very refreshing indeed... It would be very interesting to see the reply letter...
On Tue, Aug 10, 2010 at 9:34 AM, Sika <[email protected]> wrote: > Wow, that really is refreshingly satiric, cde! > > On Aug 8, 7:32 am, Lucky Lukhele <[email protected]> wrote: > > *An open letter to Prince Mahlaba of Swaziland * > > > > *The Whipping Boy * > > > > Aug 8, 2010 12:00 AM | By Ben Trovato > > ------------------------------ > > > > *Dear Prince,I read in one of our counter-revolutionary rags that you > have > > threatened journalists with death if they continue to write negative > things > > about Swaziland. Well done, sir. * > > > > You will be pleased to hear that our most excellent government here in > South > > Africa is following your leadin supporting press freedom > > > > On behalf of our glorious ruling party, the ANC, I applaud you for taking > > such a courageous stand against these unpatriotic vermin. > > > > As King Mswati's brother and a leading member of a highly influential > royal > > advisory council, you would be failing in your duty if you remained > silent > > and allowed these mendacious dogs to write anything that slopes into > their > > poisoned minds. > > > > As you so aptly put it: "It is a fact that journalists earn their living > by > > writing lies. I want to warn the media to bury things that ... are > harmful > > to the country's international image. Journalists who continue to write > bad > > things about the country will die." > > > > Personally, I think death is too good for them. Kill them, by all means, > but > > why not torture them first? It worked for the Spanish during the > > Inquisition, and there is no reason why it shouldn't work for you in > > Swaziland, even if you aren't Catholic. At the very least, these > > pub-crawling prevaricators will be encouraged to name their fellow > > conspirators. Subeditors and layout artists are part of the axis of evil, > > and they should not be allowed to escape the purges. > > > > Yours is one of the most peaceful and democratic countries in the world, > and > > anyone who says differently should be lashed to the rack and stretched > until > > his spine snaps. > > > > What's more, any "journalist" who writes that Swaziland is a landlocked > > country should have his hands chopped off. If the world gets to hear that > > you don't have a port, you can kiss foreign investment goodbye. Your > > harbour, sir, is one of the best in Africa. You can count on me to spread > > the word. > > > > I have seen it written that Swaziland has the world's highest prevalence > of > > HIV/Aids. The purveyors of this rancid propaganda must be whipped with > > jellyfish tails and have spikes driven through their venomous forked > > tongues. There are no sick, bed-ridden people in Swaziland. There are > only > > people who enjoy resting for long periods of time. > > > > Anyone who writes that Swaziland is a small country with an unemployment > > rate of 40% deserves to have their toes sliced open and their hair set > > alight. Swaziland is huge. Bigger than Russia. And everyone has at least > > five jobs, three houses and a dozen or so cars. Not ordinary cars either. > > Like the king, most households have a Maybach in the garage. > > > > Most importantly, Swaziland does not rely almost exclusively on South > Africa > > for its economic survival. In fact, it is the other way around. You need > to > > make your journalists understand that, without Swaziland, South Africa > would > > be nothing more than a tin-pot dictatorship ruled by a despotic monarch > with > > 84 teenage wives and several million children. Help them to understand > this > > by ramming porcupine quills into their eyes. > > > > Any reporter who quotes the fabricated Forbes 2009 list of the world's > > richest royals as saying that King Mswati is worth $100-million should be > > reprimanded. I suggest you do this by summonsing the misguided hack and > > inserting the expandable Pear of Anguish into the orifice of your > choosing. > > This was a popular form of chastisement during medieval times - a golden > age > > when journalists could be relied upon to report accurately on their > > emperor's new clothes. > > > > You will be pleased to hear that our most excellent government here in > South > > Africa is following your lead in supporting press freedom. Our chief of > > police, Comrade General Bheki Cele Sir, set his special unit, the Orcs, > on a > > Sunday Times journalist this week, and many others are starting to see > the > > error of their ways. > > > > However, in the unlikely event that the pen turns out to be more powerful > > than the sword after all, I suggest you break out the guns. Swords are > for > > tiny, impoverished nations so riddled with corruption and disease that > they > > will probably disappear in a few years. Anyone who suggests Swaziland is > > such a nation should expect to have molten lead poured into their ears > and > > their knees crushed in a vice. > > > > Yours in the quest for truth, > > > > Ben 'Thumbscrew' Trovato > > > > http://www.timeslive.co.za/sundaytimes/article591118.ece/An-open-lett... > > -- > NEW!!!! SSN FORUM IS ON FACEBOOK!!!! > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Swaziland > Solidarity Network Forum Google Group. > Visit the group home page at > http://groups-beta.google.com/group/sa-swaziland-solidarity-eom-forum for > more options, pages and files. > To post to the group, send email to > [email protected] or reply to this > message. > To unsubscribe, send email to > [email protected] > -- Venceremos -- NEW!!!! SSN FORUM IS ON FACEBOOK!!!! You received this message because you are subscribed to the Swaziland Solidarity Network Forum Google Group. Visit the group home page at http://groups-beta.google.com/group/sa-swaziland-solidarity-eom-forum for more options, pages and files. To post to the group, send email to [email protected] or reply to this message. To unsubscribe, send email to [email protected]
