Huda - you make a very good point. As women, we can be automatically dismissed at first sight by men, to the extent they don't even bother to ask the question.
Earlier this year, I treated myself to an American Express excursion to famed Danish restaurant Noma (I'd always wanted to go, bookings were always full, and they were closing this fall to reinvent themselves in different incarnations), which involved a day in a large group of strangers being shown how the restaurant works, how they create their recipes and grow their ingredients, and then dinner in the evening. The Noma-determined dinner seating plan put me at a table as the lone woman with three men. They all asked each other what they did. Nobody asked me. (You can bet at some point I eventually made sure I told them 😂) I remember the moment, years ago, when I challenged myself to have no preconceptions on this. I was on a week-long spa stay where the guests were predominantly older women, and we all spent each day in robes and slippers. When I asked, "What do you do?", I was blown away by the fact that many of these women turned out to be extremely accomplished in very interesting fields. (I found myself sharing the hot tub with a woman who was a senior engineer at NASA and had the most fascinating conversation.) Gentlemen, whatever your own feelings on the matter, I highly recommend that you always ask women, "What do you do?" On Thu, Oct 10, 2024 at 4:06 AM Huda Masood via Silklist < [email protected]> wrote: > It’s interesting to see the nature of the answers > when you segregate them by gender :) > > I’m spending the week mushroom hunting in a forest, with a group whose > average age is 70 and they speak, almost exclusively, German. My German is > not so good. > > This morning, I asked one of the group, what they did for a living. She, > very self deprecatingly, said she was in market research. And the > conversation spun off from there into fem care products, target > demographics, cultural barriers for women, their bodies, the menstrual cup, > taboos around genitalia and acquiring databases to save the world in our > little way. We walked away feeling a lot cooler about ourselves and each > other. > > With zero agenda, I can say that there’s nothing banal about asking what > you do. Just like there’s nothing banal about opening a door the same few > ways it’s always been opened. > > I’m curious - what causes this desire for the clickbait equivalent of > introductions? Ennui ? Disillusionment? Shame at what pays the rent? Shame > at being unemployed? Lack of imagination at how usefully you’re spending > your 9-5? > > I’d rather know how you’re paying rent and contributing to the overall > wellbeing of society first and then your pleasure. Because what you do for > money decides a great deal what you can afford as pleasure. > > Conversely I’d like to know how you’re surviving if you aren’t paying the > rent or earning. Because it tells me a little more of what we could learn, > support or do better. > > Off to spore print a bunch of Parasol mushrooms. I’m really enjoying this > thread. :) > > Thanks Udhay, for stirring the pot ! > > > Huda Masood > +91 9886796967 > > > On Tue, 8 Oct 2024 at 10:14, Udhay Shankar N via Silklist < > [email protected]> wrote: > >> This, the most banal of all conversational opening lines, is something I >> discourage at the meetups I organise. So it was interesting to see >> silklister CY Gopinath's take. >> >> >> https://www.mid-day.com/news/opinion/article/and-you-do-exactly-what-sir-23407241 >> >> Udhay >> -- >> Silklist mailing list >> [email protected] >> https://mailman.panix.com/listinfo.cgi/silklist >> > -- > Silklist mailing list > [email protected] > https://mailman.panix.com/listinfo.cgi/silklist > -- *Cindy Gallop* Consultant + Founder/CEO Now you can micro-invest in MakeLoveNotPorn on WeFunder <https://wefunder.com/makelovenotporn/> 'Cindy Gallop Is Building The Next Sextech Unicorn': Sifted Interview <https://sifted.eu/articles/brunch-with-cindy-gallop/> The Prof G Pod with Scott Galloway: Sex, Porn And Knowing The Difference With Cindy Gallop <https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-prof-g-show-with-scott-galloway/id1498802610?i=1000575745417> MakeLoveNotPorn https://socialsexrevolution.com/ Book me to speak <http://www.robinsonspeakers.com/cindy-gallop-speaker-speakers-bureau> Hire me to coach/consult <https://cindygallop.com/> | Connect with me on LinkedIn <https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindygallop/> Follow me on Instagram <https://www.instagram.com/cindygallop/> Follow me on Twitter <https://twitter.com/cindygallop>
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