Q: Sometimes one gets a feeling that One is very close to God and at other times one feels that God has moved very far away. Would Swami please explain the reasons for those feelings?
Bhagawan: Jealousy and anger are responsible for these feelings. If these are controlled, then one is in a position to control the Supreme Spirit (Paramatma). That is, Swami comes near, otherwise he appears far from you. Sometimes the boys (referring here to His college boys) do not understand as to why Swami appears to be angry with them. They have to realize that their thoughts, which Swami knows, are responsible for Swami's reactions. Here is a small story. Once King Akbar was informed by some of his Moslem noblemen, that Guru Nanak was enjoying great popularity with a large section of the Moslem population and he should be firmly put down. Now Akbar had a Hindu mother, so he was very tolerant towards non-Moslems and he invited Guru Nanak to visit his palace. But, Nanak refused the invitation and said, "I have only one King and that is God. Worldly kings are there and gone tomorrow. I pay homage only to God." Akbar realized the wisdom in Nanak's reply, so he invited Nanak to pray in a mosque. At the mosque, Guru Nanak created a commotion by laughing loudly when the priest began to recite the prayers. All those assembled there were angry with Nanak, but Akbar counseled patience. Then Akbar began to recite the prayers and to the surprise, Nanak began laughing even louder. Now Akbar demanded an explanation of Nanak's behaviour and in reply Nanak said, "You were thinking of your Arabian horses (Akbar had received these as a gift the day before) during the recitation of your prayers and the priest was thinking of his ill son. So what could I do but laugh at this hypocrisy." His reaction was based on their thoughts and not on their external behaviour. Swami is not affected by external appearances or performances. Swami is always looking for internal purity only. Source: Questions and Answers with Baba - Eruch B. Fanibunda - 1976 : OUR LIFE IS HIS MESSAGE Sai Ram
