RE: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender
I wanted another girl when I had baby no.3. I was so disappointed to get this boy that it took weeks for me to bond with him. It was so obvious to the staff that they notified him as a baby at risk to the MCHN. Happy ending, I adjusted, he soon became the light of my life. But it was awful, and it didn't help when people told me I should be happy with what I got. -Original Message-From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]On Behalf Of Kylie CarberrySent: Monday, 24 October 2005 11:23 AMTo: ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.auSubject: RE: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender Andrea, I recall reading quite a good story on this topic - being disappointed with the sex of the baby - in Practical Parenting earlier this year. The editor wrote about it also in the editorial saying that what spawned the interest in taking on the subject was a lady who contacted her who was feeling awful because she found out she was having a girl when she wanted a boy. I had a search in my copies of the mag but couldn't find it. Perhaps you could contact the magazine and ask what issue it was in. It may help the woman you talk about to read about others with the same feelings and that it is not all that unusual to feel this way. cheers Kylie Carberry Freelance Journalist p: +61 2 42970115 m: +61 2 418220638 f: +61 2 42970747 From: "Andrea Bilcliff" [EMAIL PROTECTED]Reply-To: ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.auTo: "Ozmidwifery" ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.auCC: "Maternity Coalition Midwives" [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' genderDate: Mon, 24 Oct 2005 11:08:55 +1000 Sorry for cross posting... I have aclient who is due to give birth soonand shereally wants a baby of a particular genderbut the ultrasound has shown the baby to be the opposite.This ismuchmore than being a little disappointed and it doesnot appear to have eased over the course of the pregnancy. She has expressed concerns about how this may potentially affect her labour. She alsoexpresses enormous guilt over having these feelings when she already has healthy children, including one of this gender. She is also concerned about the effects her feelings/thoughts are having and will have on her baby's development. Assuming the ultrasound is correct, has anyone had experience of this either as a mother or care provider? Any words of wisdom? Thanks, Andrea Bilcliff-- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit to subscribe or unsubscribe.
[ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender
Sorry for cross posting... I have aclient who is due to give birth soonand shereally wants a baby of a particular genderbut the ultrasound has shown the baby to be the opposite.This ismuchmore than being a little disappointed and it doesnot appear to have eased over the course of the pregnancy. She has expressed concerns about how this may potentially affect her labour. She alsoexpresses enormous guilt over having these feelings when she already has healthy children, including one of this gender. She is also concerned about the effects her feelings/thoughts are having and will have on her baby's development. Assuming the ultrasound is correct, has anyone had experience of this either as a mother or care provider? Any words of wisdom? Thanks, Andrea Bilcliff
RE: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender
Andrea, I recall reading quite a good story on this topic - being disappointed with the sex of the baby - in Practical Parenting earlier this year. The editor wrote about it also in the editorial saying that what spawned the interest in taking on the subject was a lady who contacted her who was feeling awful because she found out she was having a girl when she wanted a boy. I had a search in my copies of the mag but couldn't find it. Perhaps you could contact the magazine and ask what issue it was in. It may help the woman you talk about to read about others with the same feelings and that it is not all that unusual to feel this way. cheers Kylie Carberry Freelance Journalist p: +61 2 42970115 m: +61 2 418220638 f: +61 2 42970747 From: "Andrea Bilcliff" [EMAIL PROTECTED]Reply-To: ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.auTo: "Ozmidwifery" ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.auCC: "Maternity Coalition Midwives" [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' genderDate: Mon, 24 Oct 2005 11:08:55 +1000 Sorry for cross posting... I have aclient who is due to give birth soonand shereally wants a baby of a particular genderbut the ultrasound has shown the baby to be the opposite.This ismuchmore than being a little disappointed and it doesnot appear to have eased over the course of the pregnancy. She has expressed concerns about how this may potentially affect her labour. She alsoexpresses enormous guilt over having these feelings when she already has healthy children, including one of this gender. She is also concerned about the effects her feelings/thoughts are having and will have on her baby's development. Assuming the ultrasound is correct, has anyone had experience of this either as a mother or care provider? Any words of wisdom? Thanks, Andrea Bilcliff -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit to subscribe or unsubscribe.
