RE: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent
Sorry you're upset. If you really want to go make other arrangements. Has your aide ever had respite? Sarasota is a hike from NJ. As you know 200 miles in our area isn't measured in miles but time. I'm 16 miles from Manhattan and it takes me sometimes 1.5 hour to get into the city alone depending on traffic. Vent away, but when you combine significant other and care you're bound to come up with this issue and you can't fire him. You have nieces I believe who are old enough to do a weekend care? A neighbor, a friend? You're going to have to considered alternate plans as you and Pete age as well. maybe this is a nudge to remind you. I apologize for my bluntness but 42 hours is a lot of hours as many have been getting cuts in today's economy so your aide maybe concerned about his position. _ From: bobbie...@aol.com [mailto:bobbie...@aol.com] Sent: Thursday, May 07, 2009 6:08 PM To: quad-list@eskimo.com Subject: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent Hello my friends, You are the ONLY one's who will understand why I am upset. I realize how very lucky I am living in an apartment for the past 26 years and have a van that I can drive since 1980 and most of all my sweet Pete who is not only the love of my life, my best friend but also my full-time home health aid. Which brings me to why I'm upset? My youngest sister, DeeDee, lives in Saratoga, NY and she found a Bed Breakfast that is accessible and has a hospital bed in it and it's only 200 miles away. But Pete thinks 200 miles is to far to drive plus he would have to unload the van and then take care of me. I think 200 miles is not far at all especially if we share the driving and he will need to take care of me wherever we are. So, he has made up his mind, were not going. We have not been on any vacation since 1995! Pete is also concerned that he will not get reinstated as my full-time HHA, 42 hrs a week. Although I can understand his concern me as the client can request anybody and denie anybody.Bobbie _ Remember Mom this Mother's Day! Find http://yellowpages.aol.com/search?query=floristncid=emlcntusyelp0006 a florist near you now.
Re: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent Saratoga
Hi All, The trip to Saratoga from where we live only takes 3 1/2 hours, my 79 year old Mother just drove it yesterday alone, she drives up there few times a year. It is VERY HARD to find a place that has a hospital bed and I emailed them about renting a trapeze from a local surgical supply place. I can easily do half the driving. Last fall we drove half way to Saratoga, which is Woodstock, NY, and my sister drove down to meet us. My point I'm trying to make is if we drove 200 miles that day, up and back, and walked all around Woodstock why couldn't we drive 200 miles to Saratoga, spend 2 or 3 nights? Walking distance from the BB is a medium size old town of Saratoga which we have been to before many years ago. It is very wheelchair friendly and we can walk to town from the BB. My sister and Pete are very close, actually she is his favorite in my family. I believe his big hang up is being reinstated as my full-time HHA. But dose this mean we can never do an overnight stay anymore at all? The last couple of years have been VERY tough on us, either I've been sick or stuck in bed or he had trouble with a gallbladder that he had removed. In 2006 his Mother passed away and for years before that he was taking care of the both of us. I tried to express to him that we are both doing very well this spring/summer we should go while the going is good. Bobbie **Remember Mom this Mother's Day! Find a florist near you now. (http://yellowpages.aol.com/search?query=floristncid=emlcntusyelp0006)
Re: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent Saratoga
Why isn't there a worry about him not being reinstated as your full-time employee? Is your state having financial problems. Isn't that your decision. In a letter I received from a legislator that sends me e-mails regularly, there was a cut in money for disabilities but in what programs I don't know. We have to take advantage of times, when health is good in our life to do things we enjoy and I'm sure it would feel so good to just get away from your normal routine. It sounds like so much fun. Dana **A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps! (http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1221322931x1201367171/aol?redir=http://www.freecreditreport.com/pm/default.aspx?sc=668072hmpgID=115bcd =May5509AvgfooterNO115)
Re: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent Saratoga
I really dont think the 200 miles has anything to do with him not wanting to go. Its either the care hours or he just doesnt feel like bringing all the stuff to care for you to another place.People get stubborn and set in their ways. It would be nice if he could realize that youneed to get away and do it just for that reason. I feel for your situation as I have faced similar ones ron c7 --- On Fri, 5/8/09, bobbie...@aol.com bobbie...@aol.com wrote: From: bobbie...@aol.com bobbie...@aol.com Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent Saratoga To: missl...@optonline.net, quad-list@eskimo.com Date: Friday, May 8, 2009, 12:14 PM Hi All, The trip to Saratoga from where we live only takes 3 1/2 hours, my 79 year old Mother just drove it yesterday alone, she drives up there few times a year. It is VERY HARD to find a place that has a hospital bed and I emailed them about renting a trapeze from a local surgical supply place. I can easily do half the driving. Last fall we drove half way to Saratoga, which is Woodstock, NY, and my sister drove down to meet us. My point I'm trying to make is if we drove 200 miles that day, up and back, and walked all around Woodstock why couldn't we drive 200 miles to Saratoga, spend 2 or 3 nights? Walking distance from the BB is a medium size old town of Saratoga which we have been to before many years ago. It is very wheelchair friendly and we can walk to town from the BB. My sister and Pete are very close, actually she is his favorite in my family. I believe his big hang up is being reinstated as my full-time HHA. But dose this mean we can never do an overnight stay anymore at all? The last couple of years have been VERY tough on us, either I've been sick or stuck in bed or he had trouble with a gallbladder that he had removed. In 2006 his Mother passed away and for years before that he was taking care of the both of us. I tried to express to him that we are both doing very well this spring/summer we should go while the going is good. Bobbie Remember Mom this Mother's Day! Find a florist near you now.
