Udhay Shankar N <[email protected]> wrote:
An extremely interesting piece I came across:
<http://www.philosophersmail.com/relationships/how-we-end-up-marrying-the-wrong-people/>
How we end up marrying the wrong people
I think my favorite paragraph in this insightful work is probably this:
All of us are crazy in very particular ways. We?re distinctively neurotic, unbalanced and immature, but don?t know quite the details because no one ever encourages us too hard to find them out. An urgent, primary task of any lover is therefore to get a handle on the specific ways in which they are mad. They have to get up to speed on their individual neuroses. They have to grasp where these have come from, what they make them do ? and most importantly, what sort of people either provoke or assuage them. A good partnership is not so much one between two healthy people (there aren?t many of these on the planet), it?s one between two demented people who have had the skill or luck to find a non-threatening conscious accommodation between their relative insanities.
I think this speaks volumes to the challenges I've had (and continue to have) in 40 years of a "romantic marriage" as he defines it.
Aye, but the rub is that no one at marrying age will likely find this essay, and those of us old (and married) enough to find and read it now need to find a path toward such a conscious accommodation between insanities.
And it's not like our insanities are a constant either. <sigh> Cheers, Bruce
