Re: [NetBehaviour] triggers
http://socialfabric.jeron.org/works/2008/09/03/borderline/ Alan Sondheim schrieb: triggers - thoughts of death and annihilation -- when i can't get dying out of my mind -- when i find annihilation intolerable -- when i'm living through my death and annihilation thoughts of events immediately after my death -- when i think of azure seeing, something, anything, immediately after my death -- when i think of my loved belongings, dispersed, on unknown journeys -- when i think of the matrix of my life dissolving -- when i can't express this to others remembering my father's behavior towards me -- when i think of growing up in a horizon of tempers and screaming -- when my mother remained aloof or blind to this -- when i remember crumbling under psychic violence -- when i can't express this to others -- when i can't deal with authority, including my own -- when i deconstruct authority to the point of abjection and annihilation my sister's behavior, violence, and power of attorney -- when i she doesn't give me even a modicum of respect -- when i see her collusion with my father and his blind spot with her -- when i see my father rejecting his sons -- when i think about any of this my sexuality uneasily escaping fantasy, ghosting everywhere -- when the fantasy mixes art and the real world -- when i my work makes others uncomfortable -- when i can't deal with my own sexuality -- when i feel i'm distorted, ugly, ogre, meagre -- when i express myself poorly to others fear of becoming homeless -- when i find our financial situation one of constant loss and struggle -- when i try to come to grips with stress and find this inconceivable -- when i find peacefulness inconceivable -- when i worry that everything i've accomplished will disappear -- when i fear i have accomplished nothing fear of losing azure -- when i realize she has to be saint and martyr to survive with me -- when i inadvertently hurt or or withdraw because of triggering -- when she gets exhausted over the same old thing of mine -- when i feel i never pay her enough attention -- when i realize how much i love her and it's frightening, thinking she has saved me -- when i worry about salvation from anywhere -- when i feel hopeless fear of triggering -- when i feel the thoughts coming, and find no way to stop them -- when my life seems almost catatonic and surviving under onslaught -- when everything feels neutralized and joyless -- when i recognize the history of the planet as one of continuous slaughter -- when i know that triggering only leads to the abyss -- when i sense the chemicals taking over, the intrinsic processes of my body out of control -- when i sense that being out of control is a permanent condition -- when i feel my mind turns against me in every direction -- when i feel the presence of authority, for this always diminishes me -- when i live a life of absolute and permanent regret -- when my joy carries the seeds of its own destruction on the surface for i know that triggering -- is an irreversible descent, carrying my world with it -- transforms my world into the world, so there is no escape -- turns suicide neither into a question nor an answer, but defuge and useless -- when alternatives decay -- when i can't speak but bluster, when i lose my breath, when i sweat profusely, when i cry uncontrollably, when i become dizzy and stumble about, when fear cries from every pore, when 'anything' sets me off, sets me shaking, when the very thought of triggers bring legions of them, -- and when i, in despair, remain on the surface of spews, seethings, abjections, untoward and extreme sexualities, pushing art and life to the limit, returning with nothing but fear, shame, exhaustion - returning with nothing usable, nothing at all ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour
Re: [NetBehaviour] software
hi rich, depends on what you want to do. maybe you want to give cinepaint a try http://www.cinepaint.org/ cheers KH rich white schrieb: hey everybody can anybody recommend any really good opensource photo editing software for macs? cheers rich white http://www.counterwork.co.uk 07812444612 ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour -- 「When too perfect…, lieber Gott boese.」 （完璧すぎるならば、神の怒りに触れるだろう） http://khjeron.de begin:vcard fn:KH Jeron n:Jeron;KH adr:;;Heckmannufer 7;Berlin;;10997;Germany email;internet:[EMAIL PROTECTED] tel;home:++49 (0) 30 614 94 63 url:http://khjeron.de version:2.1 end:vcard ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour
Re: [NetBehaviour] software
Please keep in mind that gimp for mac still relies on X11, which might be anoying ... marc garrett schrieb: Yep - Gimp is the one... marc Try http://www.gimp.org/macintosh/ On Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 1:20 PM, rich white [EMAIL PROTECTED] mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: hey everybody can anybody recommend any really good opensource photo editing software for macs? cheers rich white http://www.counterwork.co.uk 07812444612 ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org mailto:NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour -- best Jake Jake Harries Digital Arts Programme Manager ACCESS SPACE 1 Sidney St Sheffield, S1 4RG, UK t: +44 (0)114 249 5522 w: www.access-space.org http://www.access-space.org Reg. Charity 1103837 www.myspace.com/jakeharries http://www.myspace.com/jakeharries www.myspace.com/heights_of_abraham http://www.myspace.com/heights_of_abraham www.myspace.com/chakk http://www.myspace.com/chakk P Help save paper: do you need to print this email? ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour -- 「When too perfect…, lieber Gott boese.」 （完璧すぎるならば、神の怒りに触れるだろう） http://khjeron.de begin:vcard fn:KH Jeron n:Jeron;KH adr:;;Heckmannufer 7;Berlin;;10997;Germany email;internet:[EMAIL PROTECTED] tel;home:++49 (0) 30 614 94 63 url:http://khjeron.de version:2.1 end:vcard ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour
Re: [NetBehaviour] software
you are right marc, i just wanted to draw your attention to cinepaint, which is a great choice for motion picture artists ... It has been used for Harry Potter, Grinch, Fast and the Furious, just to name a few. And its opensource like Gimp, but it can handle CIN, DPX or EXR files. cheers KH marc garrett schrieb: Hi KH, I've used it on my mac-laptop and it seemed fine. But it does depend what demands one has with Gimp, as Auriea mentioned regarding the use of a wacom tablet. I know Auriea's needs are high-end resolution for visuals on games etc... Although, these days a mouse can be pretty accurate. I think the most important message here is that we use what works for our needs :-) marc Please keep in mind that gimp for mac still relies on X11, which might be anoying ... marc garrett schrieb: Yep - Gimp is the one... marc Try http://www.gimp.org/macintosh/ On Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 1:20 PM, rich white [EMAIL PROTECTED] mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: hey everybody can anybody recommend any really good opensource photo editing software for macs? cheers rich white http://www.counterwork.co.uk 07812444612 ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org mailto:NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour -- best Jake Jake Harries Digital Arts Programme Manager ACCESS SPACE 1 Sidney St Sheffield, S1 4RG, UK t: +44 (0)114 249 5522 w: www.access-space.org http://www.access-space.org Reg. Charity 1103837 www.myspace.com/jakeharries http://www.myspace.com/jakeharries www.myspace.com/heights_of_abraham http://www.myspace.com/heights_of_abraham www.myspace.com/chakk http://www.myspace.com/chakk P Help save paper: do you need to print this email? ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour -- 「When too perfect…, lieber Gott boese.」 （完璧すぎるならば、神の怒りに触れるだろう） http://jeron.org ___ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@netbehaviour.org http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour
