There ARE no Republicans anymore. These guys aren't Republicans!
D. Mindock wrote:
>I'd like to believe that not ALL Republicans are bad news. The
>dictionary below does fit the vast majority though, sadly. Peace, D. Mindock
>
>
>
>Subject: Republican to English Dictionary
>
>Republican-to-English Dictionary for those having trouble deciphering recent
>speeches and news reports:
>
>alternative energy sources (n.) New locations to drill for gas and oil.
>
>bankruptcy (n.) A means of escaping debt available to corporations but not
>to poor people.
>
>"burning bush" (n.) A biblical allusion to the response of the President
>of the United States, when asked a question by a journalist who has not been
>paid
>to inquire about non-issues.
>
>Cheney, Dick (n.) The greater of two evils.
>
>class warfare (n.) Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.
>
>climate change (n.) Progress toward the blessed day when the blue states are
>swallowed by the oceans.
>
>compassionate conservatism (n.) Poignant concern for the very wealthy.
>
>creation science (n.) Pseudo-science that claims George W. Bush's
>resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.
>
>DeLay, Tom (n.) Past tense of De Lie.
>
>extraordinary rendition (n.) Outsourcing torture.
>
>faith (n.) The belief that the Beatitudes (statements made by JC) include
>"Blessed are the rich" and "Blessed are the war-makers."
>
>free markets (n.) Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.
>
>girly-men (n.) Males who neglect opportunities to grope unwilling women.
>
>God (n.) Senior presidential adviser.
>
>growth (n.) 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens
>to the national debt when policy is made according to Definition 1.
>healthy forest (n.) No tree left behind.
>
>honesty (n.) Lies told in simple declarative sentences (e.g., "Freedom is on
>the march.")
>
>"House of Representatives (n.) Exclusive club; entry fee: $1 million to $5
>million (See: Senate).
>
>insanity (n.) See: staying the course.
>
>laziness (n.) When the poor are not working.
>
>leisure time (n.) When the wealthy are not working.
>
>liberal(s) (n.) Followers of the Antichrist.
>
>No Child Left Behind (riff.) There are always jobs in the military.
>
>ownership society (n.) 1. A civilization where 1 percent of the population
>controls 90 percent of the wealth. 2. A political system in which all power
>is in the hands of the owners.
>
>Patriot Act (n.) 1. Pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the
>terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of the
>reasons why they hate us.
>
>pro-life (adj.) Valuing human life up until birth.
>
>senate (n.) Exclusive club; entry fee: $10 million to $30 million.
>
>simplify (v.) To cut the taxes of Republican donors.
>
>staying the course (interj.[slang]) Continuing to perform the same actions
>and expecting different results (See: insanity).
>
>stuff happens (interj.[slang]) I don't have to live in Baghdad.
>
>[the poor (n.) losers who fail to avail themselves of the abundant
>opportunities of this Great Nation.]
>
>[truth (n.) something, sometimes called facts, that blocks reality as seen
>by men of unlimited vision & thus is to be denied existance]
>
>voter fraud (n.) A significant minority turnout.
>
>woman (n.) 1. Person who can be trusted to raise a child but can't be
>trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have a child. 2. Person who
>must have
>all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she
>wouldn't want to have sex in the first place.
>
>"War - except in self-defense - is a failure of moral imagination, political
>nerve and diplomacy." ~~ Bill Moyers
>
>Gabriel Palmer-Fernandez, Ph.D.
>Director, Dr. James Dale Ethics Center
>Professor, Department of Philosophy and Religious Studies
>Youngstown State University
>One University Plaza
>Youngstown, OH 44555
>Work Phone: 330.941.1465
>Fax: 330.941.1600
>__._,_.___
>
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