[lace-chat] religious humor

2007-07-18 Thread lacespider
PASTOR'S BUSINESS CARD


A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it 
seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated 
knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 
Revelation 3:20 on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card 
had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10.

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of 
laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins, Behold I stand at the door and knock. 
Genesis 3:10 reads, I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I 
was naked.

Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are!
A cheerful heart is good medicine (Prov. 17:22).
Now, pass it on! God Bless You Today.

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] fabric

2007-04-11 Thread lacespider
Joy Beeson  [EMAIL PROTECTED]   mentioned fabric.com...

 I don't have problems spending on fabric on-line. I typically don't buy it 
online. There are too many variables to deal with and I am very tactile.  I 
like to touch it before I buy it. 

 I want to know the hand of the fabric, yarn, etc. I want to give the 
fabric the scrunch and squeeze test to see how much it wrinkles. Is it soft or 
crisp, or just the sizing? There is flannel and there is flannel. Is it the 
light weight stuff to make baby clothes from or is it the heavy stuff for an 
over shirt somewhere between a shirt and a jacket? You can't get all of this 
information from a brief description on the internet. Then there is the 
question of how true the colors are on the website. Is that blue or green or 
just a trick of the light? 

 I know, you don't have to tell me...I'm picky! Yes, I have had enough 
experience buying fabric and not being happy with it that I am far more 
careful. I hate to have to amend the hand of a fabric by fusing all of the 
yardage to stabilize it or improve the hand. What a pain! I only do that on a 
rare occasion if I really love the fabric. 

Michele Hitch
in rainy California, USA
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] re: sewing with Martha

2007-04-08 Thread lacespider
I am glad to hear sewing is coming back.  I have sewn since I learned in Home 
Economics in Jr. High many years ago. I haven't sewn in some years now, but I 
do know how. Walmart I believe is getting rid of all their sewing departments. 
What a shame when things may be on the upswing. Here in the United States, 
Central California, the fabric stores are becoming few and far between and seem 
to be giving over to more crafts than sewing supplies. Is this the case 
elsewhere? 

If there were a better selection of fabrics and a notions available locally, I 
might do some sewing again. NOT because it is cheaper, because fabric prices 
are not always reasonable. I do like to make things that are in the colors I 
like no matter what is in right now and I like to alter things to fit and 
perhaps enhance a design. There is creative license to be taken. Hm... 
going to have to dig for that stash... does machine need a check up before use? 
probably :(  I might have to fiddle anyway.

Well, off to find the old fabric stash and see what is in there.

Happy belated Easter!
Michele Hitch
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Central Coast California, USA

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] non-lace but interesting

2007-03-17 Thread lacespider
Hi all,
This is non-lace, but interesting so will send to both lists. I haven't been 
keeping close tabs on the lists lately, so if someone else has mentioned this 
sight before please forgive a repeat. My sister sent this to me because if my 
many fiber interests. Those who like math and crochet will especially 
appreciate it, but if you like sea life you might enjoy it too. It is really 
interesting. I was reading the blurb beside the picture before I looked at the 
picture to see what it really was...  Enjoy!


http://openfordesign.msn.com/default.aspx?id=5tech1_wertheimGT1=9166

Michele Hitch
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
From central California, near Monterey, where it was 77 degrees farenheit at 
12:30 this afternoon before it hit peak temperature. Soo  nice! Yeah sun 
again!

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] Cracked Pot

2007-01-12 Thread lacespider
Dear Spiders,

 I love the meaning in this little story.
 
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, 
which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the 
other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water, at the end 
of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only 
half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing 
home only one and a half pots of water.  Of course, the perfect pot was proud 
of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own 
imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made 
to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the 
woman one day by the stream.  
  I am ashamed of myse lf, because this crack in my side causes water to leak 
out all the way back to your house. The old woman smiled, Did you notice that 
there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? 
That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds 
on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For 
two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the 
table.  Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty 
to grace the house. Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks 
and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and 
rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for 
the good in them. SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great year and 
remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!


Michele Hitch
Salinas, CA, USA
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] footy thanks

2006-08-16 Thread lacespider
David and other helpful folk,

Thanks for the explanations of footy. I love learning new lingo! 

Michele Hitch
Salinas, California, USA

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] re: Creation

2006-08-06 Thread lacespider
Okay David, I was raised in a family whose rule was if you used a term others 
did not understand you had to explain it. Please explain what a footy is.

