On the Lighter Side... WHICH TOE?
When my wife quit work to take care of our new baby daughter, countless hours of peekaboo and other games slowly took their toll. One evening she smacked her bare toes on the corner of a dresser and, grabbing her foot, sank to the floor. I rushed to her side and asked where it hurt. She looked at me through tear-filled eyes and managed to moan, "It's the piggy that ate roast beef." THE ONLY COUNTRY Ours is the only country in the world where people pay $200,000 for a house and then leave it for two weeks every summer to sleep in a tent. SO THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANS John's hearing aid occasionally emits a high-pitched squeal that can be heard by anyone near him. His granddaughter was sitting on his lap one day when the device started to beep. Surprised, little Lorraine looked up at him and said, "Oh, Grampa, you've got e-mail!" THAT EXPLAINS IT A newbie got a part time job at the Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. The newbie separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached him at the end of his first day. "I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had." "Thank you, sir" said the newbie, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even a better Job." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?" The newbie replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses." MY JOB HISTORY My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job. Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it. Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard. My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience. Next was a job in a shoe factory - I tried but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired because I wasn't up to it. So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. So, then I retired...and found out I was perfect for the job! The Smileing Chef --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Access the Recipes And More list archives at: http://www.mail-archive.com/recipesandmore%40googlegroups.com/ Visit the group home page at: http://groups.google.com/group/RecipesAndMore -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
