I think I will savour this message, read it several times, and then respond. Happy Deepavali to you, too, my very dear....you are right, why hang labels on you? I count myself very fortunate to know you and I do learn a lot from you.
On Tue, Nov 6, 2018 at 10:39 AM Srini RamaKrishnan <che...@gmail.com> wrote: > Dear Deepa, > > I am young enough to be your son, so I cannot speak on old age, but I can > speak a little on vulnerability. > > I know a little of - what it is to experience a chronic illness, be the > sole care taker for old and infirm family members, experience a rapid > deceleration in income and physical freedom among other things. > > When life changes under us our life understanding requires modification. > > We have all been utterly vulnerable as babies, dependent on others for > nearly everything - but there's not a single case of mental trauma from > being born vulnerable, babies have the most blissful smiles when their > basic needs are met. So we all know how to be vulnerable and yet blissful > in our core, needing only the most basic things. It's the layers of cruft > that we add on during the process of living that causes any suffering. > > Thanks to technology and innovation at least some people today have some > kind of pension or passive income to keep them financially stable in old > age, and there are advanced medical interventions for when diseases > threaten life. > > This wasn't always the case, and so, for this we must be thankful, old age > isn't as daunting as it once was. > > The inner experience of old age is then what I find threatens next - to be > robbed of the sense pleasures for one. When the hearing isn't good enough > for music or conversation, when the digestive system cannot tolerate one's > favorite foods, when the eyes want to remain closed longer than they want > to be open, when the brain is no longer sharp enough to enjoy sense inputs > etc. Of course this doesn't happen all at once, or at all for some - but > for many if they live into their 80s, this is what life becomes. > > Losing a life purpose is another - it's rather hard to keep chewing on the > sugarcane when one doesn't know what more one can extract from it. Rather > than have bleeding gums we stop chewing on the sugarcane - as in the case > of your relative. Though some people may face this dilemma even on > retirement from a career or bereavement. > > If I may rephrase your question "When does old age begin?" as "when does > vulnerability and change begin?", then, was there ever a time when it > wasn't so? > > To begin with the obvious, we are living on a piece of rock spinning and > hurtling through space at an astonishing pace. We simply tune out the chaos > and uncertainty of it, and imagine a life on our terms. Life is never on > anyone's terms - ever - it's merely a dance - we don't set the tune, but > we can learn to move gracefully with the music. There's always music, even > in what may sound like cacophony - we only need to learn to move with it. > Old age is just a new tempo to the tune. > > We must prepare for being vulnerable even if we are confident in our plans > to secure the future. Not just in old age, but at any moment our life > circumstances can be altered totally. > > If we can enjoy life only as long as things are under our control, we are > usually in for trouble. We do significantly better if we hold life loose, > not being attached to or identified with any job or passion or interest or > person or health or wealth such that its disappearance wouldn't threaten. > > An individual identity is a bit like adding salt to food, a little goes a > long way. Too much investment in a limited identity or preference will > diminish life and dull intelligence. If our whole life is spent in > acquiring labels - identities of father, son, boss, rich man, public > intellectual, sports person etc. then when the labels are taken away > there's often great suffering. > > This is what the wisdom teachings of this culture say, seek self > realization - find who we are beyond the labels, beyond the limited > identities. > > Happy Deepavali! >
