Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
On Sun, Jan 24, 2010 at 8:21 AM, ri...@happyleptic.org wrote: I don't know how to tell my procmail to discard completely off topic messages like these. It's been awhile since I used procmail, but I believe the recipe to add to your procmailrc is: :0: * ^From:.*commun...@lists.openmoko.org * ^Subject:.*\bOT\b trash # Save to a file named trash. Could use /dev/null. For those who use Gmail, here's an image of how to mute the conversation: http://imagebin.ca/view/2drcc4.html --Ben ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Thanks Ben very useful for me! P.S. Maybe you never read this email :D ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
P.S. Maybe you never read this email :D That's the problem with checking for [OT] : it doesnt tell how much off topic it is. Maybe we should establish new conventions, for instance : [RM] : Related mater [NCR] : Not completely related [OT] : Off topic [WOT] : Way off topic [MMI] : Speaking about me, myself and I So that we could configure procmail to accomodate slightly off topic subjects. I realize I'm feeding the very thread I urged the OP to close. I'm a very bad guy. ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
On Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:59:44 +0100, Ben Wong lists.openmoko@wongs.net wrote: It's been awhile since I used procmail, but I believe the recipe to add to your procmailrc is: :0: * ^From:.*commun...@lists.openmoko.org * ^Subject:.*\bOT\b trash # Save to a file named trash. Could use /dev/null. community@lists.openmoko.org appears in To rather than From. -- Alexey Feldgendler ale...@feldgendler.ru [ICQ: 115226275] http://feldgendler.livejournal.com ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: posting to a blog vs. this list (was: Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?)
30.66 km here ^_^ On Sun, Jan 24, 2010 at 5:31 PM, Sam Kuper sam.ku...@uclmail.net wrote: 2010/1/24 arne anka openm...@ginguppin.de what is that ruckus all about? OK Arne, I live approximately 50.5 miles from my parents' house by road, slightly less as the crow flies. How about you? Maybe we should all discuss the distance we live from our parents' houses, if you're so sure this sort of information is of interest to the list. Perhaps I should tell the list about my sex life too, and which friends I speak to about which issues. Or alternatively perhaps we should encourage that sort of discussion to happen off-list, since it's off-topic. I'm not trying to silence Brolin, just asking him to consider his choice of forum more considerately. Doing so will likely be to his benefit in the long run, anyhow, since in an appropriate forum, his personal progress updates and requests for personal advice would be generally welcomed, not just tolerated. That's likely to lead to less tense interaction on both sides. Over and out, Sam ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
I have been living alone in my apartment for 2 weeks. I used Google Earth’s ruler feature to determine my apartment is only 480 m (direct distance; road or walking distance is farther.) from my parents’s house. I have actually gone grocery shopping alone and need to go again tomorrow (on Sunday). I should have gone today (on Saturday), but I procrastinated. (fail) It is still hard for me to go to bed early enough to be well rested at work the next day, but I am improving. I think this is the 8th time I have moved in the almost 23 years since I was born. This is the first time I have lived away from my parents and the first time I have lived alone, though. I still have no female companion, but I wonder how much I really want one: if I really wanted one, why do I not try harder to find one? For example, I could actually attend the meetups in Vancouver for the dating/singles groups I joined on Meetup.com months ago, but I still have not attended any of them because I always make other tasks a higher priority. I know priorities are everything: if I do not make finding a female companion a high priority, it will probably not happen. Then again, though, only 3 years ago, I did not think I would ever fall in love, nor have a girlfriend, nor have sex, but all 3 things finally happened in 2007. :) Having sex is notable because I am not desperate enough to pay for sex and because living with my parents makes sexual relationships very awkward. These things may not seem very notable to some people, but they are very notable to people who know me well because I am usually too shy and self-conscious to try talking to my female peers. I also isolate myself from face-to-face/human contact with new people so much. I know there are many offline events for dating and shared interests, but I have to actually make attending these events a higher priority than tasks involving being alone at home. There are always things I want to do with my computers which I have to wait until I have sufficient free time on the weekend to do, but if I want to make new offline friends, I have to make attending these events a higher priority than my solitary tasks. My actions/choices seem to say I do not want to make new friends because I do not even try. It is not as if attending these events is so difficult for me: I own my own car, I can drive alone, I can legally use my GPS navigator in my car again (see below). As long as I can find parking, this makes travelling much easier than relying on others, including public transit, for transportation. However, participating in Internet communities from home is still much easier than travelling in the physical world. And yes, I realise this is probably because I am more comfortable with participating in Internet communities because I have so much more experience with this form of communication. I know we learn by doing, not saying, so I should attend many physical/offline events, even if I do not think they will interest me, to practise travelling in the physical world, but I still choose to stick with what I know best, which means isolating myself at home. I already have more experience than my closest friend I know offline, Andrew Williamson: I can drive a car with a manual transmission, I have kissed girls, I have been on dates with female peers, I have had sex, I have industrial work experience, even if I do work for my parents’s company, and now I am finally living alone and away from my parents. Of course, it would be satisfying and pleasing to have a girlfriend/lover who understands me well and can relate to me, who shares my passion for my computing interests, who is both physically and emotionally close to me and who wants to share her body with me to satisfy both of our (or at least my) desire for intimacy. Of course I have sexual desire/lust for girls, but I do not even have anyone with whom to share my desire for non-sexual affection, such as cuddling/snuggling, kissing, or even simply holding hands and/or staring into each other’s eyes. Again, these things may not seem so notable or hard to get for some people, but they are very notable for me because I am so shy and quiet/reserved. I was very close to my birth/biological mom Judy Patricia Reimer, but she died from breast cancer on 2002-10-03, when I was only 15. :(( That was the most difficult thing to ever happen to me. It still saddens me: I am literally crying for the first time in months because writing about her reminds me of how much I missed her after she died. :( However, I still manage without these things: they may be required for long-term happiness and satisfaction in life, but are not required for me to function in society. I received my Dell Vostro V13 laptop: I am using Mozilla Thunderbird v3.0.1 on Windows 7 Professional 32-bit on brolin-V13 (my Vostro V13’s hostname) to write this message. :) I love this laptop
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Can't you stop spamming this list ? ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
What about opening a free blog and write your thoughts/happenings there? You can post the URL here ONCE, so whoever is following you and/or willing to help will be able to continue. There is a reason there isn't a single global mailing list for everything. I hope you understand this. Don't ever bother to reply, I just tweaked a filter rule to ignore your posts more accurately. -- () ascii ribbon campaign - against html e-mail /\ www.asciiribbon.org - against proprietary attachments signature.asc Description: This is a digitally signed message part. ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
ri...@happyleptic.org writes: Can't you stop spamming this list ? Come on, just add a procmail rule or something if you do not want to see a nice guy improving! -- Be free, use free (http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/free-sw.html) software! mailto:fercer...@gmail.com ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
On Sunday 24. January 2010 13:38:27, Stefano Cavallari Cavallari wrote: What about opening a free blog and write your thoughts/happenings there? I think that's a good idea! Cheers, Fabian ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
posting to a blog vs. this list (was: Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?)
Fabian Schölzel wrote: On Sunday 24. January 2010 13:38:27, Stefano Cavallari Cavallari wrote: Why does your reply template include the quoted author’s last name twice instead of only once? Also, you should include the time zone/UTC offset because the quoted time of day is still in the future in the Pacific time zone (-08:00). :) What about opening a free blog and write your thoughts/happenings there? I think that's a good idea! I actually already have both a Facebook [1] and LiveJournal [2] account. I stopped posting to LiveJournal because I received almost no feedback except when I sent the URL of my posts to people via e-mail, IM, or IRC. I thought I could get more feedback by posting notes (not status updates because the length limit of those is too small) on Facebook, but I receive no feedback at all except when I send the URL of my posts to people. I have largely lost interest in Facebook because I lack an active (as opposed to passive) audience. [1] http://www.facebook.com/brolin.empey [2] http://brolin-empey.livejournal.com/ ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: posting to a blog vs. this list (was: Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?)
Brolin, You're clearly well-meaning, but ... 2010/1/24 Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be: Fabian Schölzel wrote: On Sunday 24. January 2010 13:38:27, Stefano Cavallari Cavallari wrote: Why does your reply template include the quoted author’s last name twice instead of only once? Also, you should include the time zone/UTC offset because the quoted time of day is still in the future in the Pacific time zone (-08:00). :) ... comments like these are OT in a thread that's already OT. Going that far OT is likely to annoy people on the list who are, for the most part, subscribers because they are far more interested in open source mobile technology than they are in the minutiae of your opinions about other people's email formatting. (Besides which, the full timestamp of any post to the list can be discovered via the list archive, if anyone is really fussed; so there's no need to police the issue.) What about opening a free blog and write your thoughts/happenings there? I think that's a good idea! I actually already have both a Facebook [1] and LiveJournal [2] account. I stopped posting to LiveJournal because I received almost no feedback except when I sent the URL of my posts to people via e-mail, IM, or IRC. I thought I could get more feedback by posting notes (not status updates because the length limit of those is too small) on Facebook, but I receive no feedback at all except when I send the URL of my posts to people. Lots of people seeking good sources of advice and support run into problems. Blogging's a reasonable start, but bloggers - both commercial and non-commercial bloggers - face the problem of fostering an active community of interest. OK, so you're one of those bloggers, like the rest of us. Big woo. Now get creative. Not by telling the OpenMoko mailing list how far you live from your parents' house, but by seeking more appropriate avenues. You want to get advice by asking people questions? Use an online answers service like Yahoo Answers or WikiAnswers, or use a more traditional offline alternative like a counsellor, a friend, or a relative. You want to make your blog more popular, so that you'll have a larger and more active audience? http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+to+make+a+blog+popular Good luck, and please, please consider the relevance of your topic to the mailing list before you post. http://catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html#forum Sam ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: posting to a blog vs. this list (was: Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?)
what is that ruckus all about? once in a while brolin posts a message about his personal progress -- always with the same subject and hence easily to be filtered by the mail client for those unable to do it by themselves while reading the subject already. the most traffic and the real annoyance are messages complaining about the ot-ness of brolin's posts. there are but a few who complain, and probably also but a few who are interested -- the vast majority tolerates his mails. so, please all of you complaining: use your head or at least your computer and ignore his mails in future -- but spare us the griping. ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
-[ Sun, Jan 24, 2010 at 03:46:04PM +0300, Paul Fertser ] Come on, just add a procmail rule or something if you do not want to see a nice guy improving! I don't know how to tell my procmail to discard completely off topic messages like these. But I feel a little ashamed to be rude in this case. So, let's end with a piece of advice to the OP : an intelligent brain is a good tool to be used against the outside world but is not designed to, and can even be destructive when used to analyze your own self. So make yourself a favor and stop giving so much attention to your thoughs, and get interrested in the outside world instead, which is much more interresting than any single individual. For instance study history, sociology, nature ; anything but you. Now come on people, there should be a reason why mailing lists are given a toppic in the first place. ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: posting to a blog vs. this list (was: Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?)
