Re: hide pain
Re: hide pain @7 Damn. Your story has so much I have not experienced. I'm glad that person was there for you and I give all respect to you for continuing on. And @post 5, you are right, I do not believe in God so there is no direction for anger to go. Can't ask mom about my history and stuff because she passed when I was 12, and dad never payed too much attention to it, not to say he didn't care or he didn't participate in decisions of my life, just that my mom seems to have been more focused on it, from what I can assume from when I ask my dad questions. So yes, very frustrating indeed. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/407274/#p407274 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: hide pain
Re: hide pain I am for the most part. it was a necessity for me, growing up in a family who is pretty much incapable of being emotionally supportive. I used to escape into things like music, reading, and journaling almost obsessively. I gave up journaling when the file I used for it got passed around the school for the blind I went to. Long story, but needless to say, I pretty much shut down after that. For a few years afterwards, I threw myself into always being there for others, letting them take what they wanted, or only having surface level friendships so that people wouldn't think I was crazy. I've heard that more times than I can count, too, and again, that's a whole complex story. But what changed my life was meeting someone who actually encouraged me to be myself, who didn't think my interests were weird like so many others do, and even shared a lot of them. To him, not being forthcoming about emotions or things that bothered me, or saying what I thought was a bad thing, and it took me a long time to get used to that. There were cultural differences at play there, and I honestly never realized how fucked up certain facets of American society are. Yeah, I always balked at only being worth something depending on the title you hold, not who you are as a person, and I always wished for a truly meaningful connection with someone, but I never realized how hard it actually is to find said connection unless you present yourself in such a way that you seem 100% normal. That's why I've been adrift these past couple of years since that relationship ended, unable to reconcile the fact that I have to go back to a life of pleasing everyone else at the expense of myself, never letting anyone in because they're going to think less of me. In a professional capacity, if I ever do get a job, I'll put a brave face on for my employer and colleagues, that's just something you have to do no matter who you are and where you come from. And I'll always have to act a certain way with my family, basically being the shoulder they lean on, and being ready at all times with my patented brand of witty, sarcastic humor. I'm told I'm good at that, anyway. But god damn, it's difficult to not have that outlet, that respite, if you will, of people who truly get you. It's hard for me to go back to a life of holding things in. Before, I didn't know any better. Now that I know that there's another way, I don't think I can ever be that person again.So, to answer the actual question, I think I hide things because I know I must, but it's a lot harder now than it used to be. It's like walking up a mountain through molasses every day, but I suppose that's how most people measure strength. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/407263/#p407263 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: hide pain
Re: hide pain Yup, I always have to hide head akes, don't know why they are hapenning though.I can do the same with stomac akes or if I have a bad feeling in my troath, but if my legs hurt, or arms, I can't really do much to hide it. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/407258/#p407258 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: hide pain
Re: hide pain Because you haven't come to terms with it, you're still angry, but you don't have a person or entity to direct it at. Like, you could be angry at god if you believed in such things, but either you're afraid to be angry at god or you don't believe in god. Because it just happened, there's no direction for your anger to take, so it just lashes out. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/407252/#p407252 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: hide pain
Re: hide pain Ever since I went blind my good intensions have been infected by sufferage and sometimes I want to make people suffer socially just like me. But again my good heart doesn’t want that URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/407249/#p407249 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: hide pain
Re: hide pain Ever since I went blind my good intensions have been infected by suffage and sometimes I want to make people suffer socially just like me. But again my good heart doesn’t want that URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/407249/#p407249 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: hide pain
Re: hide pain I'm good at hiding it from others, not the people who caused the pain if there were people...Like, say, wen I get in an argument and there completely rong btw, I get really fuckin angry and it's obvious, but later on I can hide it from others. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/407247/#p407247 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
Re: hide pain
Re: hide pain pretty much my whole life, no one has ever known. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/407233/#p407233 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
hide pain
hide pain I have a simple question for the people in this forum. The question can refer to any topic or topics of your choice. Have you mastered how to hide pain? I have. I am not suicidal, but I would like to know if anyone else has masted hiding any type of pain. You do not need to get personal if you don't want to talk about it, answering the question is up to you. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/407230/#p407230 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
hide pain
hide pain I have a simple question fo rthe people in this forum. The question can refer to any topic or topics of your choice. Have you mastered how to hide pain? I have. I am not suicidal, but I would like to know if anyone else has masted hiding any type of pain. You do not need to get personal if you don't want to talk about it, answering the question is up to you. URL: https://forum.audiogames.net/post/407230/#p407230 -- Audiogames-reflector mailing list Audiogames-reflector@sabahattin-gucukoglu.com https://sabahattin-gucukoglu.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/audiogames-reflector
