Taming that Temper
Broadcast 37
20 March 2011
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned”
-Buddha
“Arrrgghhh!”
Sounds familiar? Yes, this is probably the most commonly used utterance
associated with anger, frustration, rage, fury...and so on.
Yet, how many of us are actually able to control our outbursts?
Anger is a natural human emotion, so it's normal to get angry once in a while.
Whether it’s the standstill traffic on the way to work, or that person who cuts
in the queue you've been standing in for over an hour. Everyone has that one
particular thing that gets their blood boiling, and heart rate skyrocketing.
We all get angry at some point in our lives, however the real test is how we
choose to deal with it.
For most, aggression is the most instinctive expression of anger.
However, lashing out at someone physically isn't always the best way to express
our rage. Instead, there are three main approaches you could employ to express
your anger that could ensure that others don't get hurt in the heat of the
moment:
1. Express your anger assertively, - not aggressively: this doesn't
necessarily
mean being pushy or demanding. Knowing what you want and how to get it without
hurting others is probably the healthiest way to express your frustration.
1. Suppressing (keeping feelings of anger within oneself), redirecting
or
converting your anger towards something positive is another way to express your
anger,
However, it takes real skill and great perspective to focus on the positive.
BEWARE: the dangers of suppressing anger can be detrimental.
If not turned into more constructive behaviour, suppressing anger can cause
severe psychological and physiological problems.
That bottled up red-hot storage of fury will only harm your own well-being,
causing high blood pressure, depression, and passive-aggressive/cynical
tendencies.
As our first Holy Imam (a.s) says, “Be on guard against becoming angry with
someone who drives you to it, for surely it will destroy your presence of mind
and stop you from seeing things clearly.”
1. Calming- perhaps one of the best ways to tackle anger is to calm
yourself
down. Let that anger subside, and gradually leave you all together.
Take a chill pill yaar!
However, simply winding down is easier said than done. It takes real skill and
a
great deal insight to control an emotion as volatile as anger.
In part two of this series on anger management, we’ll look at some other
helpful
tips on taming that wild beast called anger that sometimes runs rampant within
us.
Happy chilling!
Contributed by: Kulsoom Hooda
www.ineedmotivation.com
Kulsoom Hooda has studied Arabic and Middle Eastern Politics at the University
of Leeds, UK. Currently, she is training as a Teacher of Arabic at the School
of
Oriental and African Studies in London. She very much enjoys reading and
travelling, and hopes to make a difference in Arabic Teaching one day!
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