2010/1/24 arne anka openm...@ginguppin.de what is that ruckus all about? OK Arne, I live approximately 50.5 miles from my parents' house by road, slightly less as the crow flies. How about you? Maybe we should all discuss the distance we live from our parents' houses, if you're so sure this sort of information is of interest to the list. Perhaps I should tell the list about my sex life too, and which friends I speak to about which issues. Or alternatively perhaps we should encourage that sort of discussion to happen off-list, since it's off-topic. I'm not trying to silence Brolin, just asking him to consider his choice of forum more considerately. Doing so will likely be to his benefit in the long run, anyhow, since in an appropriate forum, his personal progress updates and requests for personal advice would be generally welcomed, not just tolerated. That's likely to lead to less tense interaction on both sides. Over and out, Sam ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
OT: gender-neutral English usage (was Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?)
Juan Lucas Dominguez Rubio wrote:
No we dont have a neutral gender in Spanish, but the Spanish for 'his'
and 'her' is the same ('su') so we don't have that problem:
'his/her Freerunner' == 'su Freerunner'
Spanish is still patriarchal, though: plural nouns are masculine unless
all the members are female.
AFAIK, German has a neutral gender in addition to masculine and
feminine, but I know even less about German than Spanish.
As for English, I prefer 'their' rather than 'his/her'.
I prefer to preserve distinction between singular and plural forms,
which means using “he/his/him or she/hers/her” for singular and
“they/theirs/them” for plural.
I wonder how
this issue was solved in the past. Such a usual problem must have been
solved centuries ago in the English literature, no?
It was “solved” in a patriarchal style by using masculine terms as
gender-neutral terms, which I think is wrong even though I am male. See
http://people.mills.edu/spertus/Gender/pap/pap.html.
And yes, this is totally off-topic,
Hence the “OT: ” prefix in the Subject. Why would anyone complain about
off-topic subjects in a thread clearly marked as off-topic? (fail) If
you do not want to read off-topic discussions, avoid reading threads
clearly marked as such!
and the where-can-I-meet-a-female
topic is totally ridiculous and bad taste
Why? Please support your claim. My question was not simply “Where can
I meet a female?”, but “Where can I meet a female *companion with
similar interests and personality /in person/?*” Did you even read my
original post in this thread? Please understand I do not intend to be
harsh and/or belligerent. However, I find your reasoning/logic faulty.
and I think the list
administrator (if there is one) should do something about it.
Such as? Are you suggesting censorship of a list about a project to
free the cellular/mobile phone? If yes, I find that highly ironic.
Even if the list administrator changed or removed this thread, it would
be too late because this thread has already been copied to many
unofficial archives and members’s mailboxes.
___
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community@lists.openmoko.org
http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
2010/1/15 Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be: Fabian Schölzel wrote: On Thursday 14. January 2010 22:15:16, Brolin Empey Empey wrote: I agree with you, Fabian. However, I think you should use “he or she” instead of using masculine pronouns as if they were sex/gender-neutral. I had a bad feeling when writing this. :) My mother tongue is german, so i think this is translated badly. In Germany, we have a phrase Jeder wie er mag., wich would be Everybody how he likes. in word-for-word translation. Would One should do as one likes. be better? Yes, or “One should do as he or she likes.”. Or use they: People can do as they like Each person can do as they like Everyone can do as they like In my view using they is the most natural form for he or she, and it seems to be very widely used for that now. Neil ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Hi Yes, or “One should do as he or she likes.”. Or use they: People can do as they like I usually use s/he. I wish there was a form for his/er (her/is), too... $2c, *-pike ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
2010/1/15 pike pike-openm...@kw.nl: Hi Yes, or “One should do as he or she likes.”. Or use they: People can do as they like I usually use s/he. I wish there was a form for his/er (her/is), too... There is. It's their. (I think that rather supports my suggestion; don't you?) Neil ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Am Freitag, den 15.01.2010, 10:04 + schrieb Neil Jerram: 2010/1/15 pike pike-openm...@kw.nl: I wish there was a form for his/er (her/is), too... There is. It's their. Difference is pike is using singular, you're using plural, Neil. Using plural just seems like a quick hack to me, the real bugfix would be to introduce a proper word for he/she, him/his, ... in the English language. I believe other languages have a third form which has no gender. Was it Spanish? (haven't read the whole thread, just my 2¢) Jan signature.asc Description: Dies ist ein digital signierter Nachrichtenteil ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
El día Friday, January 15, 2010 a las 02:04:07PM +0100, Jan Girlich escribió: Am Freitag, den 15.01.2010, 10:04 + schrieb Neil Jerram: 2010/1/15 pike pike-openm...@kw.nl: I wish there was a form for his/er (her/is), too... There is. It's their. Difference is pike is using singular, you're using plural, Neil. Using plural just seems like a quick hack to me, the real bugfix would be to introduce a proper word for he/she, him/his, ... in the English language. I believe other languages have a third form which has no gender. Was it Spanish? (haven't read the whole thread, just my 2¢) Jan All this is Off-Topic; please move to some English-Grammar or whatever list; Thx matthias -- Matthias Apitz t +49-89-61308 351 - f +49-89-61308 399 - m +49-170-4527211 e g...@unixarea.de - w http://www.unixarea.de/ Vote NO to EU The Lisbon Treaty: http://www.no-means-no.eu ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
2010/1/15 Jan Girlich vollk...@cryptobitch.de: Am Freitag, den 15.01.2010, 10:04 + schrieb Neil Jerram: 2010/1/15 pike pike-openm...@kw.nl: I wish there was a form for his/er (her/is), too... There is. It's their. Difference is pike is using singular, you're using plural, Neil. Historically, yes, they and their are plural. But in real current (UK) English, they are being used more and more also as gender-independent singular. That might sound surprising, but it is the case. Regards, Neil ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
On Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:32:58 +0100, Neil Jerram neiljer...@googlemail.com wrote: There is. It's their. Difference is pike is using singular, you're using plural, Neil. Historically, yes, they and their are plural. But in real current (UK) English, they are being used more and more also as gender-independent singular. This use has produced a singular reflexive pronoun “themself”, distinct from the plural “themselves”. -- Alexey Feldgendler ale...@feldgendler.ru [ICQ: 115226275] http://feldgendler.livejournal.com ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
On Fri, Sep 11, 2009 at 6:12 AM, Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be wrote: Hello list, Like most of the members of this list (AFAICT from the first names I recognise as sex/gender-specific), I am male. I am 22 and still live with my parents. I have never lived away from my parents. I am planning to hire a support worker to help me live away from my parents (I have another meeting later today) because I continue to indefinitely defer trying to live away from my parents. I named my form of procrastination “priority inversion” because what is, in practical terms, my lowest priority, becomes my highest priority. For example, I choose to spend my free time playing with my computers, including my FreeRunner, instead of learning about human biology and/or nutrition, which will affect me every day of my life, and at least trying to live away from my parents. When I say I play with my computers, I do not mean gaming: I almost never play games anymore. Even when I decide I want to play a game again, I spend all of my time reading about games, viewing screenshots and videos, and trying to decide which of the endless games I should play (or rather, obtain if I do not already have a copy and make work on my PC) instead of actually playing a game. I feel like I am always overwhelmed and/or overloaded with information and stimulation in the Too Much Information Age. I always feel like the NET Effect is that there is Never Enough Time because time flies faster than ever because I am always overthinking, overwhelmed with overchoice, etc. I recognise my mind is a word and pattern recognition engine, which is constantly adding new stimulations/experiences to its database. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but can function much better, at least in terms of interacting with people in person, than when I was in high school, for example. I used to often feel like I had social anxiety disorder because I would get so anxious and/or worried even when calling someone on the phone (on my parents’s landline because I did not have a cell phone until 2008) that I could not speak clearly enough for the person on the other end to understand me, so I would always have to repeat myself at least once for every turn of the conversation. I am a purist and have been called the most pedantic person in the world by Jamie Zawinski, of Lucid Emacs/XEmacs and Netscape/Mozilla fame. :) Imprecise usage and redundancy bothers me even if know what is meant from the context. For example, I am bothered by people mentioning a “standard” transmission in a vehicle (it is a manual transmission. Standard depends on the vehicle. Automatic is standard for some vehicles.), calling an LCD monitor (a flat *panel*) a “flat screen” (high-end CRTs have flat glass too!), common redundancies, such as PIN number, ATM machine, LCD display, people who assume all cars use crappy gasoline engines and use fuel-specific terms, such as gas station (it is a service station), gas tank (it is a fuel tank), gas pedal (it is an accellerator), gas pump (I have used a diesel pump at Shell that told me to “select octane” instead of “select ctane” (sp?) or “select fuel grade”. My car has a diesel, not gasoline, engine. I have been highly influenced by my father, Brian Empey. Brian is a Professional Engineer (Electrical Engineering). He founded Technical Solutions Inc. (Techsol) in 1996 with his second wife (my step-mom), Karen Empey (nee Schellenberg). Techsol is an embedded computer hardware company specialising in Linux on ARM architecture. I am very fortunate to be able to work at Techsol. I am a Linux + Windows System Administrator/Web master/IT person/general computer person. I think my responsibiles are more important than my title(s). I know I am very dependent on my parents, but at least I own my own car (which I bought from my dad), have a Class 7 driver’s licence (the Novice stage of the Graduated Licensing Program in British Columbia, Canada. I live in the Lower Mainland of British Columbia, Canada), my own credit union account, debit (Interac) card, MasterCard credit card, personal cheques (*not*checks!), which I almost never use (I think I have written a total of 3 cheques in my life), cell phones (Nokia 6103b + FreeRunner), PayPal account, domain names (brolin.be + others), Virtual Private Server (VPS), which hosts my personal Web site, PCs and peripherals, far too many original/boxed PC games, which I almost never play anymore, bicycle, ... I am definitely a relatively rich/wealthy person in Canada and extremely wealthy compared to less fortunate people in both developed and developing countries. I know I should not complain because I am very fortunate; I know my life could always be *much* worse, even if I lack much first-hand experience of how much worse it could be. Anyway, enough rambling. I need to finally address the Subject of this message (I hope at least 1 person actually
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
On Thu, Jan 14, 2010 at 1:15 PM, Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be wrote: This subject is covered in Ellen Spertus’s 1991 paper titled “Why are There so Few Female Computer Scientists?”: http://people.mills.edu/spertus/Gender/pap/pap.html Thanks for the link. Reading it reminds me of the time I was writing a paper which had many examples of computer users. For half of them I used female pronouns. I was amused and slightly disturbed that my co-author (from the Netherlands) fixed my mistakes by changing them all to male. --Ben P.S. To gmail users: Never want to see this thread again? Click More Actions - Mute. ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Ben Cadieux wrote: Hi Brolin, Just a few things to remember: 1. This list is public; these posts will remain available through search engines for quite some time. Yes, I realise this. I explicated this realisation in my original post: “Can anyone relate to me? What should I do? I know I have volunteered a lot of personal information in this post, but much of it is already publicly accessible for those who know my real/legal name and know how to use tools such as Google Search. I have been considering writing a post like this for months (maybe already 1 year), but I ended up stopping writing early because I felt uncomfortable about volunteering so much personal information. What do I have to lose, though? I need to stop being so self-conscious.” You have posted many details that may cause you trouble or embarrassment in the future. Can you provide some specific examples, other than saying I want to fuck Tamara, which should not surprise her since she already knew that? I know some people think I should not have mentioned her (full) name in such a context, but it is too late now. I do not think I have posted anything (very) embarrassing. I also do not think members of this list want to embarrass me. Most of the members who have replied appear to want to help me, not embarrass me. I guess you were probably referring to details which could cause embarrassment if read by someone who found them via a search engine. However, I am not concerned about embarrassment because I believe I have nothing to lose by volunteering the personal information in my previous posts. For example, I would not have met Alishams if I never posted my original message in this thread. 2. Think about what others need to know, or would like to know, before writing. Brevity both in writing and speech is important. You don't want to annoy or bore others with irrelevant information, nor seem boring by giving away all your thoughts. Brolin’s verbose mode is always on! ;) All the best to you and your endeavours :) Best Regards, Ben Cadieux I finally realised why your name seems familiar: you are the author of WDe. I e-mailed you about WDe in 2006. :) ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
omcomali@porcupinefactory.org wrote: On Wed, 6 Jan 2010 23:00:19 +0100 Fabian Schölzelfabian.schoel...@googlemail.com wrote: ---snip--- You also said, that he could run into trouble because of the things he writes here. Well, that may be. Myself i think, only people, that are not able to deal with that amount of info and openness, would generate trouble out of this writings. I don't really see, where one can be too open and honest about himself. Is that really possible? We are all human beings, why would we want to hide parts of our existence? Why would we want to let taboos about what to say and what not to say stay? If someone don't want to read some specific stuff, then he should go on and do not read it. If someone (in 10 years for example) will make decisions or estimations on the basis of Brolins writings here and now - well, as i said, that may happen. Often people say imagine they google you and don't give you a job. I would say: Gladly, Brolin don't have to work and talk with people, who are just lost in the age of information. I approach this in a slightly differrent manner. I believe that one should not be completely open to strangers and should leave some knowledge about him/her only to people he/she cares about. Being able to know someone more than others do is a gift you could give your colleagues (they know more then a stranger), your friends (you know some of your thoughts), your relatives (they know your daily life) and so on. I personally find it nice if someone shows that I'm important to her/him by sharing more of that knowledge with me. That are also a few other reasons to not talk about oneself that I won't share with Google's caches as Google is not someone I know ;) I do not think your approach makes sense because even my closest friends were once strangers. If I had never talked to Andrew Williamson in elementary school in 1995, we would probably not have become friends. One of us must have initially approached the other for the first time, though, and we are still closest friends 15 years later because one of us decided to approach someone who was a stranger at the time. Granted, we were 8 at the time: I guess children are less afraid of their peers than adults are afraid of their peers. I am now almost 23, but I am still too afraid and/or shy to talk to many strangers because I know nothing about them. I think online/virtual communities are a good way to learn about people before meeting them in person. This is how I met Alishams: if he had not written his long reply to my original message in this thread, I probably would have been less comfortable if I met him in person because I would not have known anything about him other than his sex, estimated age, and physical appearance. ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Fabian Schölzel wrote: Hi rhn, i understand your point of view. Everybody should do as he wish. But i think if somebody wants to give that gift to everybody, he should be allowed to do so, while others are free to say no thanks, i don't want to know. For my self, i think it is some kind of different to your way, but in the end, it comes out the same. The people that know me most, are the people i like most. That is so, because i spend more time with people i like, therefore i talk more with them than others. That is why they know more (or/and deeper). I would tell others the same stories and infos about me, in the same deepness - if they are interested. The topic and the deepness will change with the people and they're interests, of course. But then again, teh interwebs is different. One can be as verbose as he likes, and others can read what they like. I agree with you, Fabian. However, I think you should use “he or she” instead of using masculine pronouns as if they were sex/gender-neutral. This subject is covered in Ellen Spertus’s 1991 paper titled “Why are There so Few Female Computer Scientists?”: http://people.mills.edu/spertus/Gender/pap/pap.html ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
On Thursday 14. January 2010 22:15:16, Brolin Empey Empey wrote: I agree with you, Fabian. However, I think you should use “he or she” instead of using masculine pronouns as if they were sex/gender-neutral. I had a bad feeling when writing this. :) My mother tongue is german, so i think this is translated badly. In Germany, we have a phrase Jeder wie er mag., wich would be Everybody how he likes. in word-for-word translation. Would One should do as one likes. be better? Guten Abend und schöne Grüße! ;) Fabian ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Hi Brolin, Can you provide some specific examples, other than saying I want to fuck Tamara, which should not surprise her since she already knew that? I know some people think I should not have mentioned her (full) name in such a context, but it is too late now. I was referring to that comment more than most others. However, I am not concerned about embarrassment because I believe I have nothing to lose by volunteering the personal information in my previous posts. For example, I would not have met Alishams if I never posted my original message in this thread. I wasn't suggesting not posting at all, simply being more cautious :) I finally realised why your name seems familiar: you are the author of WDe. I e-mailed you about WDe in 2006. :) Hah! What a strange coincidence! I live in the Lower Mainland too, by the way. You mentioned difficulty talking to strangers. You were able to message me out of the blue about WDe - apply that example to your personal life. Find some common ground. Someone else mentioned volunteering to meet people. If you volunteer doing something you care about, you immediately have some common ground to start talking with other volunteers - they are likely there because they care about the same things. Best Regards, Ben Cadieux ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Fabian Schölzel wrote: On Thursday 14. January 2010 22:15:16, Brolin Empey Empey wrote: I agree with you, Fabian. However, I think you should use “he or she” instead of using masculine pronouns as if they were sex/gender-neutral. I had a bad feeling when writing this. :) My mother tongue is german, so i think this is translated badly. In Germany, we have a phrase Jeder wie er mag., wich would be Everybody how he likes. in word-for-word translation. Would One should do as one likes. be better? Yes, or “One should do as he or she likes.”. ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
On Wed, 6 Jan 2010 23:00:19 +0100 Fabian Schölzel fabian.schoel...@googlemail.com wrote: ---snip--- You also said, that he could run into trouble because of the things he writes here. Well, that may be. Myself i think, only people, that are not able to deal with that amount of info and openness, would generate trouble out of this writings. I don't really see, where one can be too open and honest about himself. Is that really possible? We are all human beings, why would we want to hide parts of our existence? Why would we want to let taboos about what to say and what not to say stay? If someone don't want to read some specific stuff, then he should go on and do not read it. If someone (in 10 years for example) will make decisions or estimations on the basis of Brolins writings here and now - well, as i said, that may happen. Often people say imagine they google you and don't give you a job. I would say: Gladly, Brolin don't have to work and talk with people, who are just lost in the age of information. I approach this in a slightly differrent manner. I believe that one should not be completely open to strangers and should leave some knowledge about him/her only to people he/she cares about. Being able to know someone more than others do is a gift you could give your colleagues (they know more then a stranger), your friends (you know some of your thoughts), your relatives (they know your daily life) and so on. I personally find it nice if someone shows that I'm important to her/him by sharing more of that knowledge with me. That are also a few other reasons to not talk about oneself that I won't share with Google's caches as Google is not someone I know ;) Cheers, rhn ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Hi rhn, i understand your point of view. Everybody should do as he wish. But i think if somebody wants to give that gift to everybody, he should be allowed to do so, while others are free to say no thanks, i don't want to know. For my self, i think it is some kind of different to your way, but in the end, it comes out the same. The people that know me most, are the people i like most. That is so, because i spend more time with people i like, therefore i talk more with them than others. That is why they know more (or/and deeper). I would tell others the same stories and infos about me, in the same deepness - if they are interested. The topic and the deepness will change with the people and they're interests, of course. But then again, teh interwebs is different. One can be as verbose as he likes, and others can read what they like. Cheers, Fabian ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Hi Brolin, Just a few things to remember: 1. This list is public; these posts will remain available through search engines for quite some time. You have posted many details that may cause you trouble or embarrassment in the future. 2. Think about what others need to know, or would like to know, before writing. Brevity both in writing and speech is important. You don't want to annoy or bore others with irrelevant information, nor seem boring by giving away all your thoughts. All the best to you and your endeavours :) Best Regards, Ben Cadieux ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Hi Ben, i think it is clear that you want to tell him this in a positive way, but it quite sounds like you think it is a absolute and inevitable law to act as you propose. Maybe you don't see it that strict and you just want to give him good advice. Well, it is right, that nobody wants to bore others with one's stuff and feelings - just because nobody has benefit from a monologue. But this is a mailing list and not a discussion with on or more persons face to face, and so you don't have a fixed number of listeners, nor have you direct feedback from their face or words. On a mailing list, you have as much listeners, as there are people who read the mails from Brolin just because they have interest. If there is only 1, that would be enough. Me for my self, i find a part of me in the thoughts and things Brolin describes. And i have interest. You also said, that he could run into trouble because of the things he writes here. Well, that may be. Myself i think, only people, that are not able to deal with that amount of info and openness, would generate trouble out of this writings. I don't really see, where one can be too open and honest about himself. Is that really possible? We are all human beings, why would we want to hide parts of our existence? Why would we want to let taboos about what to say and what not to say stay? If someone don't want to read some specific stuff, then he should go on and do not read it. If someone (in 10 years for example) will make decisions or estimations on the basis of Brolins writings here and now - well, as i said, that may happen. Often people say imagine they google you and don't give you a job. I would say: Gladly, Brolin don't have to work and talk with people, who are just lost in the age of information. I don't know if i am expressing my self correct, as english is not my mother tongue. What i want to say is: If more people are more open and honest and tell others about themselves, the only thing that happens is, that we get to know each other better and better. In my opinion, it can in no way be a good advice, to not say what you want to say. Hm, i hope i made my self understandable. Please ask me, if not. Cheers, Fabian ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
