On 10/24/2018 09:45 PM, Deepa Mohan wrote:
I wonder how many people on this list are in their sixties?
Well, me for one, and I've been considering the thoughts posted to this thread with some care.
I don't yet consider myself old. I'm reasonably fit, able to take care of myself, drive (though my nighttime depth perception has become suspect), and don't have any chronic maladies other than the allergies I've had since near birth.
However, my wife, though less than a year older, is becoming elderly. One hip replaced, the other on its way, arthritis in her spine, and most recently a torn rotator cuff that's playing hell with her curveball. She needs a wheelchair to travel any great distance, often a cane, and I've had to take over everything from grocery shopping to folding laundry. Add in her osteoporosis, and she's now afraid to be left alone for more than a few hours for fear of falling.
This isn't to say she's slowing down much. She's plans for us to dine out more than half the evenings, and she's decided she wants to cruise and see as much of the world as she can while she can. Being from the US, where wheelchair ramps and special lifts are not just normal, but required by law, she hasn't been as able as she had hoped at seeing some of that world. When she is, she obliges me to follow along and push.
The result is that while still fit (wheelchair pushing is apparently good exercise), my activities are being constrained to those she is able to enjoy. The resulting limits on my activity are thus equal to hers, and I find myself being quite frustrated by limits not my own. Sure, I signed up 44 years back "for better or worse", so I'm not complaining (out loud), but it is frustrating to be denied activities due to age and infirmity other than my own.
I'm under no apprehension that I'll fail to follow her down this road. Indeed I may be placed on it suddenly. But it has given me a view of how those both disabled and shut-in may feel that their world is shrinking, even without the passing of old(er) friends. Perhaps this would be easier to take if I sensed that my mind or body were beginning to shut down.
My family seems to have had good genes for longevity, with several in recent generations reaching 100 and the majority reaching 90, so I plan as if I've another 30 years to go. I'll have to wait and see how many more good years I have, as well as how many my wife can enjoy before infirmity puts her permanently in a bed (and care facility).
There was an age when I attended lots of weddings. Being childless, we skipped the baby parties and all that. Today we're attending ever more funerals. A natural progression, but one that has the salutary effect of imposing thoughts of our own mortality, and what sufferings may come before death.
No answers here, just some ponderings of a man not yet ready to call himself old.
Cheers, / Bruce /