TIA,
Michele Hitch
Salinas, California 

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] re: fifty dollars...

2006-06-17 Thread lacespider
Hi all,

Sorry about the all caps on the fifty dollars humor. I copied and pasted not 
thinking about the caps. I've been around for a long time,  but am still 
capable of the beginner errors when the brain sleeps while I e-mail. Please 
accept my apology.

Michele Hitch
Salinas, California

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] fifty dollars is fifty dollars

2006-06-15 Thread lacespider
MORRIS AND HIS WIFE ESTHER WENT TO 

THE STATE FAIR EVERY YEAR. 

EVERY YEAR, MORRIS WOULD SAY, 

ESTHER, I 'D LIKE TO RIDE IN THAT 

HELICOPTER. 

ESTHER ALWAYS REPLIED, 

 I KNOW MORRIS, BUT THAT HELICOPTER RIDE 

IS 50 DOLLARS AND 50 DOLLARS IS 50 DOLLARS. 

A FEW YEARS LATER, ESTHER AND MORRIS WENT TO THE FAIR. 

MORRIS SAID, ESTHER, I'M 85 YEARS OLD. 

IF I DON'T RIDE THAT HELICOPTER NOW, 

I MIGHT NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE. 

ESTHER REPLIED, MORRIS, 

THAT HELICOPTER IS 50 DOLLARS AND $50 DOLLARS 

IS 50 DOLLARS. 

THE PILOT OVERHEARD THE COUPLE. HE SAID, 

FOLKS, I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL. 

I'LL TAKE THE BOTH OF YOU FOR A RIDE. 

IF YOU CAN STAY QUIET FOR THE ENTIRE 

RIDE AND NOT SAY A WORD, 

I WON'T CHARGE YOU! BUT IF YOU SAY ONE WORD, 

IT'S 50 DOLLARS. 

MORRIS AND ESTHER AGREED -- AND UP THEY WENT. 

THE PILOT DID ALL KINDS OF FANCY MANEUVERS. 

BUT NOT A WORD WAS HEARD. 

HE DID HIS DAREDEVIL TRICKS OVER AND OVER AGAIN, 

BUT STILL NOT A WORD. 

WHEN THEY LANDED, THE PILOT TURNED TO MORRIS. 

HE SAID, BY GOLLY, I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO GET YOU 

TO YELL OUT, BUT YOU DIDN'T. I'M IMPRESSED! 

MORRIS REPLIED, WELL, I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING 

WHEN ESTHER FELL OUT, 

BUT 50 DOLLARS IS 50 DOLLARS. 

Michele Hitch
Salinas, California

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] FW: Real Newspaper Ads

2006-06-07 Thread lacespider
 REAL NEWSPAPER  ADS
   
 
   FREE  YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 
 8 years old.  Hateful little dog.  Bites.
 
 
 FREE PUPPIES: 
 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2  sneaky neighbor's dog.
 
 
 FREE PUPPIES...  
 Mother, AKC German Shepherd. 
 Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall  fences in a single bound.
 
 
 FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. 
 Looks like a  rat ... been out a while. 
 Better be a reward.
 
 COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.  
 Also 1 gay bull for sale.
 
 NORDIC TRACK 
 $300  Hardly used, call Chubby.
 
 GEORGIA PEACHES  
 California  grown - 89 cents lb.
 
 WEDDING DRESS FOR  SALE. 
 WORN ONCE  BY MISTAKE. 
 Call  Stephanie.
 
 
 AND THE BEST  ONE:
 
 FOR SALE BY OWNER:
 Complete set  of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. 
 Excellent condition. 
 $1,000 or best offer. 
 No longer needed, got married last month. 
 Wife knows everything
 
 
From: Yolanda [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Real Newspaper Ads
Date: Sat, 3 Jun 2006 06:00:25 +
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
X-Converted-To-Plain-Text: from Multipart/alternative by demime 1.01d
X-Converted-To-Plain-Text: Alternative section used was text/html

REAL NEWSPAPER  ADS FREE  YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.  Hateful little dog.  Bites.

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2  sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES...
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall  fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a  rat ... been out a while.
Better be a reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.  
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK
$300  Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES
California  grown - 89 cents lb.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
WORN ONCE  BY MISTAKE.
Call  Stephanie.