2009/11/30 Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be: 2009/11/12 Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be Hello list, I am writing a follow-up/update to my original post just over 2 months later. What has changed since my original post? Another update. What has changed since my last update? I finally chose and ordered a laptop (a Dell Vostro V13) so I can use the same PC at home and work. Of course, I am already regretting my choice, but at least I chose something. I always seem to regret my computer purchases. I have started moving most of the crap I am packratting to my new apartment. I have to wait until Sat, 2010-01-09 to move my furniture because that is when I planned to have my sister and friend help me. I am afraid I am going to be even lonelier living alone instead of with my parents, but at least I will have more privacy. I am also afraid I am going to starve because I dislike having to stop what I am doing to buy food, prepare meals, clean up after meals, etc. Food preparation does not interest me because the results seem so extremely ephemeral. I am an intellectual and emotional animal (person) who wants to understand himself by self-study and communication without having to (what seems like) always worry about eating because my mind is embodied in the body of an animal, which I do not understand. I really wish I did not have to eat because it would make my life so much easier. I do not know how to describe my mental state properly, but I always seem to be seeking an answer which cannot be found. I know, this sounds like Neo in The Matrix. :P I wonder if my mental processes are really so unusual because they usually seem strange to me. I am still lonely because I have no female companion, but at least I have my male friends, even if I rarely meet them in person. I know I have to try new things (go to unfamiliar events and/or places) to meet girls, but I have been isolating myself more again because that is how I am. I do not know what is wrong with me, but I end up making myself so lonely because I am so inclined to isolate myself. My parents and teachers have noticed my lack of (face-to-face/in person) peer interaction and have been concerned about it since elementary/primary school. I do not understand how non-autistic people can seem to function so much better than me and easily have more close friendships than me. ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
I think making a list and talking to a therapist will help. I am currently seeing an advisor from my university for roughly the same reasons as you. She usually offers me different points of view on my tasks and actions, and this seems helpful. For social interaction, I was going to archery club but I was simply shooting alone. Then I tried the computer geeks club, it seemed to work out, but being an international student I have a language barrier and that makes things harder. Dance classes are excellent places to meet people(not necessarily for dating) but my body coordination so poor that I ended up feeling retarded because I can't do three things at once(follow the steps + follow hand moves + shake hips). I can concentrate at most two of those at once. Sorry for being so disorganised, I always have trouble sorting my thoughts in a comprehensible manner. Atilla On Mon, Nov 30, 2009 at 11:47 PM, Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be wrote: 2009/11/12 Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be Hello list, I am writing a follow-up/update to my original post just over 2 months later. What has changed since my original post? Another update. What has changed since my last update? 1. I stopped hiring Dave McCormick because I did not want to spend so much money when I did not even know what to have him help me with. 2. I signed a tenancy agreement to rent a 1-bedroom apartment in Ladner Village: my tenancy begins on 2010-01-01. Of course, I am already having regrets because I am afraid the apartment is too small, it has electric heating, it is on the 3rd floor but there is no elevator, I do not know where I will store my bicycle even though I almost never use it any more, ... Oh well, at least I chose something. It could be much worse. 3. I finally upgraded my FreeRunner from QtMoko v11 to v14. That was a huge hassle (because I had to manually back up my QtMoko v11 installation, reflash QtMoko v14, then restore everything I needed from my backup) and took at least 8 hours over 1 weekend, but it was worth it because the video is much more responsive with QtMoko v14 than v11. QX still does not seem to work, though: I still always end up having to remove my FreeRunner’s battery after trying to use QX because my FreeRunner becomes unusable. (fail) Debian needs to update the version of mc in lenny/stable because their current version has a regression which prevents mc from listing the contents of some tar archives, including the one I made to back up my QtMoko v11 installation. (fail) 4. I still have not bought a MicroSDHC card so I still cannot install plain Debian so I still do not have a working X server so I still cannot run Navit, but my parents gave me a Garmin nuvi 755T road navigiation system (commonly and very imprecisely called “a GPS”), so I at least have a working road navigation system for now. I used the nuvi 755T to drive to work today: it seems to work OK, but the text-to-speech (TTS) engine is poor: it sounds very mechanical and would probably never be mistaken for a real human voice. I have heard much better TTS voices, but I cannot remember their names so I cannot cite any examples. 5. I have actually used Xubuntu 9.10 at work (it is *so* stable: it has unexpectedly locked up only once so far! :P), but still not Ubuntu 9.10 nor Kubuntu 9.10. Of course, making Xorg use 16-bit colour depth instead of the default 24-bit so the 4 MiB video card can drive a 17 LCD monitor at its native 1280x1024 mode was a huge hassle involving hours of playing (experimenting) with *xorg.conf*, checking *Xorg.0.log*, comparing and copying from *xorg.conf*s on other PCs with the same model of LCD monitor, ... 6. I actually messaged one of the people (Janet) from the Ubuntu Vancouver LoCo, but she still has not replied and I have not met her since I messaged her. 7. I bought a used Canon PowerShot G6 for about 275 CAD including shipping via an eBay auction because I did not want to spend 550 CAD on a new PowerShot G11 (the current model), which will be worth less than half that in 5 years or less. Of course, I am already having regrets, but I probably would have regretted buying a G11 too because the G6 is sufficient. I am still constantly overthinking, obsessing, overwhelmed with ambivalence, indecision, and too much information. I still have no female companion. I have no close friends in Ladner other than maybe Miles Husoy, but I have not even seen him for months. I am not surprised, though, because I continue to isolate myself. I always feel like I have too much crap to do but I still lay in my bed at home and inevitably fall alseep because I am tired of overthinking and obsessing and am too ambivalent to do some of the endless things I should be doing. Now I have to prepare for my Class 5 passenger
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
2009/12/1 Atilla Filiz atilla.fi...@gmail.com I think making a list and talking to a therapist will help. I am currently seeing an advisor from my university for roughly the same reasons as you. She usually offers me different points of view on my tasks and actions, and this seems helpful. For social interaction, I was going to archery club but I was simply shooting alone. Then I tried the computer geeks club, it seemed to work out, but being an international student I have a language barrier and that makes things harder. Dance classes are excellent places to meet people(not necessarily for dating) but my body coordination so poor that I ended up feeling retarded because I can't do three things at once(follow the steps + follow hand moves + shake hips). I can concentrate at most two of those at once. Sorry for being so disorganised, I always have trouble sorting my thoughts in a comprehensible manner. Atilla Try joining couchsurfing.org. This is a place where you can meet a lot of people of different kinds. Also great if you like traveling. ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
2009/11/12 Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be Hello list, I am writing a follow-up/update to my original post just over 2 months later. What has changed since my original post? Another update. What has changed since my last update? 1. I stopped hiring Dave McCormick because I did not want to spend so much money when I did not even know what to have him help me with. 2. I signed a tenancy agreement to rent a 1-bedroom apartment in Ladner Village: my tenancy begins on 2010-01-01. Of course, I am already having regrets because I am afraid the apartment is too small, it has electric heating, it is on the 3rd floor but there is no elevator, I do not know where I will store my bicycle even though I almost never use it any more, ... Oh well, at least I chose something. It could be much worse. 3. I finally upgraded my FreeRunner from QtMoko v11 to v14. That was a huge hassle (because I had to manually back up my QtMoko v11 installation, reflash QtMoko v14, then restore everything I needed from my backup) and took at least 8 hours over 1 weekend, but it was worth it because the video is much more responsive with QtMoko v14 than v11. QX still does not seem to work, though: I still always end up having to remove my FreeRunner’s battery after trying to use QX because my FreeRunner becomes unusable. (fail) Debian needs to update the version of mc in lenny/stable because their current version has a regression which prevents mc from listing the contents of some tar archives, including the one I made to back up my QtMoko v11 installation. (fail) 4. I still have not bought a MicroSDHC card so I still cannot install plain Debian so I still do not have a working X server so I still cannot run Navit, but my parents gave me a Garmin nuvi 755T road navigiation system (commonly and very imprecisely called “a GPS”), so I at least have a working road navigation system for now. I used the nuvi 755T to drive to work today: it seems to work OK, but the text-to-speech (TTS) engine is poor: it sounds very mechanical and would probably never be mistaken for a real human voice. I have heard much better TTS voices, but I cannot remember their names so I cannot cite any examples. 5. I have actually used Xubuntu 9.10 at work (it is *so* stable: it has unexpectedly locked up only once so far! :P), but still not Ubuntu 9.10 nor Kubuntu 9.10. Of course, making Xorg use 16-bit colour depth instead of the default 24-bit so the 4 MiB video card can drive a 17 LCD monitor at its native 1280x1024 mode was a huge hassle involving hours of playing (experimenting) with *xorg.conf*, checking *Xorg.0.log*, comparing and copying from *xorg.conf*s on other PCs with the same model of LCD monitor, ... 6. I actually messaged one of the people (Janet) from the Ubuntu Vancouver LoCo, but she still has not replied and I have not met her since I messaged her. 7. I bought a used Canon PowerShot G6 for about 275 CAD including shipping via an eBay auction because I did not want to spend 550 CAD on a new PowerShot G11 (the current model), which will be worth less than half that in 5 years or less. Of course, I am already having regrets, but I probably would have regretted buying a G11 too because the G6 is sufficient. I am still constantly overthinking, obsessing, overwhelmed with ambivalence, indecision, and too much information. I still have no female companion. I have no close friends in Ladner other than maybe Miles Husoy, but I have not even seen him for months. I am not surprised, though, because I continue to isolate myself. I always feel like I have too much crap to do but I still lay in my bed at home and inevitably fall alseep because I am tired of overthinking and obsessing and am too ambivalent to do some of the endless things I should be doing. Now I have to prepare for my Class 5 passenger vehicle road test on 2010-01-22 because there is a new and incredibly illogical law in British Columbia starting on 2010-01-01 that drivers with a Class 7 passenger vehicle driver’s licence, such as me, cannot use electronic devices, including road navigation systems, while driving because they are “too distracting”. Reality check: which is more distracting: looking away from driving to read a paper map or driving directions, or not looking away from driving because the road navigation system speaks to me so I do not need to look at its display? I do not use cell phones while driving because I know I cannot focus sufficiently on driving if I am trying to have a conversation with someone else in my car, so how could I have a conversation with someone via a cell phone while driving? I always pull over and stop before using a cell phone. Brolin -- Sometimes I forget how to do small talk: http://xkcd.com/222/ “If you have to ask why, you’re not a member of the intended audience.” — Bob Zimbinski,
