Hello everybody. Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then let's begin. This is a story about a ridiculous man named Bob, a doormat and something I decided wasn't really worth `alledging' any more, which caused quite a revelation for poor old Sam out on the west coast.
Now, Bob runs a magazine in which people from software companies can advertise anything they like, even if it's (may I say the word?) _games_. Well, I decided to buy a game called "Legend of Eshan" because I thought it sounded quite good from what I'd heard about it. So, I sent off my cheque and a few days later it arrived - sounds good so far, eh? Well, the trouble with the game was, that it didn't load - I got lots of vertically scrolling coloured lines all over the screen, and a screeching noise which was kind of off-putting. Now, here's the funny thing. I had ordered the game from a company called Revelation, but the little note came through saying `thankyou for your order' from Format Publications. On the note it said that they would deal with any problems, so I sent the disk back asking for a replacement as it failed to load. And I waited and waited, and grew very tired of waiting until one day I decided that I was going to write to Bob and ask him why it was taking so long to replace my disk. Well, Jenny replied to me a short while later. I think Jenny is the name Bob likes to go by when he's out of an evening. (tho for Christ's sake don't quote me on that one, cos it's only a joke) Anyway, Jenny said that I hadn't been sent my disk because I hadn't enclosed an SAE, and anyway, the disk worked so she'd kindly sent it back to me. I was furious. Why should I send them an SAE? After all, they'd sent me a bad disk in the first place, and I didn't quite understand what the point in sending me the same disk back again was, because funnily enough, it still didn't work. "Well," I thought, "perhaps it's a fault with my disk drive." So I cleaned the drive heads, and tried it again, and it still didn't work. Then I tested some of my own disks, and they all worked just fine, so I wrote to Bob again sending him an SAE this time and returning the disk once more. Bob wrote back to me a little while later, explaining that the disk did work, so my computer was broken. Well, as you can imagine, I was very annoyed. So I wrote to Bob again, with another SAE to make sure that he would reply, and I said "I want a replacement disk, or my money back" (make a note of that, as I'll be asking questions later). Anyway, I waited a little while, and then Frank wrote to me! I think Frank is the name that Bob uses when he wants people to think that somebody else is writing to them. Now, Frank (Broughton) is apparently something to do with Revelation Software, so I was quite pleased, as I thought he'd sort it all out. He didn't though - now do you remember my little quite a minute ago? Good, because Frank sent me a credit note so I could buy something else from Revelation, or Format or West Coast Computers. I didn't remember asking for one of those. OK, fun's over - this is my serious point... Frank also said that Bob had sent me two different disks, and that if they both failed then there must be something wrong with my computer. Unfortunately Bob and Frank didn't notice the little black mark that I had put underneath the write-protect tab on the disk which uniquely identified it from any other disk. I was sent the same disk every time. >From this I draw the conclusion that: ************************************************************************** Bob Brenchley is a liar and you may put my name to that any time you like. ************************************************************************** It's also worth noting that Format are handling all the orders for Revelation and West Coast. Not only that, but the letter from Frank Broughton supposedly from Exeter had a Gloucester postmark. In my opinion, this kind of proves that Bob is running the whole outfit. This is simply a warning to anybody who has seen the rumours about Bob Brenchley, but hasn't ever had any bad experiences. That was exactly the situation I was in until this fiasco, but now I am member number 1 of the `I hate Bob Brenchley' club. Is anybody going to the show in Gloucester next weekend? I'll be there, and I'll have a few words to say to Mr Brenchley while I'm there...anybody been to a fireworks display recently? Bye Nige