Re: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent
Hi Bobbie, You are right, those of us on the Q-List are the ONLY ones that can understand why you are upset. There are more layers to Pete's feelings, than there is in an onion. Pete probably doesn't understand them all, but it's not just 200 miles, the care-giving, or the money. It has to be worked out by Pete until he sees that the fear he feels now, can be put behind him, and the two of you can have a wonderful weekend together. Give him the time, and your sweet Pete will make the right choice...for both of you. Stay strong. C-4/5 Complete 04/25/1976 - At the Age of 22 Wichita Falls , TX --- On Thu, 5/7/09, bobbie...@aol.com bobbie...@aol.com wrote: From: bobbie...@aol.com bobbie...@aol.com Subject: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent To: quad-list@eskimo.com Date: Thursday, May 7, 2009, 5:08 PM Hello my friends, You are the ONLY ones who will understand why I am upset. I realize how very lucky I am living in an apartment for the past 26 years and have a van that I can drive since 1980 and most of all my sweet Pete who is not only the love of my life, my best friend but also my full-time home health aid. Which brings me to why I'm upset? My youngest sister, DeeDee, lives in Saratoga, NY and she found a Bed Breakfast that is accessible and has a hospital bed in it and it's only 200 miles away. But Pete thinks 200 miles is to far to drive plus he would have to unload the van and then take care of me. I think 200 miles is not far at all especially if we share the driving and he will need to take care of me wherever we are. So, he has made up his mind, were not going. We have not been on any vacation since 1995! Pete is also concerned that he will not get reinstated as my full-time HHA, 42 hrs a week. Although I can understand his concern me as the client can request anybody and denie anybody. Bobbie Remember Mom this Mother's Day! Find a florist near you now.
[QUAD-L] Officier Jim
_http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JylAq_8-qxo_ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JylAq_8-qxo) _YouTube - Paralyzed Ex-Cop Sells Applesauce Now_ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JylAq_8-qxo) Some may know Jim and others may know of Jim Mullins, Most of you guy and gals don't. Jim is a friend of mine and took something he loved and made a business from it. See for yourself. Best Wishes W **Remember Mom this Mother's Day! Find a florist near you now. (http://yellowpages.aol.com/search?query=floristncid=emlcntusyelp0006)
Re: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent
I have to agree with Dave here. There is probably some underlining issues which he has not yet resolved. I haven't traveled since 1998 and I know the last time I did it was really stressful on both of my caregivers. I wish you luck. I am thinking about taking a trip in the future, but I really dread all the preparation. For me it's difficult because I have to have a bed which afforded some room underneath so my Hoyer can adequately transfer me to the bed. Then again, the room has to be large enough so we can transfer me from my chair to the bed using the lift. I'm thinking about going up to Iowa. That's a heck of a drive from the Tampa area of Florida. We'll see. If I don't go to this year I'll think about next year. The gas prices are pretty appealing this year, who knows what next year will bring. Quadius On Fri, May 8, 2009 at 3:23 PM, David K. Kelmer ctrlaltdelakad...@sbcglobal.net wrote: Hi Bobbie, You are right, those of us on the Q-List are the ONLY ones that can understand why you are upset. There are more layers to Pete's feelings, than there is in an onion. Pete probably doesn't understand them all, but it's not just 200 miles, the care-giving, or the money. It has to be worked out by Pete until he sees that the fear he feels now, can be put behind him, and the two of you can have a wonderful weekend together. Give him the time, and your sweet Pete will make the right choice...for both of you. Stay strong. C-4/5 Complete 04/25/1976 - At the Age of 22 Wichita Falls , TX --- On *Thu, 5/7/09, bobbie...@aol.com bobbie...@aol.com* wrote: From: bobbie...@aol.com bobbie...