RUUD van Nistelrooy has revealed his anguish at being suspended from
Holland's final Euro 2004 qualifier by boss Dick Advocaat.

As exclusively revealed by the Sunday Mirror three weeks ago, Advocaat will
not select the Manchester United striker against Moldova on Saturday.

Van Nistelrooy verbally abused Advocaat, kicked a water bottle and threw his
jacket around on the bench after being subbed against the Czech Republic.

He admitted: "I am a very emotional player, I could not hide my
disappointment. Immediately after the game in Prague I realised I had been
wrong.

"So I went up to the manager and told him I wanted to speak with him. We did
sit down and I told him how sorry I was. He accepted my apologies.

"But this week he phoned me in England and told me he could not tolerate
what I had done.

"I must say that I have looked at the incident since on television and admit
it looks pretty bad." Van Nistelrooy, on target again for United yesterday,
added: "I understand the manager's point and his explanation to me on the
phone was very clear.

"I have to accept what he is doing to me. However, I am still very
disappointed I am not part of the Dutch team now.

"I desperately want to go to the European Championships in Portugal. I have
never been to a major tournament in my career."

If Patrick Kluivert and Roy Makaay play well for Holland on Saturday, Van
Nistelrooy knows there is no way he will return in the team for the two
play-off games next month.

Advocaat said: "The only reason I waited so long with telling him, was
because I did not want to upset him even more at club level.

"He had a few very big games with United in the space of two weeks. But I
knew from the moment he misbehaved that I was going to leave him out for
Holland's next game."

Advocaat said he had to do something as a signal to the rest of the Dutch
camp, which has been a war zone for months.



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