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Hello list, I am writing a follow-up/update to my original post just over 2 months later. What has changed since my original post? 1. I hired Dave McCormick to help me overcome some of my indefinitely-deferred tasks. 2. I have actually overcome my priority inversion and started trying to find my own home, partly with Dave’s help. I had my first housing offer for a 2-bedroom basement suite in East Ladner, but declined because of the crappy laundry situation. I visited another basement suite and an apartment with Dave and applied for both, but did not end up getting either suite. I wanted to live with Andrew Williamson because he has been my closest friend I know in person since we meet at Kingsford-Smith Elementary School in East Vancouver in 1995, but Andrew still does not have a job that pays money. He has been given 2 laptops and an iPod as payment for his current job, but he does not want to live with me unless he can contribute to the rent, which requires income of money instead of used electronics. Anyway, I have to call the Resident Manager of an apartment complex in Ladner (the same complex as I visited, but a different apartment) later today to see if my application has been accepted. If it has, I can probably get either a 1- or 3-bedroom apartment. I want the 3-bedroom so Andrew can live with me, but I want to split the rent with at least 1 (probably only 1) roommate, so I will probably ask for roommates on Craigslist and/or Kijiji if I get the 3-bedroom apartment. I decided I was going to apply for a mortgage to see if I was even approved, but I never did. (fail) I talked to a lender at my credit union about getting a mortgage and said I would apply, but never did. (fail) “When all is said and done, (far) more is said than done.” is so true. I have not even contacted a realtor about buying a home either. I know I will never own my own home if I am renting, but this is the path I have chosen. Writing of choices, I have recently been overwhelmed with ambivalence: I know there are endless things I could learn and tasks I could complete, but I choose to lay in my bed and inevitably end up falling asleep. I lay in my bed because I want to fantasise/dream about having a female companion and because I am tired of driving myself insane with overthinking and speculating about what I could be doing instead of actually doing something physical/observable to someone else. 3. I registered for OkCupid, mostly completed my profile, messaged at least 4 of my female peers. Not surprisingly, none replied. I lost interest in OkCupid and have not used it much for weeks. I even found a thread in OkCupid’s bulletin boards/forums about other users (OkCupidians)’s similar experience, so at least I know it is not just me who is ignored. 4. I met Alishams Hassam at one of the Vancouver Hackspace (VHS)’s Open Nights. I got extremely frustrated while driving there because I got lost in Vancouver. I have only a paper roadmap, but I often turn the wrong way because I do not know which direction I am going. That reminds me: I completely forgot about buying a better compass for my car. I wanted to install plain Debian on a MicroSDHC card so I could use Navit on my FreeRunner. I got recommendations of MicroSDHC cards to buy from this list, but I have not yet made finding a place to buy the recommended cards in Canada a sufficiently high priority for it to actually be done. Oh well, at least I may eventually be able to navigate Vancouver without a GPS navigation system if I get lost enough times, but I hate being lost. We learn by doing, though: I wanted to give up multiple times while I was learning to drive because I was constantly stalling and could not even change lanes in traffic, but now I feel confident enough to drive even in busy traffic in Vancouver; I have not stalled for months either. I used to hate my car’s manual transmission, but now I love it because it is fun to drive; I think driving an automatic would be very boring. Anyway, to get back on topic: I enjoyed meeting similarly geeky people in person at VHS. It is novel for me to discuss technical subjects in person because normally I discuss them only textually. I hoped to make some new friends I could meet in person outside of the events where I met them, but so far I have not except for Alishams, whom I have met in person only twice but have at least communicated with via telephone (we both use Fido monthly plans on our US FreeRunners. :)). 5. I registered for the Ubuntu Vancouver LoCo’s Meetup.com group + some dating groups on Meetup.com, but I have not even attended any of the dating groups’s meetups. (fail) Many of the meetups are in Vancouver on weeknights, which does not work well for me because if they are like the VHS
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
On Thu, 2009-09-10 at 13:12 -0700, Brolin Empey wrote: Hello list, Like most of the members of this list (AFAICT from the first names I recognise as sex/gender-specific), I am male. I am 22 and still live I feel ya buddy. I'm born and raised in Vancouver and have had some of your problems on top of others. I'm fairly geeky, and have the same interests as you do (like everything from xkcd to the scene stuff- except maybe the computer music though electronic music one of my favourite genres. we'de make good buddies). I haven't had the best of luck with women, I'm fairly picky as it seems you are too. It's not easy finding women who share our interests, but there are things that have definitely helped in my life that I'm sure will be beneficial to you. First off, there is some general reading. A book called The Game by Neil Straus is an excellent starting point. Start digging into the pickup artist communities works- Mystery Method, David Deangelo, Zan (Vancouver guy too). These guys were all terrible with women at some point in their lives (or so they claim, most seem genuine though others are dubious) and they share what turned them around. There are many other names and good works, I'll be happy to give you more details if you want it. Do not take everything they say seriously, but they have lots of tips and analysis that can greatly aide you in social interaction. Read these books with an open mind, but I can tell you that they make sweeping generalizations about women that are not necessarily true for all of them. Mystery method will explain in great deal how to hold a conversation with a random person, it won't do everything but it essentially teaches how to converse. Give it a read, take what parts of his style you like, leave the parts you do not want to use but at least give it a shot. The times women have fallen for me, I have been confident, energetic and chatty. Never in my life has a women been attracted to me when I was tired (or just quite), un-assured, and dull. The other thing that killed my relationships earlier on was neediness. Being needy can kill any attraction *so* fast. This may not be a reflection on women, but rather the type of woman that I attract. It can be difficult to gain confidence and be energetic when you've spent most of your life being the exact opposite, but these are traits that come through self improvement. I would highly recommend Toastmasters for public speaking. This is an indirect way to shoot up your confidence- and you'll come out a great public speaker. Believe it or not, there are geek hangouts in Vancouver. Start volunteering and hanging out at Free Geek. They do ethical computer recycling (Commercial and Hastings area, freegeekvancouver.org for lots of info). There are like 1500 people in their volunteer database, and lots of girl geeks who volunteer (lots on a relative scale, obviously there are more males there at any given time). I've seen some attractive women at Van HackSpace, though I haven't been to too many events, http://vancouver.hackspace.ca/doku.php I've heard The Hackery is pretty fun too, how many women show up i'm not too sure, but I've heard girl geeks chill there. I don't know if you've done any post-secondary studies, but UBC and SFU are hotbeds for girl geeks. If you want to do the club thing, go to pit night at UBC's Pit Pub and start talking to random girls, girl geeks come in all shapes and sizes- some of them club too! Otherwise check out the more geek oriented events like the Computer Club. Since you like biking, start hanging out with the bike community. I'm not really a part of it, but I know on good authority girl geeks are part of it. Critical Mass takes place, I think the first Friday of the month, lots of geeky girls there. There's quite a few events that I can't think of off the top of my head, send me an e-mail and I'll keep you posted on what's going on in Vancouver. Know what you want in a partner. From reading your post it seems you want a long term relationship, but be aware of what you are actually looking for. If you just want to fuck, stop caring about interests and start hitting clubs, raves, random venues. Sexual attraction and having things in common are not mutually exclusive. You like computer music and there is a pretty decent electronic scene in Vancouver, you just have to know where to look. Yes, there are women who will have sex with you, even casual sex, despite any problems you think you might have. Know that drugs are usually a part of this scene and if you're not comfortable with that, it's going to seriously limit your fun. This is not for everybody and maybe you'll venture there in time. The last thing I can think of right now, and it is key, you *have* to talk to women. The only way you're going to find a girl with similar interests, besides blind luck or a friend who happens to know a women exactly like you, is by talking to lots of random girls. By random, i don't mean at the club or
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Hello Brolin, I showed your post to a few geek girls and asked them what advice they would give. I'm CC'ing the list with their (edited) responses because I have a hunch that there are more Brolins out there. Ben ___ Overall, my advice isn't profound - but simple. I would recommend he think about what things he likes that he can share with others. Surely there is some activity/event/gathering that he feels comfortable in - and surely there must be girls there. I am always amazed at the meetups that exist for all kinds of unusual interests. Generally, I feel (and have seen others) find it easiest to meet new people and open up when there is common ground. Amy __ I don't think I have any advice that is worth passing along to Brolin. He has Asperger's and will struggle with social interactions. It's not hopeless for him, but he needs to find a way to meet other women who have similar struggles as him. He needs to find someone who understands and admires his attention to details, for example. I think he probably already knows this, so I wouldn't have any new or different advice for him, unfortunately. I hope he is in therapy for his Asperger's and can learn to live on his own!! (That's step one. Girls and dating come after that.) I have a lot of sympathy for those on the autism spectrum because of my niece. Social interactions are so hard for them! Mary Beth __ [Commentary by Ben: I agree with MB that Brolin needs to find someone who admires the traits he has, but I don't think that it will necessarily be someone with similar struggles. It could be someone complementary, someone who will balance him. I know a few geek guys who have found that their soul mate is a spiritual, intuitive, earth-mother-type, well grounded in her body and emotions.] __ Wow. Two thoughts come to mind: 1) It sounds like he has no in-person friends. I think that you need to get the hang of friendship before you can have a romantic relationship. Also, once you have friends, some of them know geekgirls, and you can meet them that way. He might have good luck with local gaming groups or conventions (Comicon, Defcon, PAX, JavaOne...). 2) I'm not sure how well his Asperger's is being treated. That's going to be a prerequisite for a relationship, like hygiene. If he's always feeling overwhelmed and unable to make choices, there might be a medication that could help. Good luck to him. I realize it must have been very difficult for him to ask for help, and I hope he continues to try. Jina __ After reading Jina's email, it occurred to me that you probably could craft a nice email to him with some friendly advice. He definitely needs to be in treatment for his Asperger's. After a brief search on the internet, I found www.grasp.org which is geared towards adults on the autism spectrum. This site could help him find therapists or others who can help him. By sending his long email, Brolin has indicated that he needs help and that his life is not what he wants it to be. Getting treatment can help him live on his own and feel better about himself. And, getting better connected with support groups and adult autism networks, he might be able to meet a girl whom he could date. But, it's one step at a time for him. Treatment and support groups first, girls second. :) Mary Beth __ Hi Brolin, My friend Ben forwarded my your post, and I have many thoughts about it. Some are in direct response to questions you pose, and some are responses to what I perceive as the underlying context. If my perceptions are wrong, I apologize. Hopefully some of what I say will be useful to you. As a woman with a background in philosophy and computer science, I can definitely say that there are women who relate to your interests and personality. I am older than you, but there are women your age who love xkcd, and share your other interests as well. Are there as many women as there are men who overlap closely with your description? Unlikely, but that's not a problem. A good relationship is one where each person gets the other enough to appreciate them and relate to them, but where they can also learn from their partner's different interests and ways of thinking. So how do you meet women with whom you may be compatible? Well, it's a question of luck, but only in the sense that you make your own luck. On any given occasion when you try to meet someone, it may well not pan out, but the point is to increase the frequency of such encounters. Joining local groups which interest you, and attending local events is a good way to start. Online dating sites may be worth exploring as well, especially if you feel more comfortable expressing yourself via the keyboard.
