> >>>A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be >>> >>>so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. >>> >>>" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. >>> >>>God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; >>> >>>God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! >>> >>> >>>WHO DOES WHAT >>> >>>A man and his wife were having an argument about who >>> >>>should brew the coffee each morning. >>> >>>The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, >>> >>>and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." >>> >>> The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and >>> >>>you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my >>>coffee." >>> >>>Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible >>> >>>that the man should do the coffee." >>> >>>Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." >>> >>>So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament >>> >>>and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed >>>says.........."HEBREWS" >>> >>> >>> God may have created man before woman, >>> >>>but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE >>>IT ! Enjoy Nicole .
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