Re: [Lsr] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg-37: (with COMMENT)

[Acee Lindem (acee)]

Hi Alvaro, Co-authors, et al,
I went ahead and changed to “should” for the YANG deviations as well as fixing 
a couple typos and changing the draft short name from “isis-cfg” to 
“isis-yang”. The -40 version is posted.
Thanks,
Acee

From: Acee Lindem 
Date: Friday, September 27, 2019 at 8:30 AM
To: Alvaro Retana , Barry Leiba 

Cc: "draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-...@ietf.org" 
, "lsr-cha...@ietf.org" 
, "lsr@ietf.org" , Yingzhen Qu 
, The IESG 
Subject: Re: Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg-37: 
(with COMMENT)
Resent-From: 
Resent-To: , Derek Yeung , Acee 
Lindem , Jeffrey Zhang , Ladislav Lhotka 

Resent-Date: Friday, September 27, 2019 at 8:30 AM

Hi Alvaro,

From: Alvaro Retana 
Date: Thursday, September 26, 2019 at 7:18 PM
To: Barry Leiba , Acee Lindem 
Cc: "draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-...@ietf.org" 
, "lsr-cha...@ietf.org" 
, "lsr@ietf.org" , Yingzhen Qu 
, The IESG 
Subject: Re: Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg-37: 
(with COMMENT)
Resent-From: 
Resent-To: , Derek Yeung , Acee 
Lindem , Jeffrey Zhang , Ladislav Lhotka 

Resent-Date: Thursday, September 26, 2019 at 7:18 PM

On September 26, 2019 at 1:37:47 AM, Barry Leiba via Datatracker 
(nore...@ietf.org) wrote:

Acee:

Hi!

— Section 2.3 —
In the last two paragraphs of the section, one uses “should” advertise and the
other uses “SHOULD” advertise. They should either both be BCP 14 key words, or
both not.

In this case, instead of the change to “SHOULD” (which you made in -38), we 
need to go the other way: s/SHOULD/should

This is from my AD review:

- - - -
...
506   If an implementation does not support per level configuration for a
507   parameter modeled with per level configuration, the implementation
508   SHOULD advertise a deviation to announce the non-support of the
509   level-1 and level-2 containers.

511   Finally, if an implementation supports per level configuration but
512   does not support the level-1-2 configuration, it SHOULD also
513   advertise a deviation.

[major] "SHOULD advertise a deviation"  According to rfc7950: "Deviations MUST 
never be part of a published standard"; I realize that this document doesn't 
include one, but it Normatively recommends their use.  s/SHOULD/should
- - - -

I missed in -36 the fact that only the first SHOULD was changed.

You’d think I would have remembered that. I will make both “should” I the -40 
revision. -39 simply updated Stephane’s contact info to avoid bounces during 
IESG review.

Thanks,
Acee




Thanks!

Alvaro.
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Re: [Lsr] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg-37: (with COMMENT)

[Alvaro Retana]

On September 26, 2019 at 1:37:47 AM, Barry Leiba via Datatracker (
nore...@ietf.org) wrote:

Acee:

Hi!

— Section 2.3 —
In the last two paragraphs of the section, one uses “should” advertise and
the
other uses “SHOULD” advertise. They should either both be BCP 14 key words,
or
both not.


In this case, instead of the change to “SHOULD” (which you made in -38), we
need to go the other way: s/SHOULD/should

This is from my AD review:

- - - -

506   If an implementation does not support per level configuration for a
507   parameter modeled with per level configuration, the implementation
508   SHOULD advertise a deviation to announce the non-support of the
509   level-1 and level-2 containers.

511   Finally, if an implementation supports per level configuration but
512   does not support the level-1-2 configuration, it SHOULD also
513   advertise a deviation.

[major] "SHOULD advertise a deviation"  According to rfc7950: "Deviations
MUST never be part of a published standard"; I realize that this document
doesn't include one, but it Normatively recommends their use.
 s/SHOULD/should
- - - -

I missed in -36 the fact that only the first SHOULD was changed.

Thanks!

Alvaro.
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Re: [Lsr] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg-37: (with COMMENT)

[Acee Lindem (acee)]

Hi Barry, 
Thanks for your review - I've published the -38 version incorporating all your 
comments and Stewart Bryant's comments in order to avoid duplicates from other 
reviewers. I did take a pass over the document and added some additional 
articles. 
Thanks,
Acee

On 9/26/19, 1:37 AM, "Barry Leiba via Datatracker"  wrote:

Barry Leiba has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg-37: No Objection

When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all
email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this
introductory paragraph, however.)


Please refer to https://www.ietf.org/iesg/statement/discuss-criteria.html
for more information about IESG DISCUSS and COMMENT positions.


The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-isis-yang-isis-cfg/



--
COMMENT:
--

Thanks for the work on this YANG module.  My comments are all editorial, and
there’s no need for a response... please just consider these, as they will 
help
make the document clearer.

Throughout the document, please hyphenate the following as shown here:
per-topology basis
per-interface basis
per-level configuration
per-level value
level-specific parameter
interface-specific parameter
vendor-specific

When you use “like” to mean “such as”, it’s ambiguous: “like” can also
introduce a comparison, so does “fruit, like an apple” mean any fruit (and 
an
apple is an example), or are you talking specifically about fruit that is in
some way similar to an apple?  It’s better to say “such as”, to avoid the
ambiguity.  All instances of “like” in the document should be changed, 
*except*
for “encoded as a MAC address like” on page 35 and “would like to thank” in 
the
Contributors section.

Other, specific comments:

— Section 2.1 —

   The model implements features, thus some of the configuration
   statement becomes optional.

This is an odd sentence that I’m having a hard time understanding.  Do you 
mean
this?:

NEW
   This model includes optional features, for which the corresponding
   configuration statements are optional.
END

   By advertising the feature "admin-control", a device communicates to
   the client that it supports the ability to shutdown a particular IS-
   IS instance.

The verb “shut down” is two words.

— Section 2.2 —

   Some specific parameters can be defined on a per topology basis both
   at global level and at interface level

Apart from adding a hyphen in “per-topology basis”, you need “the” before 
both
“global” and “interface”.  There are many places throughout the document 
where
articles (usually “the”, but sometimes “a” or “an”) are missing.  Someone
familiar with the correct use of articles should take a pass through the
document.

— Section 2.3 —
In the last two paragraphs of the section, one uses “should” advertise and 
the
other uses “SHOULD” advertise.  They should either both be BCP 14 key 
words, or
both not.

— Section 2.6 —

   The goal of this empty
   container is to allow easy augmentation with additional parameters
   like timers for example.

As I noted above, you should use “such as”, rather than “like”, and you 
don’t
*also* need “for example”, because “such as” already has that covered.  So,
“...additional parameters, such as timers.”

— Section 2.8 —

   The "candidate-enable" allows to mark an interface to be used as a
   backup.

You need a subject for the verb after “allows” or “requires”.  It has to 
allow
 to mark an interface, and you can’t omit the .  So 
what
is it?

If there really is no sensible entity to put there, you can use passive 
voice,
‘The "candidate-enable" option allows an interface to be marked for use as a
backup.’

— Section 2.9 —
Throughout the section, “information” is a collective noun; we don’t say
“informations”.

— Section 4 —
The first four notification descriptions start with “raised when”, and the 
rest
start with “This notification is sent when”.  Please make them consistent, 
one
way or the other.

— Section 5 —

   Some IS-IS specific routes attributes are added to route objects

I think this is supposed to say, “Some IS-IS-specific route attributes are
added...” (add another hyphen and take the “s” off “routes”).




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