See if this is in html mode. I just noticed it was on. Truth be told Serita is here and is not familiar with the oddities of our rather complicated computer set up, and she can't see well and since she has been here she has done all sorts of things to the system. She never means to do harm, she just naturally does things that can cause the most possible screwups and bad luck seems to stalk her like a shadow. I think if I believed in such things that she had a curse on her and needed an exorcism. But if having my html on made me seem more bitchy, perhaps I should leave it on<g> Doe anyone else out here have any tips on how to be bitchy. My husband told me over 10 years ago when I was working for a resume writing service and people were aggravating the sh-- out of me that I should hang a sign where they could not see it that said "I am a bitch" to help me remember to deal with people from a position of strengh. I used to be the worst doormat you ever saw. I always had fire and courage when needed, but in normal non serious social situation I always came off like a whipped puppy with my tail between my legs. I have hated that about myself. I used to not be able to say "no" and it is still hard. I still overcommit myself and get into things I wish I had not due to this inability to say no. At times in my life I have felt like the most spineless coward and have been shamed by my feelings of fear and timidity. Yet others see me as very courageous. they do not see the coward within. I still get the shakes sometimes in tense situations. Like a couple of weeks ago, one of the young girls who shares an apartment with other college girls a few units down was having an altercation with her boyfriend in the front yard here. I observed all from my window here in the computer room and when they began to get physical and graphle along with the cursing and yelling I became frightened that the male would hurt the girl. I yelled out the window to him to let go of her or I would call the police. They both seemed not to hear me. Had he persisted in strangling her I would have gone down and taken the heaviest object from my home and brained him and I know this, but they broke apart. But what makes me mad at myself, as I am siting up in my second story vantage point shaking over this. Shaking almost too much to stand. I never used to get this way and it makes me mad at myself. The first time it ever happened was long ago when I was a respiratory therapist. The first time I drew a blood gas alone after training to do it. I went in acted the role of someone with perfect confidence who had done this painful procedure for decades or something, and the patient fully trusted me and I got the blood sample and smiled and left the room and then when I got out in the hall found my legs were shaking so bad I had to lean on the wall for moment to regain composure. self loathing. Would a bitch shake in those situations. I think not. I need to be more of a bitch to stiffen my somewhat weak and yellow spine.
Barb
Dear Chuck, See if this is in html mode. I just noticed it was on. Truth be told Serita is here and is not familiar with the oddities of our rather complicated computer set up, and she can't see well and since she has been here she has done all sorts of things to the system. She never means to do harm, she just naturally does things that can cause the most possible screwups and bad luck seems to stalk her like a shadow. I think if I believed in such things that she had a curse on her and needed an exorcism. But if having my html on made me seem more bitchy, perhaps I should leave it on<g> Doe anyone else out here have any tips on how to be bitchy. My husband told me over 10 years ago when I was working for a resume writing service and people were aggravating the sh-- out of me that I should hang a sign where they could not see it that said "I am a bitch" to help me remember to deal with people from a position of strengh. I used to be the worst doormat you ever saw. I always had fire and courage when needed, but in normal non serious social situation I always came off like a whipped puppy with my tail between my legs. I have hated that about myself. I used to not be able to say "no" and it is still hard. I still overcommit myself and get into things I wish I had not due to this inability to say no. At times in my life I have felt like the most spineless coward and have been shamed by my feelings of fear and timidity. Yet others see me as very courageous. they do not see the coward within. I still get the shakes sometimes in tense situations. Like a couple of weeks ago, one of the young girls who shares an apartment with other college girls a few units down was having an altercation with her boyfriend in the front yard here. I observed all from my window here in the computer room and when they began to get physical and graphle along with the cursing and yelling I became frightened that the male would hurt the girl. I yelled out the window to him to let go of her or I would call the police. They both seemed not to hear me. Had he persisted in strangling her I would have gone down and taken the heaviest object from my home and brained him and I know this, but they broke apart. But what makes me mad at myself, as I am siting up in my second story vantage point shaking over this. Shaking almost too much to stand. I never used to get this way and it makes me mad at myself. The first time it ever happened was long ago when I was a respiratory therapist. The first time I drew a blood gas alone after training to do it. I went in acted the role of someone with perfect confidence who had done this painful procedure for decades or something, and the patient fully trusted me and I got the blood sample and smiled and left the room and then when I got out in the hall found my legs were shaking so bad I had to lean on the wall for moment to regain composure. self loathing. Would a bitch shake in those situations. I think not. I need to be more of a bitch to stiffen my somewhat weak and yellow spine.
Barb