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Hello Brolin, Wow. That's quite a bit of information. I have many thoughts about your specific endeavours, moving out, priority inversion, social anxiety, finding a geek girl, but I think there may be a broader, more important goal that you're missing. It occurs to me that you may find it helpful to learn moderation and appreciation of imperfection. Western culture doesn't have a long tradition of doing that, so I recommend studying Eastern philosophies. Particularly, Buddhism, wabisabi, and mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness meditation is the art of focusing one's mind on what is actually present now and letting go of thoughts. For example, try sitting still and just paying attention to the sensations in your body, such as your breath going in and out, without thinking, without judging. It's a lot harder than it sounds, but it is a skill that can be learned, and it can be valuable for people like us who can get lost in our head-space. --Ben On Thu, Sep 10, 2009 at 1:12 PM, Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be wrote: Hello list, Like most of the members of this list (AFAICT from the first names I recognise as sex/gender-specific), I am male. I am 22 and still live with my parents. I have never lived away from my parents. I am planning to hire a support worker to help me live away from my parents (I have another meeting later today) because I continue to indefinitely defer trying to live away from my parents. I named my form of procrastination “priority inversion” because what is, in practical terms, my lowest priority, becomes my highest priority. For example, I choose to spend my free time playing with my computers, including my FreeRunner, instead of learning about human biology and/or nutrition, which will affect me every day of my life, and at least trying to live away from my parents. When I say I play with my computers, I do not mean gaming: I almost never play games anymore. Even when I decide I want to play a game again, I spend all of my time reading about games, viewing screenshots and videos, and trying to decide which of the endless games I should play (or rather, obtain if I do not already have a copy and make work on my PC) instead of actually playing a game. I feel like I am always overwhelmed and/or overloaded with information and stimulation in the Too Much Information Age. I always feel like the NET Effect is that there is Never Enough Time because time flies faster than ever because I am always overthinking, overwhelmed with overchoice, etc. I recognise my mind is a word and pattern recognition engine, which is constantly adding new stimulations/experiences to its database. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but can function much better, at least in terms of interacting with people in person, than when I was in high school, for example. I used to often feel like I had social anxiety disorder because I would get so anxious and/or worried even when calling someone on the phone (on my parents’s landline because I did not have a cell phone until 2008) that I could not speak clearly enough for the person on the other end to understand me, so I would always have to repeat myself at least once for every turn of the conversation. I am a purist and have been called the most pedantic person in the world by Jamie Zawinski, of Lucid Emacs/XEmacs and Netscape/Mozilla fame. :) Imprecise usage and redundancy bothers me even if know what is meant from the context. For example, I am bothered by people mentioning a “standard” transmission in a vehicle (it is a manual transmission. Standard depends on the vehicle. Automatic is standard for some vehicles.), calling an LCD monitor (a flat panel) a “flat screen” (high-end CRTs have flat glass too!), common redundancies, such as PIN number, ATM machine, LCD display, people who assume all cars use crappy gasoline engines and use fuel-specific terms, such as gas station (it is a service station), gas tank (it is a fuel tank), gas pedal (it is an accellerator), gas pump (I have used a diesel pump at Shell that told me to “select octane” instead of “select ctane” (sp?) or “select fuel grade”. My car has a diesel, not gasoline, engine. I have been highly influenced by my father, Brian Empey. Brian is a Professional Engineer (Electrical Engineering). He founded Technical Solutions Inc. (Techsol) in 1996 with his second wife (my step-mom), Karen Empey (nee Schellenberg). Techsol is an embedded computer hardware company specialising in Linux on ARM architecture. I am very fortunate to be able to work at Techsol. I am a Linux + Windows System Administrator/Web master/IT person/general computer person. I think my responsibiles are more important than my title(s). I know I am very dependent on my parents, but at least I own my own car (which I bought from my dad), have a Class 7 driver’s licence (the Novice stage of the Graduated Licensing Program in British Columbia, Canada. I live in the
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Maybe this can close this off-topic thread. Here is a geek free dating service. http://www.plentyoffish.com/?dating=1freqanigclid=CJaHrpu_7JwCFVhh2godJDz1kg http://www.plentyoffish.com/?dating=1freqanigclid=CJaHrpu_7JwCFVhh2godJDz1kg On Sat, Sep 12, 2009 at 11:33 AM, Ben Wong lists.openmoko@wongs.netwrote: Hello Brolin, Wow. That's quite a bit of information. I have many thoughts about your specific endeavours, moving out, priority inversion, social anxiety, finding a geek girl, but I think there may be a broader, more important goal that you're missing. It occurs to me that you may find it helpful to learn moderation and appreciation of imperfection. Western culture doesn't have a long tradition of doing that, so I recommend studying Eastern philosophies. Particularly, Buddhism, wabisabi, and mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness meditation is the art of focusing one's mind on what is actually present now and letting go of thoughts. For example, try sitting still and just paying attention to the sensations in your body, such as your breath going in and out, without thinking, without judging. It's a lot harder than it sounds, but it is a skill that can be learned, and it can be valuable for people like us who can get lost in our head-space. --Ben On Thu, Sep 10, 2009 at 1:12 PM, Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be wrote: Hello list, Like most of the members of this list (AFAICT from the first names I recognise as sex/gender-specific), I am male. I am 22 and still live with my parents. I have never lived away from my parents. I am planning to hire a support worker to help me live away from my parents (I have another meeting later today) because I continue to indefinitely defer trying to live away from my parents. I named my form of procrastination “priority inversion” because what is, in practical terms, my lowest priority, becomes my highest priority. For example, I choose to spend my free time playing with my computers, including my FreeRunner, instead of learning about human biology and/or nutrition, which will affect me every day of my life, and at least trying to live away from my parents. When I say I play with my computers, I do not mean gaming: I almost never play games anymore. Even when I decide I want to play a game again, I spend all of my time reading about games, viewing screenshots and videos, and trying to decide which of the endless games I should play (or rather, obtain if I do not already have a copy and make work on my PC) instead of actually playing a game. I feel like I am always overwhelmed and/or overloaded with information and stimulation in the Too Much Information Age. I always feel like the NET Effect is that there is Never Enough Time because time flies faster than ever because I am always overthinking, overwhelmed with overchoice, etc. I recognise my mind is a word and pattern recognition engine, which is constantly adding new stimulations/experiences to its database. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but can function much better, at least in terms of interacting with people in person, than when I was in high school, for example. I used to often feel like I had social anxiety disorder because I would get so anxious and/or worried even when calling someone on the phone (on my parents’s landline because I did not have a cell phone until 2008) that I could not speak clearly enough for the person on the other end to understand me, so I would always have to repeat myself at least once for every turn of the conversation. I am a purist and have been called the most pedantic person in the world by Jamie Zawinski, of Lucid Emacs/XEmacs and Netscape/Mozilla fame. :) Imprecise usage and redundancy bothers me even if know what is meant from the context. For example, I am bothered by people mentioning a “standard” transmission in a vehicle (it is a manual transmission. Standard depends on the vehicle. Automatic is standard for some vehicles.), calling an LCD monitor (a flat panel) a “flat screen” (high-end CRTs have flat glass too!), common redundancies, such as PIN number, ATM machine, LCD display, people who assume all cars use crappy gasoline engines and use fuel-specific terms, such as gas station (it is a service station), gas tank (it is a fuel tank), gas pedal (it is an accellerator), gas pump (I have used a diesel pump at Shell that told me to “select octane” instead of “select ctane” (sp?) or “select fuel grade”. My car has a diesel, not gasoline, engine. I have been highly influenced by my father, Brian Empey. Brian is a Professional Engineer (Electrical Engineering). He founded Technical Solutions Inc. (Techsol) in 1996 with his second wife (my step-mom), Karen Empey (nee Schellenberg). Techsol is an embedded computer hardware company specialising in Linux on ARM architecture. I am very fortunate to be able to work
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
standard life and geek life are not so incompatible you only have to forget about sleep :P a married with a daughter geek and posible one/two more to come in short :) 2009/9/11 roguem...@roguewrt.org: On 11/09/2009 3:20 PM, ri...@happyleptic.org wrote: Keep beeing happy and stay behind your computer. Thats what I should have done from the beginning. Undoubtly a computer is a better person to live with. Be prepared to turn mad around the age of 30, though. Or inversely go insane from having so little free time to dedicate to your passion. Don't forget to add another maintenance checklist to action daily! :) ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community -- David Reyes Samblas Martinez http://www.tuxbrain.com Open ultraportable embedded solutions Openmoko, Openpandora, Arduino Hey, watch out!!! There's a linux in your pocket!!! ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Am Freitag, 11. September 2009 13.21:18 schrieb David Reyes Samblas Martinez: standard life and geek life are not so incompatible you only have to forget about sleep :P a married with a daughter geek and posible one/two more to come in short :) yeah, it works, but i understand the whish of a geek-girlfriend (hope i doesn't understand it wrong, i just flow over te text).. as example: i was tuning up the computer of my girlfriend one night, i was working on this from 00:00 until 3:00 and ask her next day if it's faster now.. she doesn't know, because it's not so important for her.. damn :p for some things like that, a geeky-girlfriend who's said wait, i started a benchmark or have you try to set the sse3-flags would be nice sometimes :p ...but it's also nice like it is... :) 2009/9/11 roguem...@roguewrt.org: On 11/09/2009 3:20 PM, ri...@happyleptic.org wrote: Keep beeing happy and stay behind your computer. Thats what I should have done from the beginning. Undoubtly a computer is a better person to live with. Be prepared to turn mad around the age of 30, though. Or inversely go insane from having so little free time to dedicate to your passion. Don't forget to add another maintenance checklist to action daily! :) ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
