[RollTideFan] TGIF Groaners - (non)

[TIDE1]

>
>
Subject: Solution for Republicans
>
>The Republicans should back off and 
let men marry men; 
women marry women, 
and totally legalize abortion. 

In three generations there will be no Democrats! 
. . . . . . . . . . . .
>
Subject: The Big Game  
>
>As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she 
>heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the 
>door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout 
>with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are 
>you doing?" The daughter replied,"Mom, I'm thirty-five years 
>old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever 
>get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone." 
> 
>The next day, the girl's father heard! the same buzz coming 
>from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering 
>the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to 
>her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the 
>daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, 
>and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a 
>husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.." 
> 
>A couple days later, the wife and daughter came home from a 
>shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, 
>and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the 
>family room. They entered that area and observed the 
>husband/father sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The 
>vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. 
>The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?" 
> 
>The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law."
. . . . . . . . . . . .
>
Prolly sent before... Can't remember what I sent last year. Obviously,
the game above is the UT (son-in-law) vs AU (the daughter) football
game.

RTR... Cheers -vo-  





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[RollTideFan] TGIF Groaners - (non)

[TIDE1]

>
Subject:    Whisper !!

A salesman is trying to call a client. The phone rings and their little
boy, in a whisper, says, "Hello."
SALESMAN:   "Is your mommy there?
LITTLE BOY: (whisper) "Yes."
SALESMAN:   "Can I speak with her?"
LITTLE BOY: (whisper) "She's busy."
SALESMAN:   "Is your daddy there?"
LITTLE BOY: (whisper) "Yes."
SALESMAN:   "Can I speak with him?"
LITTLE BOY: (whisper) "He's busy."
SALESMAN:   "Is there anyone else there?"
LITTLE BOY: (whisper) "The fire department." SALESMAN:   "Can I talk
to one of them?" LITTLE BOY: (whisper) "They're busy."
SALESMAN:   "Is there anybody else there?"
LITTLE BOY: (whisper) "The police department."
SALESMAN:   "Well, can I talk to one of them?" LITTLE BOY: (whisper)
"They're busy."
SALESMAN:   "Let me get this straight, your mother, father, the fire
department and the police department are all in your house, and they're
all busy. What are they doing?"
LITTLE BOY: (whisper) "They're looking for me."
. . . . . . . . . . . .

Subject: Moving to Michigan

Chuck was sitting in an airplane when another fellow took  a seat
beside him.

The new guy was an absolute wreckpale, hands shaking,  biting his
nails
and moaning in fear.

"Hey pal, what's the matter?"  Chuck asked.

"Oh  man I've been transferred to Michigan,"  the other guy
answered,
"there's crazy people in Michiganand they have  shootings, gangs,
race 
riots, drugs, the highest crime rate"

"Hold on" Chuck interrupted, "I've lived in Michigan all  my life and
it is
not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work,  mind your
own
business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as 
anywhere 
in the world."

The other passenger relaxed and  stopped shaking for a moment and
said, "Oh
thank you. I've been worried to death  but if you live there and say
it's OK,
I'll take your word for it. What do you  do for a living?"

"Me?", said Chuck, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread  truck in Detroit."
. . . . . . . . . . . .

RollSpartansRoll... Cheers -vo-





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[RollTideFan] TGIF Groaners (Non)

[TIDE1]

~ ~ HOG ~ ~

A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates. 

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks. 

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. On a trip to the Black
Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high- testosterone
bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her
alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most
heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over,
ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him,
"Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me.'" 

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" 

"Just a few minutes ago."



I know. "pretty bad".

Cheers -VO-



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