Oh, this is hilarious! got to pass it on to my friends with cats. ----- Original Message ----- From: "helen" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[email protected]> Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2008 2:06 PM Subject: [RecipesAndMore] Re: How To Give A Cat A Pill
> > Lololololol. That's funny! > > Helen > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "steve doyle" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: <[email protected]> > Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2008 10:07 AM > Subject: [RecipesAndMore] How To Give A Cat A Pill > > > How To Give A Cat A Pill > > 1. Pick cat up and cradle in crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. > Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat`s mouth and > gently > apply > pressure to cheeks, while holding pill in palm of right hand. As cat > open`s > mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. > > 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle catin left > arm > and repeat process. > > 3. retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. > > 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws > tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth > with > right > forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10. > > 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of the wardrobe. Call > spouse from garden. > > 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and > rear > paws. Ignore low growls emmitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly > with > one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down side of > ruler > and rub cat`s throat vigorously. > > 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make > note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered > Hummell > figures > from hearth and set to onr side for gluing later. > > 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with cat`s head > just > visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat`s > mouth open with pencil and blow down cat`s throat threw drinking straw. > > 9. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of > water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse`s forearm and remove > blood > from carpet with cold water and soap. > > 10. Retrieve cat from neighbour`s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in > cupboard and close door into neck to eave head showing. Force mouth open > with dessert > spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. > > 11. Fetch screwdriver from shed and put door back on hinges. Apply cold > compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw > t-shirt > away and fetch new one from bedroom. > > 12. Ring fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. > Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. > Remove last > pill from foil wrap. > > 13.Tie cat`s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to > leg of dinning table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves in shed, force cat`s > mouth > open with a small wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of > fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat > to > > 14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency department, sit quietly while > doctor stitches fingers and forearm, and removes pill remnants from right > eye. Call > furniture shop on way home to order new table. > > 15. Arrange for local cat rescue to collect cat, and ring local pet shop > to > see if they have any cute puppies for sale. {Do not do this only think > about > it.} > > > A single candle can illuminate an entire room. A true friend lights up > an entire lifetime. Thanks for the bright lights of your friendship. > > > > > --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Access the Recipes And More list archives at: http://www.mail-archive.com/recipesandmore%40googlegroups.com/ Visit the group home page at: http://groups.google.com/group/RecipesAndMore -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
