Q: Sometimes one gets a feeling that One is very close to God and at
other times one feels that God has moved very far away. Would Swami please
explain the reasons for those feelings?
Bhagawan: Jealousy and anger are responsible for these feelings. If these
are controlled, then one is in a position to control the Supreme Spirit
(Paramatma). That is, Swami comes near, otherwise he appears far from you.
Sometimes the boys (referring here to His college boys) do not understand as to
why Swami appears to be angry with them. They have to realize that their
thoughts, which Swami knows, are responsible for Swami's reactions.
Here is a small story. Once King Akbar was informed by some of his Moslem
noblemen, that Guru Nanak was enjoying great popularity with a large section of
the Moslem population and he should be firmly put down. Now Akbar had a Hindu
mother, so he was very tolerant towards non-Moslems and he invited Guru Nanak
to visit his palace. But, Nanak refused the invitation and said, "I have only
one King and that is God. Worldly kings are there and gone tomorrow. I pay
homage only to
God."
Akbar realized the wisdom in Nanak's reply, so he invited Nanak to pray
in a mosque. At the mosque, Guru Nanak created a commotion by laughing loudly
when the priest began to recite the prayers. All those assembled there were
angry with Nanak, but Akbar counseled patience. Then Akbar began to recite the
prayers and to the surprise, Nanak began laughing even louder. Now Akbar
demanded an explanation of Nanak's behaviour and in reply Nanak said, "You were
thinking of your Arabian horses (Akbar had received these as a gift the day
before) during the recitation of your prayers and the priest was thinking of
his ill son. So what could I do but laugh at this hypocrisy." His reaction was
based on their thoughts and not on their external behaviour.
Swami is not affected by external appearances or performances. Swami is
always looking for internal purity only.
Source:
Questions and Answers with Baba - Eruch B. Fanibunda - 1976 :