AND THE BEST  ONE:

FOR U2:CITY

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] The Cake

2006-05-29 Thread lacespider
The cake
 
Have you ever told a white lie?  You are going to love thisespecially all 
of the ladies who bake for church events.
 
Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church ladies' group bake sale 
in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.
 
She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through 
cabinets she found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her 
hair, dressing and helping her son Bryan pack up for Scout camp.
 
But when Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the 
cake was horribly disfigured.
 
She said, Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake. This was so 
important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, And in 
her new community of new friends.
 
So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the 
center of the cake.  Alice found it in the bathroom -- a roll of toilet paper. 
She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished 
product look beautiful, it looked perfect!
 
Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, 
Alice woke her daughter Amanda and gave her some money and
specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened at 9:30, and 
to buy that cake and bring it home.
 
When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found that the attractive perfect 
cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her Mom.
 
Alice was horrified. She was beside herself. Everyone would know; What would 
they think? Oh, my she wailed!  She would be ostracized, talked about, 
ridiculed.
 
All night Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing their fingers 
at her and talking about her behind her back.
 
The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try not to think about the 
cake and she would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a 
friend  and try to have a good time.
 
Alice did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more 
than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent 
and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP'd she 
could not think of a believable excuse to stay home.
 
The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old South and to 
Alice's horror, the CAKE in question was presented for dessert.
 
Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake, she started, 
out of her chair to rush to tell her hostess all about it, but
before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, What a beautiful 
cake!
 
Alice, who was still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess 
,who was a prominent church member, say Thank you, I baked it myself.
 
Alice smiled and thought , GOD IS GOOD!

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] updated version of the birds and the bees

2006-04-17 Thread lacespider
This is cute, I hope you like it as much as I did.
Michele Hitch
Salinas, California
Where we finally have sun today. We've had rain 21 of the last 31 days. Boy am 
I happy to see the sun!





The BIRDS and The BEES.

A little boy goes to his father and asks Daddy, how was I born?

The father answers:
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I
set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We
sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to do a
download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we
discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it
was too late to hit the delete button, Nine months later a blessed
little Pop-Up appeared and said:
You've Got Male!

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] Things to know (long)

2006-04-05 Thread lacespider
I thought I would send this on as it contains a wide range of products often 
kept around the house. I have not tested these, so all disclaimers etc. Still 
fun to read. I saw a couple I might try.
Enjoy!
Michele Hitch
Salinas, California, USA
Where I am starting to think it is time to build an Ark. 

California snow pack in the Sierra Nevada Mountain Range went from 10% below 
normal at the beginning of March to 20% above normal by the end of March and 
more precipitation has fallen since then. Anyone else think the world's weather 
has been getting stranger and stranger?

Anyway, here is the list.

 .THINGS  TO  KNOW

 1.Budweiser beer conditions the hair
 2.Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
 3.Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes
 4.Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair
 5.Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see
 the dead skin and blackheads
 6.Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea
 7.Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
 8.Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste
 9.Burn your tongue? Put sugar On it!
 10.  Arthritis?  WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too
 11.  Bee stings - meat tenderizer
 12.  Chigger bite - Preparation H
 13.  Puffy eyes - Preparation H
 14.  Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures
 at most hospitals)
 15.  Stinky feet - Jell-O!
 16.  Athletes feet - cornstarch
 17.  Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub
 18.  Kool aid To clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section
 and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet. (Wow, and we drink this 
 stuff)
 19.  Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon Plain
 yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if
 they eat it!
 20.  Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's!  Wipe off with a 
 coffee
 filter paper
 21.  Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray
 22.  Pam Will also remove paint, and grease from your hands!  Keep a can 
 in
 your garage for your hubby
 23.  Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
 24.  When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch 
 and
 watch them slide on
 25.  Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar!
 26.  Body paint - Crisco Mixed with food coloring.  Heat the Crisco in the
 microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color 
 of
 your choice!
 27.  Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a
 rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak
 28.  Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and cup 
 of
 milk of magnesia, Soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
 29.  A Slinky Will hold toast and CD's!
 30.  To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate 
 toothpaste
 31.  Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt And watch it absorb into the 
 salt.
 32.  To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it
 will absorb into the towel.
 33.  Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter!
 34.  Baked on food - fill container with water, get a Bounce paper 
 softener
 and the static from the Bounce Towel will cause the baked on food to 
 adhere
 to it.  Soak overnight.  Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets, Soak
 overnight!
 35.  Crayon on the wall - Colgate Toothpaste and brush it!
 36.  Dirty grout - Listerine
 37.  Stains on clothes - Colgate
 38.  Grass stains - Karo Syrup
 39.  Grease Stains - Coca Cola, It will also remove grease stains from the
 driveway overnight.  We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!
 40.  Fleas in your carpet?  20 Mule Team Borax- Sprinkle and let stand for
 24 hours.  Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
 41.  To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin,
 Or just use 7-up instead of water.
 42.  When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered
 which is the freshest, so you squeeze for freshness or softness?  Did 
 you
 know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? 
 Monday,
 Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  Each day has a different color
 twist tie.  They are: Monday = Blue,  Tuesday = Green, Thursday = Red
 Friday = White and Saturday = Yellow.  So if today was Thursday, you would
 want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)!  The
 colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green - Red - White - Yellow, 
 Monday
 through Saturday.  Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. 
 I
 looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist
 ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors.  You
 learn something new everyday!  Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with 
 the
 right color on the day you are shopping.