@aol.com Subject: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent To: quad-list@eskimo.com Date: Thursday, May 7, 2009, 5:08 PM *Hello my friends,* * You are the ONLY ones who will understand why I am upset. I realize how very lucky I am living in an apartment for the past 26 years and have a van that I can drive since 1980 and most of all my sweet Pete who is not only the love of my life, my best friend but also my full-time home health aid. Which brings me to why I'm upset? * * My youngest sister, DeeDee, lives in Saratoga, NY and she found a Bed Breakfast that is accessible and has a hospital bed in it and it's only 200 miles away. But Pete thinks 200 miles is to far to drive plus he would have to unload the van and then take care of me. I think 200 miles is not far at all especially if we share the driving and he will need to take care of me wherever we are. So, he has made up his mind, were not going. We have not been on any vacation since 1995!* * Pete is also concerned that he will not get reinstated as my full-time HHA, 42 hrs a week. Although I can understand his concern me as the client can request anybody and denie anybody.Bobbie* -- Remember Mom this Mother's Day! Find a florist near you nowhttp://yellowpages.aol.com/search?query=floristncid=emlcntusyelp0006 . -- Quadius C2-3 incomplete 13 years post injury
Re: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent
I certainly hope you are able to make your trip. Good luck. Quadius
Re: [QUAD-L] I'm upset and need to vent
Hey Bobbie... I'm sorry to hear this is causing a problem. My wife and I travel often and I know how hard it can be finding a Nice place that meets our needs that isn't some chain hotel/motel (Days Inn, Marriott, Motel 6, etc.). It really IS those special and different places that can make even a short get-away one the more memorable ones. We travel by plane, mostly, but I drive us 5-6 hrs into Mexico every October for just a weekend on a beach with her (ok... OUR) family. We found a reasonably accessible row of condos and the family rents 2. We split the cost per person and then split up so it's a couple (or few kids) per room (or sofa or outdoor patio)! We also do trips where I'll drive about 4 hrs to a family member's cabin in the mountains in northern AZ. I do all the driving because my van is a little too customized for her to drive. When we fly, though, it's almost all her!! Transfers, the chair disassembly/reassembly, repositioning me when I get back IN the chair, etc... it's a lot! She isn't my primary caregiver at home. She gets me into bed and takes care of any wound-related issues. So, for each trip she needs to RE-learn how to get me up in the mornings... not always an easy task. And I'd be the first to admit I'm quite picky!! Now... as for Pete, I have to ask (because of how you wrote it): * Is there any specific connection between a potential trip and Pete being reinstated as your primary HHA? Or... * Is it the possibility of spending $$$ on a trip now and a fear he may not be able to continue with this current pay down the road? I know traveling is stressful. The preparation, the cost, the getting there, managing the time off (if any), the packing/unpacking/repacking/unpacking... and on and on. But I also know --as does she-- it is SO MUCH worth it for the break in the day-to-day crap. All that stressful stuff just sort of melts away when it comes to memories and we think about our time relaxing together or having fun with family. We tell people about our trips... not our hassles getting to from (mostly... except for the time my chair fell out of an airplane!). I sure do hope things will work out for you both. It sounds like you and Pete need a rest anyway. Thanks for trusting this Q-List Family for your venting. I'm sure you'll get plenty of sound advice and sympathies for your dilemma. Best wishes... Happy Trails! --Tod bobbie...@aol.com wrote: Hello my friends, You are the ONLY one's who will understand why I am upset. I realize how very lucky I am living in an apartment for the past 26 years and have a van that I can drive since 1980 and most of all my sweet Pete who is not only the love of my life, my best friend but also my full-time home health aid. Which brings me to why I'm upset? My youngest sister, DeeDee, lives in Saratoga, NY and she found a Bed Breakfast that is accessible and has a hospital bed in it and it's only 200 miles away. But Pete thinks 200 miles is to far to drive plus he would have to unload the van and then take care of me. I think 200 miles is not far at all especially if we share the driving and he will need to take care of me wherever we are. So, he has made up his mind, were not going. We have not been on any vacation since 1995! Pete is also concerned that he will not get reinstated as my full-time HHA, 42 hrs a week. Although I can understand his concern me as the client can request anybody and denie anybody.Bobbie
