Fascinating how countries add a twist, in India's case one would say a
sprinkling of masala, to technology that they adapt.
http://india.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/15/on-facebook-so-are-your-future-in-laws/
On Facebook? So Are Your Future In-LawsBy SARITHA
RAIhttp://india.blogs.nytimes.com/author/saritha-rai/
Life and Love in the New
Bangalorehttp://india.blogs.nytimes.com/category/life-and-love-in-the-new-bangalore/
Tales of the ambitious youth in India’s outsourcing hub.
You would expect Spoorthi Gadde, 25, of Bangalore, who has a master’s
degree from a top-notch engineering school, to be out and about on social
networks — more so since she is single, tech-savvy and employed by a
leading outsourcing company.
Ms. Gadde is indeed on social networks like Facebook, but she has never
posted a status update. She sparingly uploads photos and seldom clicks on
the “like” button. She does not list “favorite” books, movies or
restaurants impetuously. If she did update her status, it might say,
“Waiting for an arranged marriage.” There lies the reason for her restraint.
When social networks intersect with India’s hoary arranged marriage system,
what you get is a generation of jumpy social networkers.
Ms. Gadde and thousands of eligible, young middle-class Indians are chary
for a good reason: Social networks in particular, and the Web in general,
have become the new snooping grounds for arranged marriages, marriages that
are typically orchestrated by parents or older relatives.
Poking about on social networks is now the preliminary investigation tool,
used on behalf of every client consulting for an arranged marriage, said
Puneet Kumar, the Bangalore-based director of Globe Detective Agency. “It
tells you so much about a person, their friends and their lifestyle,” Mr.
Kumar said.
Ms. Gadde is all too aware of the scrutiny. “On the Web, you don’t know who
is watching,” said the bespectacled, pleasant-mannered woman.
As her parents, who live in the smaller, more conventional Vijayawada city,
hunt for a suitable mate for her, Ms. Gadde tempers her social networking
activity. Frequent and impulsive status updates, she thinks, could be
misconstrued as some character flaw. “People so casually say ‘I’m feeling
low today,’ or ‘I bought an expensive dress,’ or ‘I was partying till 4
a.m.,’ but all this could reflect on one’s personality,” she said.
She looks for “respectable” photos to post, like one of herself holding a
teddy bear, which she currently has in her meager gallery.
Her single friends too strive to create a good impression for the benefit
of potential partners, their parents and relatives.
Half a billion Indians are 25 or under, and their usage of social networks
is booming. In fact, by 2015 India is expected to havemore Facebook
usershttp://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-05-31/the-future-of-facebook-is-in-india
than
any other country including the United States.
Just like everything else in urban India, there is a dichotomy, said Ashok
Lalla, a Mumbai-based digital marketer who refers to social networking as
young India’s “Five-to-Nine” preoccupation.
Many urban teenagers and 20-somethings display “inadvertent” social
networking behavior, said Mr. Lalla, author of “The Future of Digital for
Brands.” “They go with the flow, unthinkingly copying their friends, and
exhibiting an unguarded, sometimes inappropriate side to themselves.”
At the same time, many others suffer from social networking anxiety.
Erring on the side of caution is Murugesh, 29, a Bangalore-based software
engineer who did not want his last name revealed.
Mr. Murugesh, the protagonist in his family’s bride hunt, is ultra-careful
on social networks. “For example, if I post a picture holding a beer glass,
traditional-minded people will immediately conclude ‘this guy is a drunk.’”
He posts tame pictures like the one where he is posing in front of the
Statue of Liberty while on a work trip to New York. He refrains from using
popular acronyms like “WTF.”
“Trivial things on your social networking page can get magnified,” he said.
Another cagey social networks user is Mahesh K.S., who goes by only a first
name, as is common in southern India. Mr. Mahesh, 24 and single, logs in at
least once daily to catch up with friends.
But the only personal details on his profile page are generic mentions of
his engineering education and his programming job. The photos on his page
are outdated ones from his college days.
His friends load only “decent” photos on the Web because “they could be
posing for future in-laws,” he said.
On the professional front, Ms. Gadde and her peers are global
professionals, interacting with overseas customers, meeting tough deadlines
and traveling overseas for work. On the personal plane, they are rooted in
their families’ Indian-ness.
Ms. Gadde, for instance, wakes up to an unfailing morning routine of a
bath, puja (the Indian prayer ritual) and then breakfast. Her family frowns
on Western dressing.
An
