[FairfieldLife] Some of the embarrassing things believers pray to their God FOR
If this survey is anywhere near accurate, it looks to me as if believers (or American believers, anyway) are a bunch of hypocrites and slackers and vengeful psychopaths. At the very least, they're more honest with a telephone pollster than they are with their supposedly omniscient God. This is how many religious people are willing to admit to a pollster that they actively mislead God This is how many religious people are willing to admit t... A new poll has some surprising findings about Americans who say they pray regularly. View on www.motherjones.com Preview by Yahoo
Re: [FairfieldLife] Some of the embarrassing things believers pray to their God FOR
On 10/7/2014 6:56 AM, TurquoiseBee turquoi...@yahoo.com [FairfieldLife] wrote: If this survey is anywhere near accurate, it looks to me as if believers (or American believers, anyway) are a bunch of hypocrites and slackers and vengeful psychopaths /Now this is funny - an American guy that believes in the Tibetan bardo, Buddhas and bodhisattvas, karma, reincarnation, Hindu siddhis (super-normal powers) - is a hypocrite, a slacker, and a vengeful psychopath - who once posted a message to the Yahoo group threatening to nuke a discussion terrorist. Go figure.// // /Hypocrisy is the claim or pretense of holding beliefs that one does not in actual fact hold. It is the practice of engaging in the same behavior or activity for which one criticizes another. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypocrisy
Re: [FairfieldLife] Some of the embarrassing things believers pray to their God FOR
RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. —Ambrose Bierce (1906) From: TurquoiseBee turquoi...@yahoo.com [FairfieldLife] FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, October 7, 2014 11:56 AM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Some of the embarrassing things believers pray to their God FOR If this survey is anywhere near accurate, it looks to me as if believers (or American believers, anyway) are a bunch of hypocrites and slackers and vengeful psychopaths. At the very least, they're more honest with a telephone pollster than they are with their supposedly omniscient God. This is how many religious people are willing to admit to a pollster that they actively mislead God This is how many religious people are willing to admit t... A new poll has some surprising findings about Americans who say they pray regularly. View on www.motherjones.com Preview by Yahoo
Re: [FairfieldLife] Some of the embarrassing things believers pray to their God FOR
From: Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartax...@yahoo.com [FairfieldLife] FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com Sent: Tuesday, October 7, 2014 2:51 PM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Some of the embarrassing things believers pray to their God FOR RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. —Ambrose Bierce (1906) MORE AMBROSIA: CLAIRVOYANT, n. A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead. CONVENT, n. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the vice of idleness. DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters. DIVINATION, n. The art of nosing out the occult. Divination is of as many kinds as there are fruit-bearing varieties of the flowering dunce and the early fool. ESOTERIC, adj. Very particularly abstruse and consummately occult. The ancient philosophies were of two kinds,—exoteric, those that the philosophers themselves could partly understand, and esoteric, those that nobody could understand. It is the latter that have most profoundly affected modern thought and found greatest acceptance in our time. EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors. FAITH, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. GHOST, n. The outward and visible sign of an inward fear. HEATHEN, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel. HEAVEN, n. A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own. HEBREW, n. A male Jew, as distinguished from the Shebrew, an altogether superior creation. HOPE, n. Desire and expectation rolled into one. INFIDEL, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does. (See GIAOUR.) A kind of scoundrel imperfectly reverent of, and niggardly contributory to, divines, ecclesiastics, popes, parsons, canons, monks, mollahs, voodoos, presbyters, hierophants, prelates, obeah-men, abbes, nuns, missionaries, exhorters, deacons, friars, hadjis, high-priests, muezzins, brahmins, medicine-men, confessors, eminences, elders, primates, prebendaries, pilgrims, prophets, imaums, beneficiaries, clerks, vicars-choral, archbishops, bishops, abbots, priors, preachers, padres, abbotesses, caloyers, palmers, curates, patriarchs, bonezs, santons, beadsmen, canonesses, residentiaries, diocesans, deans, subdeans, rural