The Talk2 List This week on The john Zone
This week's show will be especially dedicated to those of us who grew up in the 1990's watching Nickelodeon and its associated cartoons. Featured on the show will be several snippets from Doug, as well as any other Nick Toon that might come up throughout the course of the evening. And since this will be the first official show of the new year, we will be belching out the very last of the holiday-related recordings and diving right back in to some content I've had festering in the John Zone studios since October: including new tracks from T.a.t.U.'s latest album, a studio recording done by Weird Al's backing band, and many other slivers of greatness that I've no doubt forgotten but will remember right after this message has been sent. SO tune in Tuesday night beginning at 6PM EST to http://tbrn.net:/tbrn.ogg, and let's have some fun. Well, until my nephew has to go night night that is.
Re: The Talk2 List Fw: A Christmas Giggle
To say "that's amazingly funny," would be an understatement. - Original Message - From: Venison88a To: talk2 Sent: Monday, January 05, 2009 6:07 PM Subject: The Talk2 List Fw: A Christmas Giggle This was too funny not to pass along. This is an article submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to find out who had the wildest Christmas dinners. It won first prize. As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty. One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?' 'You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour. Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls' come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination. On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours. The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner. My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What the hell is that?' she asked. My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.' 'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped. I kept my mouth shut. 'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued. 'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jay said, to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?' Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!' My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home. The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants. Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car. It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health. I can't wait until next Christmas. ___
The Talk2 List Fw: A Christmas Giggle
This was too funny not to pass along. This is an article submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to find out who had the wildest Christmas dinners. It won first prize. As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty. One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?' 'You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour. Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls' come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination. On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours. The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner. My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What the hell is that?' she asked. My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.' 'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped. I kept my mouth shut. 'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued. 'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jay said, to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?' Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!' My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home. The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants. Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car. It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health. I can't wait until next Christmas.
Re: The Talk2 List Fw: 101 Ways to Annoy People
I'd really love to know why my PDAudio account only seems to get every other, or maybe every third Talk2 message, while this one, running from my boring residential connection on a much inferior server, doesn't seem to care much. I am annoyed 101 times about this, by the way, just to keep in line with the subject, sort of. Derek Lane wrote: Hi me. Despite the fact that you didn't actively send this twice; it came through twice anyway. Please tell some random object to stop it, and look at your hp fanfics as they just finished being synchronised and are all big and nice. Did you miss a message? Well, don't. http://www.mail-archive.com/talk2%40andrelouis.com/ has it for you. Never miss a Talk2 message again.
Re: The Talk2 List Who's talking now?
I dont have any of those things, and i'm just waiting to put up stuff of quality. --- On Sun, 1/4/09, S. Nicole Campbell wrote: From: S. Nicole Campbell Subject: Re: The Talk2 List Who's talking now? To: "talk2" Date: Sunday, January 4, 2009, 9:29 AM O so if our houses flip upside down, we're just gonna move into your house... hope you've got a coffee maker. send me more funny stuff to laugh at! Haven't seen any in a minute. - Original Message - From: "Patrick Perdue" To: "talk2" Sent: Sunday, January 04, 2009 3:52 AM Subject: The Talk2 List Who's talking now? > With the push of stuff like Twitter, Facebook, and that other winky-blinky thing that rhymes with Tango, this list hasn't had much to do over the past year. > > If traffic on this list doesn't start becoming a lot more interesting, I'm going to have to take drastic measures. > Yep, that's right, I'm going to have to start forwarding server logs and caller ID info for each incoming call to this list, and you won't like it much. > Lots of phone numbers will become viewable by the public. > Your world will flip it's face off in at least four directions. > They'll turn your power off for being a bad person, and cut your phone line from the street. If you have cable, you won't anymore. If you have a satellite dish, make a wish before it hits the ground. > > In otherwords, talk! > > Now I'm going to be hypocritical and go to sleep. > > > > Did you miss a message? Well, don't. > http://www.mail-archive.com/talk2%40andrelouis.com/ > has it for you. Never miss a Talk2 message again. Did you miss a message? Well, don't. http://www.mail-archive.com/talk2%40andrelouis.com/ has it for you. Never miss a Talk2 message again.
