[lace-chat] :) Fwd: bumper snickers
From: C.B. BUMPER STICKERS YOU PROBABLY MISSED BECAUSE YOU WERE DRIVING TOO FAST. ~~~ Constipated People Don't Give A crap. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. Horn BrokenWatch For Finger. The Earth Is Full - Go Home. I Have The Body Of A GodBuddha. So Many PedestriansSo Little Time. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. Illiterate? Write For Help. ~~~ Honk If Anything Falls Off. Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles From The Next Exit. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person. You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now! I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To. Fight Crime: Shoot Back! (Seen Upside Down On A Jeep) If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed For 70 mph. Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut? Ax Me About Ebonics. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel. Boldly Going Nowhere. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost? ~~~ GROW YOUR OWN DOPE--- PLANT A MAN. ~~~ All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets. ~~~ AND THE GREATEST BUMPER STICKER EVER : "POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON" --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] :) Fwd: on electronic voting ...
Lots of you - in the US - read Dave Barry's column in the various Sunday magazines (it's syndicated); if you've seen it already, delete. Those of you - in the US and abroad - who are not familiar with Barry's zany sense of humour, enjoy :) From: T.H. Every vote counts! Well, sometimes - by Dave Barry Pretty soon, you, the American voter, will enter the sacred sanctity of the voting booth and cast your ballot for the next President. Or not. It's also possible that your ballot will go back in time and participate in the election of 1848, or wind up in a distant galaxy, helping to elect an alien being with 73 eyeballs (slogan: "A Being of Vision"). The truth is, you don't know WHAT will happen to your ballot, because you might be using one of the new electronic voting machines. These are supposed to eliminate the screwups we had in the 2000 election, in which the ballots of thousands of Florida voters were not counted because, due to poor design, many Floridians have the intelligence of a sugar beet. No, sorry, what I mean is: The ballot was too complicated! There were names and chads, and to figure out which name went with which chad, you had to follow an arrow, and ... Whew! As a Floridian, I'm getting a headache just THINKING about how complicated it was! So this year many states are switching to electronic voting machines, which use computer technology - the same foolproof technology we use in the newspaper industry to (%$(AT)!(AT)hkjhou((7%$ERROR ERROR DELETING EVERYTHING FROM DAWN OF TIME Whoops! It turns out that things CAN go wrong with computer technology. One big concern is that electronic voting machines could be tampered with by "hackers," as was the case recently when an 11-year-old New Jersey boy named Jason Feeblehonker, using only his Game Boy, was able to get himself elected governor of both North Carolina and Wisconsin. (He's actually doing a decent job, although some state police officers are not thrilled about having to carry light sabers.) But aside from that, electronic voting machines are a great idea, according to people who make millions of dollars selling them. Here's how this "high-tech" voting system works: Inside the voting booth you'll find a "touch screen," which is a computer screen coated with a thin, invisible layer of germs left by all the people who voted ahead of you. When you touch this screen, tiny pieces of electricity called "electrons" go shooting into your finger, through your arm and into your brain, where they whiz around until they locate the name of the candidate you wish to vote for; they then transmit this information to Central Voting Command (located in India) along with any legally questionable thoughts you may have regarding terrorism, tax evasion or sexual fantasies featuring an armadillo and Wayne Newton. Electronic voting is fast and harmless, unless they get the voltage wrong, in which case an overhead sprinkler system will automatically extinguish any flames in your hair. So there's nothing to worry about! Remember: Before electronic voting was approved for use on humans, it was extensively tested on laboratory hamsters (87% for Dennis Kucinich). So that covers how you're going to vote. The other question is, who are you going to vote for? The best way to decide this is to watch TV ads, which present the issues with a degree of honesty, nuance and sophistication rarely seen outside of Vegomatic commercials: (On the screen, we see the CANDIDATE. Next to his face is the word "LEADERSHIP.") ANNOUNCER: "Leadership. It isn't just a word. It's a word that tested really well in our focus groups. And it's a word we want you to think about when you think about the candidate." (Now we see the candidate's OPPONENT, in an unflattering photograph that makes him look like the world's largest glob of earwax.) ANNOUNCER: "The opponent favors policies that could cause the Earth to rotate in the opposite direction, causing all life on the planet to hurtle into space and die. Is that really what Americans want?" Yes, voters, by the end of this campaign you'll be so well-informed you may flee to Paraguay. But I urge you to stay, because on Nov. 2, you have an opportunity to help choose the person who will lead this nation for the next four years: Jason Feeblehonker. --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Re: A tale of two woes.