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] 

[lace-chat] long - humor Reunion

2006-01-30 Thread lacespider
I just received this from my mother today. I was ROTFL. I haven't seen this one 
before. Well worth the read!

Enjoy!



anonymous

I had prepared for it like any intelligent woman would. I went on a starvation 
diet the day before, knowing that all the extra weight would just melt off in 
24-hours, leaving me with my sleek, trim, high-school-girl body. The last forty 
years of careful cellulite collection would just be gone with a snap of a 
finger.

I knew if I didn't eat a morsel on Friday, that I could probably fit into my 
senior formal on Saturday. Trotting up to the attic, I pulled the gown out of 
the garment bag, carried it lovingly downstairs, ran my hand over the fabric, 
and hung it on the door.

I stripped naked, looked in the mirror, sighed, and thought, Well, okay, maybe 
if I shift it all to the back... bodies never have pockets where you need them.
Bravely, I took the gown off the hanger, unzipped the shimmering dress and 
stepped gingerly into it. I struggled, twisted, turned, and pulled and I got 
the formal all the way up to my knees... before the zipper gave out. I was 
disappointed. I wanted to wear that dress with those silver sandals again and 
dance the night away.
Okay, one setback was not going to spoil my mood for this affair. No way! 
Rolling the dress into a ball and tossing it into the corner, I turned to Plan 
B: the black crepe caftan.

I gathered up all the goodies that I had purchased at Saks: the scented shower 
gel; the body building and highlighting shampoo  conditioner, and the 
split-end killer and shine enhancer. Soon my hair would look like that girl's 
in the Pantene ads.
Then the makeup --the under eye ain't no lines here firming cream, the 
all-day face-lifting gravity-fighting moisturizer with wrinkle filler spackle; 
the all day kiss me till my lips bleed, and see if this gloss will come off 
lipstick, the bronzing face powder for that special glow.

But first, the roll-on facial hair remover. I could feel the wrinkles 
shuddering in fear.
OK, time to get ready! I jumped into the steaming shower, soaped, lathered,
rinsed, shaved, tweezed, buffed, scrubbed and scoured my body to a tingling 
pink.
I plastered my freshly scrubbed face with the anti-wrinkle, gravity fighting, 
your face
will look like a baby's posterior face cream. I set my hair on hot rollers.
I felt wonderful. Ready to take on the world. Or in this instance, my underwear.
With the towel firmly wrapped around my glistening body, I pulled out the black 
lace, tummy-tucking, cellulite-pushing, hamhock-rounding girdle, and the 
matching
lifting those bosoms like they're filled with helium bra.

I greased my body with the scented body lotion and began the plunge. I pulled, 
stretched, tugged, hiked, folded, tucked, twisted, shimmied, hopped, pushed, 
wiggled, snapped, shook, caterpillar crawled and kicked. Sweat poured off my 
forehead but I was done. And it didn't look bad. So I rested. A well deserved 
rest, too.
The girdle was on my body. Bounce a quarter off my behind? It was tighter than a
trampoline. Can you say, Rubber baby buggy bumper buns? Okay, so I had
to take baby steps, and walk sideways, and I couldn't move from my buns to my
knees. But I was firm! 

