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3 Easy Ways to Die : 


Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early. 

Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early. 

Love Someone Truly - You will die daily. 



1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells 

her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED. 



2.. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption : 

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD 

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY 


3. Three FASTEST means of Communication : 

1. Tele-Phone 

2. Tele-Vision 

3. Tell to Woman 

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE.. 


4.. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends. 


6.. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest. 

They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. 

Ant 1 says : we should KILL him. 

Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. 

Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.. 

Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR. 



7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. 

If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life. 



8.. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE. 

Answer : On their MARRIAGE. 



9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from 
Darkness. 

Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY 
BILL. 



10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. 

Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake. 

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