My personal experience as a soially disfunctional geek is typically avoiding people just to avoid awkward greetings with people I barely know, but have nothing to say besides simple hello. Moreover, I hate socializing on IRC or MMORPGs , talking with random people I will never meet. Mailing lists and newsservers are great as I can properly write(and receive back properly written) messages to(from) people I share common interests(OM group is not random people). Keep beeing happy and stay behind your computer. Thats what I should have done from the beginning. I don't agree with this. Life is full of adventures, and trying to speak with girls, and failing big time is one of them. I have a small number of close friends, and all the rest of my peers are either people I know through them or people I work with. I met my girlfriend at the university, she's not as geeky as me but we have small set of common interests(engineering, science fiction, technology ...). She was one of my friend's classmates. I was so shy that I told her I like her by typing on my cell phone and making her read it. And guess what, it worked! We are together for 7 years now. So go ahead and live your adventure, get your heart broken, repair it, and get it broken again. PS: I like off topic messages in groups like these as long as they are not very common and properly marked as OT. -- - Atilla Filiz Eindhoven University of Technology Embedded Systems, Master's Programme ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Too long a read. If your looking for a mate may I suggest okcupid.com I had quite a few dates off the site and it was free. I never found the one off that site but I could get maybe a date a week off the site and it was a lot of fun. I found my final date through a close personal friend just a months ago and this is the ideal way to meet someone. Learning to dance goes a long ways with most ladies and is a lot of fun. It could also be a way to meet someone I had been dancing for 3 years and gone on a couple dates that I met while dancing. The magic words I found to get a date where somewhere along the lines Dinner on me and I invited them on a dinner date stating I have more fun meeting them in person and that body language speaks a lot. :-) Good luck On Thu, Sep 10, 2009 at 2:12 PM, Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be wrote: Hello list, Like most of the members of this list (AFAICT from the first names I recognise as sex/gender-specific), I am male. I am 22 and still live with my parents. I have never lived away from my parents. I am planning to hire a support worker to help me live away from my parents (I have another meeting later today) because I continue to indefinitely defer trying to live away from my parents. I named my form of procrastination “priority inversion” because what is, in practical terms, my lowest priority, becomes my highest priority. For example, I choose to spend my free time playing with my computers, including my FreeRunner, instead of learning about human biology and/or nutrition, which will affect me every day of my life, and at least trying to live away from my parents. When I say I play with my computers, I do not mean gaming: I almost never play games anymore. Even when I decide I want to play a game again, I spend all of my time reading about games, viewing screenshots and videos, and trying to decide which of the endless games I should play (or rather, obtain if I do not already have a copy and make work on my PC) instead of actually playing a game. I feel like I am always overwhelmed and/or overloaded with information and stimulation in the Too Much Information Age. I always feel like the NET Effect is that there is Never Enough Time because time flies faster than ever because I am always overthinking, overwhelmed with overchoice, etc. I recognise my mind is a word and pattern recognition engine, which is constantly adding new stimulations/experiences to its database. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but can function much better, at least in terms of interacting with people in person, than when I was in high school, for example. I used to often feel like I had social anxiety disorder because I would get so anxious and/or worried even when calling someone on the phone (on my parents’s landline because I did not have a cell phone until 2008) that I could not speak clearly enough for the person on the other end to understand me, so I would always have to repeat myself at least once for every turn of the conversation. I am a purist and have been called the most pedantic person in the world by Jamie Zawinski, of Lucid Emacs/XEmacs and Netscape/Mozilla fame. :) Imprecise usage and redundancy bothers me even if know what is meant from the context. For example, I am bothered by people mentioning a “standard” transmission in a vehicle (it is a manual transmission. Standard depends on the vehicle. Automatic is standard for some vehicles.), calling an LCD monitor (a flat panel) a “flat screen” (high-end CRTs have flat glass too!), common redundancies, such as PIN number, ATM machine, LCD display, people who assume all cars use crappy gasoline engines and use fuel-specific terms, such as gas station (it is a service station), gas tank (it is a fuel tank), gas pedal (it is an accellerator), gas pump (I have used a diesel pump at Shell that told me to “select octane” instead of “select ctane” (sp?) or “select fuel grade”. My car has a diesel, not gasoline, engine. I have been highly influenced by my father, Brian Empey. Brian is a Professional Engineer (Electrical Engineering). He founded Technical Solutions Inc. (Techsol) in 1996 with his second wife (my step-mom), Karen Empey (nee Schellenberg). Techsol is an embedded computer hardware company specialising in Linux on ARM architecture. I am very fortunate to be able to work at Techsol. I am a Linux + Windows System Administrator/Web master/IT person/general computer person. I think my responsibiles are more important than my title(s). I know I am very dependent on my parents, but at least I own my own car (which I bought from my dad), have a Class 7 driver’s licence (the Novice stage of the Graduated Licensing Program in British Columbia, Canada. I live in the Lower Mainland of British Columbia, Canada), my own credit union account, debit (Interac) card, MasterCard credit card, personal cheques (not checks!), which I almost never use (I think I have written a
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
This site is completely free, worldwide, but mainly english speaking. Lots of fish of all ages and locations... http://www.plentyoffish.com/ Jeff Sadowski wrote: Too long a read. If your looking for a mate may I suggest okcupid.com I had quite a few dates off the site and it was free. I never found the one off that site but I could get maybe a date a week off the site and it was a lot of fun. I found my final date through a close personal friend just a months ago and this is the ideal way to meet someone. Learning to dance goes a long ways with most ladies and is a lot of fun. It could also be a way to meet someone I had been dancing for 3 years and gone on a couple dates that I met while dancing. The magic words I found to get a date where somewhere along the lines Dinner on me and I invited them on a dinner date stating I have more fun meeting them in person and that body language speaks a lot. :-) Good luck On Thu, Sep 10, 2009 at 2:12 PM, Brolin Empey bro...@brolin.be wrote: Hello list, Like most of the members of this list (AFAICT from the first names I recognise as sex/gender-specific), I am male. I am 22 and still live with my parents. I have never lived away from my parents. I am planning to hire a support worker to help me live away from my parents (I have another meeting later today) because I continue to indefinitely defer trying to live away from my parents. I named my form of procrastination “priority inversion” because what is, in practical terms, my lowest priority, becomes my highest priority. For example, I choose to spend my free time playing with my computers, including my FreeRunner, instead of learning about human biology and/or nutrition, which will affect me every day of my life, and at least trying to live away from my parents. When I say I play with my computers, I do not mean gaming: I almost never play games anymore. Even when I decide I want to play a game again, I spend all of my time reading about games, viewing screenshots and videos, and trying to decide which of the endless games I should play (or rather, obtain if I do not already have a copy and make work on my PC) instead of actually playing a game. I feel like I am always overwhelmed and/or overloaded with information and stimulation in the Too Much Information Age. I always feel like the NET Effect is that there is Never Enough Time because time flies faster than ever because I am always overthinking, overwhelmed with overchoice, etc. I recognise my mind is a word and pattern recognition engine, which is constantly adding new stimulations/experiences to its database. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but can function much better, at least in terms of interacting with people in person, than when I was in high school, for example. I used to often feel like I had social anxiety disorder because I would get so anxious and/or worried even when calling someone on the phone (on my parents’s landline because I did not have a cell phone until 2008) that I could not speak clearly enough for the person on the other end to understand me, so I would always have to repeat myself at least once for every turn of the conversation. I am a purist and have been called the most pedantic person in the world by Jamie Zawinski, of Lucid Emacs/XEmacs and Netscape/Mozilla fame. :) Imprecise usage and redundancy bothers me even if know what is meant from the context. For example, I am bothered by people mentioning a “standard” transmission in a vehicle (it is a manual transmission. Standard depends on the vehicle. Automatic is standard for some vehicles.), calling an LCD monitor (a flat panel) a “flat screen” (high-end CRTs have flat glass too!), common redundancies, such as PIN number, ATM machine, LCD display, people who assume all cars use crappy gasoline engines and use fuel-specific terms, such as gas station (it is a service station), gas tank (it is a fuel tank), gas pedal (it is an accellerator), gas pump (I have used a diesel pump at Shell that told me to “select octane” instead of “select ctane” (sp?) or “select fuel grade”. My car has a diesel, not gasoline, engine. I have been highly influenced by my father, Brian Empey. Brian is a Professional Engineer (Electrical Engineering). He founded Technical Solutions Inc. (Techsol) in 1996 with his second wife (my step-mom), Karen Empey (nee Schellenberg). Techsol is an embedded computer hardware company specialising in Linux on ARM architecture. I am very fortunate to be able to work at Techsol. I am a Linux + Windows System Administrator/Web master/IT person/general computer person. I think my responsibiles are more important than my title(s). I know I am very dependent on my parents, but at least I own my own car (which I bought from my dad), have a Class 7 driver’s licence (the Novice stage of the Graduated Licensing Program in British Columbia, Canada. I live in the Lower Mainland of
OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Hello list, Like most of the members of this list (AFAICT from the first names I recognise as sex/gender-specific), I am male. I am 22 and still live with my parents. I have never lived away from my parents. I am planning to hire a support worker to help me live away from my parents (I have another meeting later today) because I continue to indefinitely defer trying to live away from my parents. I named my form of procrastination “priority inversion” because what is, in practical terms, my lowest priority, becomes my highest priority. For example, I choose to spend my free time playing with my computers, including my FreeRunner, instead of learning about human biology and/or nutrition, which will affect me every day of my life, and at least trying to live away from my parents. When I say I play with my computers, I do not mean gaming: I almost never play games anymore. Even when I decide I want to play a game again, I spend all of my time reading about games, viewing screenshots and videos, and trying to decide which of the endless games I should play (or rather, obtain if I do not already have a copy and make work on my PC) instead of actually playing a game. I feel like I am always overwhelmed and/or overloaded with information and stimulation in the Too Much Information Age. I always feel like the NET Effect is that there is Never Enough Time because time flies faster than ever because I am always overthinking, overwhelmed with overchoice, etc. I recognise my mind is a word and pattern recognition engine, which is constantly adding new stimulations/experiences to its database. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but can function much better, at least in terms of interacting with people in person, than when I was in high school, for example. I used to often feel like I had social anxiety disorder because I would get so anxious and/or worried even when calling someone on the phone (on my parents’s landline because I did not have a cell phone until 2008) that I could not speak clearly enough for the person on the other end to understand me, so I would always have to repeat myself at least once for every turn of the conversation. I am a purist and have been called the most pedantic person in the world by Jamie Zawinski, of Lucid Emacs/XEmacs and Netscape/Mozilla fame. :) Imprecise usage and redundancy bothers me even if know what is meant from the context. For example, I am bothered by people mentioning a “standard” transmission in a vehicle (it is a manual transmission. Standard depends on the vehicle. Automatic is standard for some vehicles.), calling an LCD monitor (a flat *panel*) a “flat screen” (high-end CRTs have flat glass too!), common redundancies, such as PIN number, ATM machine, LCD display, people who assume all cars use crappy gasoline engines and use fuel-specific terms, such as gas station (it is a service station), gas tank (it is a fuel tank), gas pedal (it is an accellerator), gas pump (I have used a diesel pump at Shell that told me to “select octane” instead of “select ctane” (sp?) or “select fuel grade”. My car has a diesel, not gasoline, engine. I have been highly influenced by my father, Brian Empey. Brian is a Professional Engineer (Electrical Engineering). He founded Technical Solutions Inc. (Techsol) in 1996 with his second wife (my step-mom), Karen Empey (nee Schellenberg). Techsol is an embedded computer hardware company specialising in Linux on ARM architecture. I am very fortunate to be able to work at Techsol. I am a Linux + Windows System Administrator/Web master/IT person/general computer person. I think my responsibiles are more important than my title(s). I know I am very dependent on my parents, but at least I own my own car (which I bought from my dad), have a Class 7 driver’s licence (the Novice stage of the Graduated Licensing Program in British Columbia, Canada. I live in the Lower Mainland of British Columbia, Canada), my own credit union account, debit (Interac) card, MasterCard credit card, personal cheques (*not*checks!), which I almost never use (I think I have written a total of 3 cheques in my life), cell phones (Nokia 6103b + FreeRunner), PayPal account, domain names (brolin.be + others), Virtual Private Server (VPS), which hosts my personal Web site, PCs and peripherals, far too many original/boxed PC games, which I almost never play anymore, bicycle, ... I am definitely a relatively rich/wealthy person in Canada and extremely wealthy compared to less fortunate people in both developed and developing countries. I know I should not complain because I am very fortunate; I know my life could always be *much* worse, even if I lack much first-hand experience of how much worse it could be. Anyway, enough rambling. I need to finally address the Subject of this message (I hope at least 1 person actually read this far!). How/where can I meet a female companion *in person* with similar interests and personality? Someone who can appreciate my
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Soo offtopic. Tipp: look at gk2gk.com Personal opinion about this content: Stay where you are. Keep beeing happy with your computer and don't believe anyone who tries to make your live better. There were a lot of people who tried to make my life better and let me hurted in the rain behind. It is your live, your own live, and if youre happy when you sold and code and try new gadgets and create new things then do what you like. My self (developing OM for HTC-Dream right now) was happy with coding and solding and so on, until I began to wonder whats out there, in the world of the pizza man. A wonderful girl was the reason, a woman who is best described by every thing I could think of, when someone says the word perfection. Geeky, smart, funny, beautyfull. In short terms nearly perfect. But I didnt know how to express, how to act. The failures I made still hurt. I tried a few things to get in contact with people, but I found out, I didnt miss anything. I was too smart to interact with them. They became anoyed, some started to hate me. What if you get a girl, she remarks, that she cant control you, hurts you by leafing you, or she can control and manipulate you, and then youre not your self anymore... It hurts you anyway. My self came to the conclusion that I hate it to be human. Frankly I hate ubuntu because of one of the mainreasons is the comment under the name Ubuntu - Linux for Human beeings Yes I hate it, the life is a bunch of shit, when you take a nearer look. Keep beeing happy and stay behind your computer. Thats what I should have done from the beginning. leviathan -- David Lanzendörfer OpenSourceSupport GmbH Junior system engineer and supporter signature.asc Description: This is a digitally signed message part. ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Hi Brolin, I commend you for your openness and courage for putting yourself out there like you have. I've known a few guys with your particular traits and I sympathise. I imagine it would be very difficult to find your place communally, a lot of people don't understand how over-thought and considered every social interaction is for someone such as yourself. The guys I have known have found it very difficult to interpret body language which can scare off a lot of people, they've needed people who understand and are willing to educate them or at least tell them when something may be to their detriment. Most people won't say a thing, endure, then run a mile. Although it is possible there may be someone on this list who can aide you in your search, I'd suggest seeking out a support service with like minded people. Typing aspergers support forum mailing list into google reveals there are a few, though I can't vouch for any of them. I wish you all the best, I believe there is someone, and a place, for everyone. Good luck mate. Sarton On 11/09/2009 6:12 AM, Brolin Empey wrote: Hello list, Like most of the members of this list (AFAICT from the first names I recognise as sex/gender-specific), I am male. I am 22 and still live with my parents. I have never lived away from my parents. I am planning to hire a support worker to help me live away from my parents (I have another meeting later today) because I continue to indefinitely defer trying to live away from my parents. I named my form of procrastination “priority inversion” because what is, in practical terms, my lowest priority, becomes my highest priority. For example, I choose to spend my free time playing with my computers, including my FreeRunner, instead of learning about human biology and/or nutrition, which will affect me every day of my life, and at least trying to live away from my parents. When I say I play with my computers, I do not mean gaming: I almost never play games anymore. Even when I decide I want to play a game again, I spend all of my time reading about games, viewing screenshots and videos, and trying to decide which of the endless games I should play (or rather, obtain if I do not already have a copy and make work on my PC) instead of actually playing a game. I feel like I am always overwhelmed and/or overloaded with information and stimulation in the Too Much Information Age. I always feel like the NET Effect is that there is Never Enough Time because time flies faster than ever because I am always overthinking, overwhelmed with overchoice, etc. I recognise my mind is a word and pattern recognition engine, which is constantly adding new stimulations/experiences to its database. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but can function much better, at least in terms of interacting with people in person, than when I was in high school, for example. I used to often feel like I had social anxiety disorder because I would get so anxious and/or worried even when calling someone on the phone (on my parents’s landline because I did not have a cell phone until 2008) that I could not speak clearly enough for the person on the other end to understand me, so I would always have to repeat myself at least once for every turn of the conversation. I am a purist and have been called the most pedantic person in the world by Jamie Zawinski, of Lucid Emacs/XEmacs and Netscape/Mozilla fame. :) Imprecise usage and redundancy bothers me even if know what is meant from the context. For example, I am bothered by people mentioning a “standard” transmission in a vehicle (it is a manual transmission. Standard depends on the vehicle. Automatic is standard for some vehicles.), calling an LCD monitor (a flat /panel/) a “flat screen” (high-end CRTs have flat glass too!), common redundancies, such as PIN number, ATM machine, LCD display, people who assume all cars use crappy gasoline engines and use fuel-specific terms, such as gas station (it is a service station), gas tank (it is a fuel tank), gas pedal (it is an accellerator), gas pump (I have used a diesel pump at Shell that told me to “select octane” instead of “select ctane” (sp?) or “select fuel grade”. My car has a diesel, not gasoline, engine. I have been highly influenced by my father, Brian Empey. Brian is a Professional Engineer (Electrical Engineering). He founded Technical Solutions Inc. (Techsol) in 1996 with his second wife (my step-mom), Karen Empey (nee Schellenberg). Techsol is an embedded computer hardware company specialising in Linux on ARM architecture. I am very fortunate to be able to work at Techsol. I am a Linux + Windows System Administrator/Web master/IT person/general computer person. I think my responsibiles are more important than my title(s). I know I am very dependent on my parents, but at least I own my own car (which I bought from my dad), have a Class 7 driver’s licence (the Novice stage of the
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
Keep beeing happy and stay behind your computer. Thats what I should have done from the beginning. Undoubtly a computer is a better person to live with. Be prepared to turn mad around the age of 30, though. 8) ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
Re: OT: Where can I meet a female companion with similar interests and personality /in person/?
On 11/09/2009 3:20 PM, ri...@happyleptic.org wrote: Keep beeing happy and stay behind your computer. Thats what I should have done from the beginning. Undoubtly a computer is a better person to live with. Be prepared to turn mad around the age of 30, though. Or inversely go insane from having so little free time to dedicate to your passion. Don't forget to add another maintenance checklist to action daily! :) ___ Openmoko community mailing list community@lists.openmoko.org http://lists.openmoko.org/mailman/listinfo/community
