Good point about the text medium, and I like your advice about dealing
with it, too. I will try to follow that from now on. I know I can be
somewhat impatient, but I'm not nearly as grumpy as some of my emails
make me look.
Thanks for setting such a good example for us.
Cheers,
indi
On Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:49:49 -5
"M. G. Devour" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Indi writes:
> > Thanks. Yes, I feel a bit on the hot seat with a couple of people
> > here. :)
>
> Yep! <grin>
>
> > I don't think of debate as hostility, but I have been reminded
> > recently that some people do. So your point is a good one. Also I
> > tend to forget that not everyone is as pedantic as I know can be at
> > times. My "good enough" sometimes includes a lot of factors most
> > people never think of.
>
> Oh, I know the temptation to be pedantic. Fight it quite often,
> particularly in face-to-face encounters where I don't have as much
> time to think about my wording.
>
> A key element in most such misunderstandings is that this medium, raw
> text, lacks all the other elements essential to communicating nuance;
> tone of voice, facial expression, body language, touch.
>
> Whatever you type comes across 5 to 10 times more harshly than you
> intend. It is a good idea to always re-read what you type in the
> worst possible tone of voice and see how aggressive, arrogant,
> insulting, rude, or insensitive you can make it sound... Then try
> writing it again to make it so the words actually communicate the
> tone you want to project.
>
> I've been at this internet stuff for over 15 years now. I've written
> probably at least 15,000 e-mail messages, usenet or forum postings. I
> still work very hard to make sure each message I send is as gentle as
> I can make it, of course with the rare exception of when I *want* to
> be rude! <grin>
>
> Without thinking about it, most people fall into the trap of reading
> their own words with subtlety and nuance, and others' as harshly as
> possible. We must do just the opposite: Read your own words to others
> as harshly as possible and then make them gentler; read others' words
> as gently as possible and assume the best intentions possible.
>
> > > The other expectation I'd hope to see you scale back a little is
> > > your belief that *anything* we could do here would result in
> > > institutional acceptance of CS.
> >
> > Oh, I have already seen and accepted that legitimization is far
> > from a common desire on this list. And that's fine, I guess I just
> > didn't anticipate it.
>
> I imagine few of us would not want mainstream acceptance, but I think
> most of us doubt it's worth waiting around for and some would fear
> what degree of compromises or loss of freedom we'd suffer in the
> process.
>
> Really, I'd say ours is more of a grass roots, bottom up rather than
> institutional, top down approach.
>
> > There is a lot I didn't expect here, really. But I am glad to be on
> > this list, there are some really intriguing people and ideas here,
> > and a lot of experience.
>
> Yep, I think you got it! <smile>
>
> > Thanks for the help and the kind words.
>
> Thank you very much for your understanding.
>
> Peace,
>
> Mike D.
>
> [Mike Devour, Citizen, Patriot, Libertarian]
> [[email protected] ]
> [Speaking only for myself... ]
>
>
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