On Sep 20, 2004, at 19:40, Lynn Weasenforth wrote: I can laugh now, but not when it happened. Those are *the best* stories... Like the time - at the Rome airport - when DH (American passport) was let through, but I (US "green card", which - I'd been *told* - was an equivalent but wasn't really, and a Polish passport. Valid, but without an entry visa) was kept on the other side. With a screaming 18month old (US passport; thankfully, we had the foresight to get him his own ) on the "let through" side, but all the diapers on mine... :) It was *really funny*, for years, when retold at dinner parties (the "punchline", after hours of phoning both embassies was - from the Poles: "sorry, but we've just won a major soccer match against the Italians yesterday, so our name's mud. You'll *have to* get it straightened out via the Yankees or not at all"). But it wasn't the least bit funny at the time... Then today, my other grandson decided to play with a lighter. It was matches in my day but, since I'm a smoker, DS was taught very early on to leave alone all things to do with fire (lighters, matches, cigarette stubbs, ashes). By the time he was 15 months old, he'd toddle up to any of those, point an accusing finger and say "kgh" (his version of "eek", denoting disgust). *Exactly* the same sound he used when he needed a diaper change... :) He still (at 27+) has the same facial expression when he "meets" one of my ashtrays, but I wouldn't be surprised to learn that, if he has children of his own, he'll tell them: "play with fire now, douse it while you're asleep", same as I was. And, since it seems to be true (most arsonists have also been bed-wetters), it's a good way to keep a child from experimenting with that particular element... Commiserations, all the same... --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] A tale of two woes.
Hello Gentle Spiders, Just decided to let all know my exciting (not) happenings. I can laugh now, but not when it happened. A couple of days ago, I decided to remove the glass door from our entertainment center, I figured I'd better do it before the grandbaby broke it. I loosened one screw and wham, I got it, right on my left foot. The glass didn't break but, my skin and my big toe didn't survive. :) Then today, my other grandson decided to play with a lighter. Well it's a good thing that I was planning to recover my bobbin pillow, because it is quite scorched. My daughter tried to whisper about it but, my DH, loudly said, "You had better tell her before she finds out on her own." Oh the sweet joys of grandkids. :) Well that's my story, and I am still giggling about it. Took my toe two days to stop bleeding. Today, I stubbed it on the coffee table, need to wrap it with new gauze. Oh well. Talk to you later, Lynn [EMAIL PROTECTED] Clarksburg, WV To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Luton Lace Treasury II
Just a note that as I am now unsubcribing from the lists, will anyone else who wants a copy of Sally Barry's Luton Lace Treasury II mailed to them from the UK, payable in GBP, please be sure to email me privately. Otherwise, I won't see your request. Likewise, if you notice such a request on the Lace list, would you be kind enough to let them know (I have already unsubcribed prior to departure for UK) Thank you, Best, Carolyn Carolyn Hastings Stow, MA USA To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] SP Thanks
Dear Kiwi SP, Your parcel to me arrived this morning. Whooow what a lovely selection of goodies you sent to me. NZ Lace Society magnet is already on the lid of my pin tin - I love all different badges, club pins etc. The napkins are always handy to have and I like the motif you chose for me. Notepads with Kingfisher the bird that is my favourite after the Puffin. The "book" is perfect and I will use it for my divider pins. It jogged my memory as I have one like this before all in wood with leather ribbons. This book/block is an old tradition from an island in my old homecountry. You hang the "book" above the door on top of the doorpost and if you can see the "book cover" from the outside stay away, if you can see it open you are welcome. On mine you can read glasses, false teeth and legs are all good friends on the side showing you are welcome. I can scan and show it to you when I know who you are. You gave me a really good idea for making Christmas presents - thank you Also how on earth did you know I was looking for a small soap!!! I need it for something else than washing myself and I will tell you about it after this SP months are over I think I will write too much here otherwise. Once again thank you very much ! / Sonja To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] secret pal thanks
Hi Secret Pal in Australia, Thank you very much for my parcel that arrived today. It was very good timing as today is my birthday and it was like having an extra birthday pressie !! I have to say that I have eaten the chocolate already !! I came in from work craving chocolate so couldn't believe my luck when I opened the parcel and there it was !! The bobbins are lovely and the kangaroo will remind me of my Australian Secret Pal. The address book is a very handy size and I love the needle case also. Many thanks once again, Anne Nicholas Hanworth, Middx. England To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] MSN instant messages
DH, very foolishly, chatted to someone he doesn't know, who contacted him this morning via MSN Instant Messaging. The person claimed they were from the Phillipines, and DH tends to believe people are who they say they are, unlike me. This person now knows at the very least that they have a live address, which could generate all sorts of things. But my worry is that they could also have our IP address and download one of these diallers or some other sort of nasty software. We're up to date on anti-virus software, but don't have a firewall - when I tried setting that up it stopped everything! We've got premium telephone numbers blocked, but not international as we do phone people in the USA and Australia. Has anyone else had this sort of thing happen? Any idea what they might have been up to? I'm quite worried. Personally I have nothing to do with Yahoo or MSN messaging services and switch them off whenever I'm using the computer. Jean in Poole To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] engagement bells
We have some exciting news. DD1 became engaged to her boyfriend last night. Congratulations, Yvonne! And best wishes to the happy couple! You're lucky they're not getting engaged after having had 2 daughters, like my stepDD!! At least she's now engaged to the father of the first daughter (14 years old...), so she's not creating a 3rd problem :-) I hope you had started on the lace veil already...You don't have much time. Helene, the froggy from Melbourne Find local movie times and trailers on Yahoo! Movies. http://au.movies.yahoo.com To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]