Oh no...I had to go to the bathroom. And there wasn't a snap crotch. From now 
on, undies gotta have a snap crotch. I was ready to rip it open and re-stitch 
the crotch with Velcro, but the pain factor from past experiments was still 
fresh in my mind.
I quickly sidestepped to the bathroom.

An hour later, I had answered nature's call and repeated the struggle into the 
girdle.
I was ready for the bra. I remembered what the saleslady said to do. I could 
see her glossed lips mouthing, Do not fasten the bra in the front, and twist 
it around. Put the bra on the way it should be worn--straps over the shoulders. 
Then bend over and gently place both breasts inside the cups. Easy if you have 
four hands. But, with confidence, I put my arms into the holsters, bent over 
and pulled the bra down...but
the boobs weren't cooperating. I'd no sooner tuck one in a cup, and while 
placing
the other, the first would slip out. I needed a strategy. I bounced up and down 
a few times, tried to dribble them in with short bunny hops, but that didn't 
work. So, while bent over, I began rocking gently back and forth on my heel and 
toes and I set 'em to swinging. Finally, on the fourth swing, pause, and lift, 
I captured the gliding glands. Quickly fastening the back of the bra, I stood 
up for examination. Back straight, slightly arched, I turned and faced the 
mirror, turning front, and then sideways. I smiled. Yes, Houston, we have lift 
up! My breasts were high, firm and there was cleavage! I was happy until I 
tried to look down. I had a chin rest. And I
couldn't see my feet.

I still had to put on my pantyhose, and shoes. Oh...why did I buy heels with 
buckles? Then I had to pee again. I put on my sweats, fixed myself a drink, 
ordered pizza, and 

[lace-chat] e-bay song on internet

2005-12-28 Thread lacespider
This if for fans and non-fans of E-bay.  I ran across this on a knitting blog 
while searching for free sweater patterns. It's cute.

http://tinafolsomphotography.com/ebay_song.html

Michele Hitch
Salinas, California

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace] pre-treating knitting wool was wool lace weight thread

2005-12-27 Thread lacespider
Hi Joy and all,

I don't use wool myself, as I am allergic. Tragedy as there are so many yummy 
yarns out there! 

If you have a small enough amount of yarn, after the water soak, you could put 
the yarn in a salad spinner and spin a bunch of water out.  I saw it on the 
show Knitty Gritty in DIY cable network in USA. I thought that was kind of 
clever. 

Just my two cents worth.

Happy New Year!
Michele Hitch
Salinas, California

P.S. I finished the two sweaters I was working on. One for 4 yr. old niece and 
the other for 2 yr. old nephew. Both went over big. I was told I could sell 
them at the fancy kid boutiques for big money. I don't think so until I can 
stop making major errors that have to become design elements. I also had to 
modify nephews sweater to allow for big head by opening shoulder seam and 
adding buttons to close. I know I followed those neck instructions to the 
letter, but alas a modification had to save the day. Ho hum!

-
To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace] card exchange

2005-12-05 Thread lacespider
Hi all,

I sent my exchange card away to Australia today. I hope it has a safe trip 
overseas.

I received a lovely card in the mail today from Dianne Taylor of Dunlap 
Tennessee. I will hang my red and gold BL candle on our tree when we get it up. 
I love having a new lace treasure to hang on the tree. 

Thank you Dianne, it is very pretty. Please e-mail me your e-mail address so I 
can thank you more personally?

Now I'm really getting in the Holiday spirit, getting a pretty Christmas 
treasure on top of the very cold snap that has hit here. Puts me in a very 
Christmassy mood.

Well, back to knitting furiously on the latest sweater project, this on for a 
young nephew. I think I may add a star to this one even though it isn't on the 
pattern. Suede yarn feels sooo good!

Michele Hitch
in chilly Salinas, California
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

-
To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace-chat] card exchange

2005-12-05 Thread lacespider
Hi all,

I sent my exchange card away to Australia today. I hope it has a safe trip 
overseas.

I received a lovely card in the mail today from Dianne Taylor of Dunlap 
Tennessee. I will hang my red and gold BL candle on our tree when we get it up. 
I love having a new lace treasure to hang on the tree. 

Thank you Dianne, it is very pretty. Please e-mail me your e-mail address so I 
can thank you more personally?

Now I'm really getting in the Holiday spirit, getting a pretty Christmas 
treasure on top of the very cold snap that has hit here. Puts me in a very 
Christmassy mood.