Re: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender
There have also been some threads (discussions) on this in the birth.com.au forums in the last 3 months, you can search and find them. - Original Message - From: Kylie Carberry To: ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.au Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 11:22 AM Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender Andrea, I recall reading quite a good story on this topic - being disappointed with the sex of the baby - in Practical Parenting earlier this year. The editor wrote about it also in the editorial saying that what spawned the interest in taking on the subject was a lady who contacted her who was feeling awful because she found out she was having a girl when she wanted a boy. I had a search in my copies of the mag but couldn't find it. Perhaps you could contact the magazine and ask what issue it was in. It may help the woman you talk about to read about others with the same feelings and that it is not all that unusual to feel this way. cheers Kylie Carberry Freelance Journalist p: +61 2 42970115 m: +61 2 418220638 f: +61 2 42970747 From: "Andrea Bilcliff" [EMAIL PROTECTED]Reply-To: ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.auTo: "Ozmidwifery" ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.auCC: "Maternity Coalition Midwives" [EMAIL PROTECTED]Subject: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' genderDate: Mon, 24 Oct 2005 11:08:55 +1000 Sorry for cross posting... I have aclient who is due to give birth soonand shereally wants a baby of a particular genderbut the ultrasound has shown the baby to be the opposite.This ismuchmore than being a little disappointed and it doesnot appear to have eased over the course of the pregnancy. She has expressed concerns about how this may potentially affect her labour. She alsoexpresses enormous guilt over having these feelings when she already has healthy children, including one of this gender. She is also concerned about the effects her feelings/thoughts are having and will have on her baby's development. Assuming the ultrasound is correct, has anyone had experience of this either as a mother or care provider? Any words of wisdom? Thanks, Andrea Bilcliff-- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit to subscribe or unsubscribe.
RE: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender
Andrea, I have written an article on this which may be of help. I have found people linking the article on Specific Gender forums around Australia many of them find it very helpful. Perhaps you can pass it onto her? http://bellybelly.com.au/articles/pregnancy/gender-disappointment Best Regards, Kelly Zantey Director, www.bellybelly.com.au www.toys4tikes.com.au Gentle Solutions For Conception, Pregnancy, Birth Baby Australian Little Tikes Specialists From: owner-ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.au [mailto:owner-ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.au] On Behalf Of Andrea Bilcliff Sent: Monday, 24 October 2005 11:09 AM To: Ozmidwifery Cc: Maternity Coalition Midwives Subject: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender Sorry for cross posting... I have aclient who is due to give birth soonand shereally wants a baby of a particular genderbut the ultrasound has shown the baby to be the opposite.This ismuchmore than being a little disappointed and it doesnot appear to have eased over the course of the pregnancy. She has expressed concerns about how this may potentially affect her labour. She alsoexpresses enormous guilt over having these feelings when she already has healthy children, including one of this gender. She is also concerned about the effects her feelings/thoughts are having and will have on her baby's development. Assuming the ultrasound is correct, has anyone had experience of this either as a mother or care provider? Any words of wisdom? Thanks, Andrea Bilcliff
RE: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender
Dear Andrea, Over my 30+ years of a midwife, I remember 2 births that were influenced by the ultrasound reports. The first was mother to be of her 5th boy, turned out to be a girl so result was happiness all round! The second event was a mother having 2nd baby, first was a boy and ultrasound said this one would be a girl. Over the labour, mother and support people talked about the nursery being newly painted pink, girls names chosen, grandma had jewellery engraved with this name etc. Baby was a boy! The atmosphere in the birth room was one of shock, mum took a couple of hours to just hold her new baby! I felt incredibly sad for this baby and family but the next day all (at least on the surface!) seemed ok. I think the baby was being bottle fed, though this was decided before the birth. Barbara Stokes -Original Message- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Andrea Bilcliff Sent: Monday, 24 October 2005 11:09 AM To: Ozmidwifery Cc: Maternity Coalition Midwives Subject: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender Sorry for cross posting... I have aclient who is due to give birth soonand shereally wants a baby of a particular genderbut the ultrasound has shown the baby to be the opposite.This ismuchmore than being a little disappointed and it doesnot appear to have eased over the course of the pregnancy. She has expressed concerns about how this may potentially affect her labour. She alsoexpresses enormous guilt over having these feelings when she already has healthy children, including one of this gender. She is also concerned about the effects her feelings/thoughts are having and will have on her baby's development. Assuming the ultrasound is correct, has anyone had experience of this either as a mother or care provider? Any words of wisdom? Thanks, Andrea Bilcliff
