----- Original Message ----- From: "Robert Wilton" <[email protected]> To: "tom petch" <[email protected]>; "Mach Chen" <[email protected]>; <[email protected]>; <[email protected]> Cc: <[email protected]>; <[email protected]> Sent: Thursday, August 02, 2018 12:06 PM > > On 02/08/2018 11:46, tom petch wrote: > > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: "Mach Chen" <[email protected]> > > Sent: Thursday, August 02, 2018 2:58 AM > > > >> Hi Rob, > >> > >> Looks good to me! > > Well it would if we were allowed to have [References] in the Abstract > > which we are not allowed to have:-) > OK, I can remove those. But the NMDA one I copied verbatim from the > abstract in RFC 8343 ;-)
Um, no. Let me try again. RFC8343 has The YANG data model in this document conforms to the Network Management Datastore Architecture (NMDA) defined in RFC 8342. which is fine. For this I-D, you propose >>> The YANG data model in this document conforms to the Network >>> Management Datastore Architecture defined in [RFC8342]. and it is the [ ] that I see as a problem. Abstracts, like YANG Modules, must be plain text so that they can exist independently of an RFC which means that XML/HTML type anchors are not allowed, and I read the [ ] as reflecting an underlying anchor, which needs changing to plain text. Tom Petch > Thanks, > Rob > > > > > > Tom Petch > > > >> Best regards, > >> Mach > >> > >> From: Robert Wilton [mailto:[email protected]] > >> Sent: Wednesday, August 01, 2018 11:37 PM > >> To: Mach Chen <[email protected]>; > > [email protected]; [email protected] > >> Cc: [email protected]; [email protected] > >> > >> Hi Mach, > >> > >> Thanks for the comments, we will address all of these. > >> > >> Specifically for the abstract, I propose changing the text to: > >> > >> " > >> > >> This document defines a YANG data model for the management of the > >> > >> Address Resolution Protocol (ARP). It extends the basic ARP > >> > >> functionality contained in the ietf-ip YANG data model, defined in > >> > >> [RFC8344], to provide management of optional ARP features and > >> > >> statistics. > >> > >> > >> > >> The YANG data model in this document conforms to the Network > >> > >> Management Datastore Architecture defined in [RFC8342]. > >> > >> " > >> Thanks, > >> Rob > >> > >> On 01/08/2018 09:48, Mach Chen wrote: > >> > >> Hello > >> > >> > >> > >> I have been selected to do a routing directorate “early” review of > > this draft. > >> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ding-rtgwg-arp-yang-model-02 > >> > >> > >> > >> The routing directorate will, on request from the working group chair, > > perform an “early” review of a draft before it is submitted for > > publication to the IESG. The early review can be performed at any time > > during the draft’s lifetime as a working group document. The purpose of > > the early review depends on the stage that the document has reached. As > > this document is in working group last call, my focus for the review was > > to determine whether the document is ready to be published. Please > > consider my comments along with the other working group last call > > comments. > >> > >> > >> For more information about the Routing Directorate, please see > > http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/rtg/trac/wiki/RtgDir > >> > >> > >> Document: draft-ding-rtgwg-arp-yang-model-02 > >> > >> Reviewer: Mach Chen > >> > >> Review Date: 01 August 2018 > >> > >> Intended Status: Standards Track > >> > >> > >> > >> Summary > >> > >> > >> > >> The draft defines a YANG model for ARP configurations, which covers > > static ARP, ARP caching, proxy ARP and gratuitous ARP. The model is very > > short and the content is straightforward. It can be a reasonable start > > point for WG adoption call. > >> > >> > >> General comments: > >> > >> > >> > >> Although I am not a native English speaker, I also feel that the > > document needs some enhancements on its wording and grammar to make it > > more clean and readable. > >> > >> > >> For example, the following text needs some rewording or may be > > removed. > >> Abstract: > >> > >> "The data model performs as > >> > >> a guideline for configuring ARP capabilities on a system. It is > >> > >> intended this model be used by service providers who manipulate > >> > >> devices from different vendors in a standard way." > >> > >> > >> > >> Specific comments: > >> > >> > >> > >> 1. It's lack of the IANA section. > >> > >> > >> > >> 2. Section 3.1 and Section 3.3, suggest to add relevant references to > > ARP caching and gratuitous ARP. > >> > >> > >> 3. import ietf-interfaces { > >> > >> prefix if; > >> > >> description > >> > >> "A Network Management Datastore Architecture (NMDA) > >> > >> compatible version of the ietf-interfaces module > >> > >> is required."; > >> > >> } > >> > >> import ietf-ip { > >> > >> prefix ip; > >> > >> description > >> > >> "A Network Management Datastore Architecture (NMDA) > >> > >> compatible version of the ietf-ip module is > >> > >> required."; > >> > >> } > >> > >> > >> > >> Lack of the reference RFCs. > >> > >> And the descriptions seem not appropriate, some of other descriptions > > in this document have the similar issue, suggest to revise those > > descriptions. > >> > >> > >> In addition, idnits tool shows: > >> > >> > >> > >> == Missing Reference: 'RFC826' is mentioned on line 77, but not > > defined > >> > >> > >> == Missing Reference: 'RFC6536' is mentioned on line 583, but not > > defined > >> > >> > >> ** Obsolete undefined reference: RFC 6536 (Obsoleted by RFC 8341) > >> > >> > >> > >> == Unused Reference: 'I-D.ietf-netmod-rfc7223bis' is defined on line > > 606, > >> but no explicit reference was found in the text > >> > >> > >> > >> == Unused Reference: 'RFC0826' is defined on line 636, but no > > explicit > >> reference was found in the text > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> Best regards, > >> > >> Mach > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -- > > -------- > > > > > >> _______________________________________________ > >> rtgwg mailing list > >> [email protected] > >> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/rtgwg > >> > _______________________________________________ rtgwg mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/rtgwg