Well, back to knitting furiously on the latest sweater project, this on for a 
young nephew. I think I may add a star to this one even though it isn't on the 
pattern. Suede yarn feels sooo good!

Michele Hitch
in chilly Salinas, California
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace] re: new poem

2005-10-22 Thread lacespider
Yeah Noelene!

You got us all in there! Way to go!

Michele Hitch
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

-
To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace] tatted lace, card exchange, etc.

2005-10-16 Thread lacespider
Hi all!

I am peeping out of lurk mode to put in my two cents. Having been a newbie to 
several different forms of lace at different times in my life I would like to 
share a little. 

About 20 years ago, I took my first lace class in tatting at the community 
center in the city I was living at the time. It took me years to make progress 
that I was happy with. I would work at it for about 6 months, get frustrated, 
take a 6 month break. Then I would start in making some headway before reaching 
a wall again. I only took an 8 week beginner class. I learned to make a ring, a 
chain and how to join to a picot. No finishing techniques or two shuttle, 
nothing fancy. 

I was encouraged by others who saw the development of my skills. Then a few 
years later I found this list. Mostly what I read about was Bobbin Lace. I 
hadn't a clue what that was. It was many years later that I finally took 
classes and learned how to make bobbin lace. In the mean time, I was teaching 
myself Richeleau and needle lace because I could find information about that at 
a craft or book store, plus I had a collection of appropriate thread by that 
time too, thanks to my tatting. 

Eventually I learned that there were threads on Arachne about tatting and 
even got up the courage to design tatting. I joined a beginners tatted doily 
round robin. It wasn't a total success for all of the participants in our 
group, but I came out with a beautiful doily. I had been afraid of joining the 
round robin because I still considered myself to be a beginner. It did inspire 
me to do more designing. I got encouragement and help from other tatters on the 
lace list. It was wonderful!

I had seen many a flame sent and didnt want to be on the receiving end of one. 
I took a chance and was thrilled in the end. It boosted my confidence in my 
skills. I would encourage anyone who wants to to participate in the 
opportunities we have on this list, to expand your horizons and those of others 
who share our interest in lace. 

I have some beautiful bookmarks from a bookmark exchange. I received bobbin 
lace which I finally got to see in person and immediately decided I would have 
to learn. That was years ago and I am still only a beginner at bobbin lace, but 
I like to flit from one to the next challenge. I taught myself to crochet lace 
and a few sweaters. Since June 2005 I taught myself to knit with the goal of 
learning to knit lace. I have knit several sweaters thus far. I am feeling 
ready to start into the finer yarns and needles and something beyond 
stockinette and garter stitch.

I apologize for going on forever, but my point is that there are generous 
people on this list who will give you a pep talk when you are discouraged. 
There is a wealth of  knowledge from folks around the world on this list. I 
prefer to focus on the generous, kind and helpful people who have helped me 
over the years and the friends I have made. Please don't be offended by the 
comments some make because there are far more of us who would be thrilled to 
receive a piece of lace from someone else in the world who loves lace as much 
as we do. We will love that lace that you spent precious hours working on. We 
will proudly show off the wonder you sent us from whatever corner of the world 
you come from. I consider my fellow spiders to be family and I hope those who 
are new to the list will learn to think thus of us also.

Pollyana signing off,
Michele Hitch
Salinas, California, USA
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

-
To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


[lace] blown glass ball ornaments

2005-10-16 Thread lacespider
Fellow spiders,

Does anyone know of a source for hand blown glass ball ornaments at a 
reasonable price?

I bought some hand blown glass ornaments 2-3 years ago at Michael's reduced 
after Christmas, fifty cents or a dollar each I think. I have been crocheting 
and tatting lace on them since, but I am running out of them. I have  been 
searching the internet and craft stores to no avail. These were not the regular 
round balls with the metal finial and wire. These were onion, pear and round 
shapes with no opening. They have curly pig tails of glass at the top. They 
are delicate and perfect for attaching lace. 

I'm not fond of the balls with the metal and wire because the wire can saw at 
the threads weakening the lace. If it turns out I cannot find the hand blown 
ones I can resort to these, but once you get attached to something its hard to 
give it up. ;~)

TIA
Michele Hitch
Salinas, California, USA
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

-
To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line:
unsubscribe lace [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]