On the Lighter Side... TIMELESS
I frequently receive calls from pollsters asking me to participate in telephone surveys. One woman began with a barrage of questions. "Wait a moment," I said. "Who are you and whom do you represent?" She told me and immediately continued asking questions. "What's the purpose of this survey?" I asked. "Sir," she replied irritably, "I don't have time to answer your questions." Then she hung up. PUNNIES "I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Bill said, dolefully. "I haven't caught a fish all day!" Mike said, without debate. "I keep banging my head on things," Marty said, bashfully. "That is the second time my teacher changed my grade," Donna remarked. "The fur is falling out of that mink coat," Steven inferred. "That's the second electric shock that I've gotten today!" Stew said, revolted. "I'll just have to send that telegram again," Samuel said, remorsefully. "I've been sick and lost a lot of weight," Rachel expounded. 10 WAYS THE BIBLE WOULD BE DIFFERENT (If Written By College Students) 1. The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold. 2. The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font. 3. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling. 4. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food. 5. Paul's letter to the Romans becomes Paul's e-mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] 6. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates. 7. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon. 8. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes. 9. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen. 10. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter. AN ESSAY ON FATHERS: "He can climb the highest mountain or swim the biggest ocean. He can fly the fastest plane and fight the strongest tiger. My father can do anything! But most of the time he just carries out the garbage." - Anonymous eight-year-old DAD'S CHEAPER One little boy defined Father's Day like this: "Father's Day is just like Mother's Day, only you don't spend as much on a present." Lr Smiles --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Access the Recipes And More list archives at: http://www.mail-archive.com/recipesandmore%40googlegroups.com/ Visit the group home page at: http://groups.google.com/group/RecipesAndMore -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