deans, abdals, charm-sellers, archdeacons, hierarchs, class-leaders, incumbents, capitulars, sheiks, talapoins, postulants, scribes, gooroos, precentors, beadles, fakeers, sextons, reverences, revivalists, cenobites, perpetual curates, chaplains, mudjoes, readers, novices, vicars, pastors, rabbis, ulemas, lamas, sacristans, vergers, dervises, lectors, church wardens, cardinals, prioresses, suffragans, acolytes, rectors, cures, sophis, mutifs and pumpums. MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later. PANTHEISM, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything. PHILOSOPHY, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum. REVELATION, n. A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing. ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as, the Dalai Lama of Thibet; the Moogum of M'bwango; the temple of Apes in Ceylon; the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt; the Mufti of Moosh; the hair of the dog that bit Noah, etc. SAINT, n. A dead sinner revised and edited. SCRIPTURES, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. SELF-ESTEEM, n. An erroneous appraisement. SELF-EVIDENT, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else. SELFISH, adj. Devoid of
Re: [FairfieldLife] Some of the embarrassing things believers pray to their God FOR
/It looks like we can safely file these comments in the fluff folder. //Thanks. /On 10/7/2014 9:19 AM, TurquoiseBee turquoi...@yahoo.com [FairfieldLife] wrote: *From:* Xenophaneros Anartaxius anartax...@yahoo.com [FairfieldLife] FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com *To:* FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com *Sent:* Tuesday, October 7, 2014 2:51 PM *Subject:* Re: [FairfieldLife] Some of the embarrassing things believers pray to their God FOR RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. —Ambrose Bierce (1906) MORE AMBROSIA: CLAIRVOYANT, n. A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead. CONVENT, n. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the vice of idleness. DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters. DIVINATION, n. The art of nosing out the occult. Divination is of as many kinds as there are fruit-bearing varieties of the flowering dunce and the early fool. ESOTERIC, adj. Very particularly abstruse and consummately occult. The ancient philosophies were of two kinds,—exoteric, those that the philosophers themselves could partly understand, and esoteric, those that nobody could understand. It is the latter that have most profoundly affected modern thought and found greatest acceptance in our time. EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors. FAITH, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. GHOST, n. The outward and visible sign of an inward fear. HEATHEN, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel. HEAVEN, n. A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own. HEBREW, n. A male Jew, as distinguished from the Shebrew, an altogether superior creation. HOPE, n. Desire and expectation rolled into one. INFIDEL, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does. (See GIAOUR.) A kind of scoundrel imperfectly reverent of, and niggardly contributory to, divines, ecclesiastics, popes, parsons, canons, monks, mollahs, voodoos, presbyters, hierophants, prelates, obeah-men, abbes, nuns, missionaries, exhorters, deacons, friars, hadjis, high-priests, muezzins, brahmins, medicine-men, confessors, eminences, elders, primates, prebendaries, pilgrims, prophets, imaums, beneficiaries, clerks, vicars-choral, archbishops, bishops, abbots, priors, preachers, padres, abbotesses, caloyers, palmers, curates, patriarchs, bonezs, santons, beadsmen, canonesses, residentiaries, diocesans, deans, subdeans, rural deans, abdals, charm-sellers, archdeacons, hierarchs, class-leaders, incumbents, capitulars, sheiks, talapoins, postulants, scribes, gooroos, precentors, beadles, fakeers, sextons, reverences, revivalists, cenobites, perpetual curates, chaplains, mudjoes, readers, novices, vicars, pastors, rabbis, ulemas, lamas, sacristans, vergers, dervises, lectors, church wardens, cardinals, prioresses, suffragans, acolytes, rectors, cures, sophis, mutifs and pumpums. MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later. PANTHEISM, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything. PHILOSOPHY, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum. REVELATION, n. A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing. ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as, the Dalai Lama of Thibet; the Moogum of M'bwango; the temple of Apes in Ceylon; the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt; the Mufti of Moosh; the hair of the dog that bit Noah, etc. SAINT, n. A dead sinner revised and edited. SCRIPTURES, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. SELF-ESTEEM, n. An
