Well, I'll probably get flamed but here goes.... There is not much your daughter can do. Your Granddaughter doesn't mess with daddy because she knows daddy won't put up with it. Your daughter on the other hand does put up with her shenanigans. My mother used to tell us that if you don't get your children to respect you by age 13 they never will. My mom was very strict but very loving.
When my son was 4 years old he got mad at me, raised both fists and shook them at me with the most hateful look I have ever seen. At first I was heartbroken that this cute little sweet baby would do that. Then I realized that if I didn't nip it in the bud at 4, he would be hitting me at 14. So I could have run off crying and lamenting that my 4 year old hated me or.... I could do what I did and wore his hind end out with a hickory. He has never done it since, and is the most loving sweet boy of 10 years old. He recently had to see a psychologist for a reading disability. The psychologist congratulated me on such a nice well mannered child. Of course I said that my son is naturally a great kid (he is) but the psychologist stopped me and said "no, Mrs. Fields, that doesn't happen on accident." And you know what? He is right. It could be mental illness, but my gut tells me this girl is playing your daughter. What clues gave me this intuition? She obeys daddy, she gets good grades (obeys teachers) and participates in sports (obeys coaches). If this were TRULY a mental illness, her disobedience would be uniform. Mom (your daughter) needs to start the tomato staking form of discipline right now. The caving into demands should STOP, no SUV, no car no nothing until the daughter starts to respect mom outwardly. She should not be allowed to go ANYWHERE without mom (only to school). Any trips to the mall, any trips to the skating rink, any trips to the bowling alley, to friends etc should be accompanied by mom. Mom can say "when you earn my respect by respecting me, you can earn some freedom." I practiced the tomato staking with my step-daughter. She was 13 and wore all black, rebellious, stayed up all night watching MTV, verbally insulting and totally irresponsible. I went EVERYWHERE with her. The cable was disconnected, the staying up all night ended. It took about six months and she began to wear nice clothes, was pleasant, began to get great grades. It turned her around. I explained to her that responsibility and privilege is like two elevators. As one goes up so does the other. She had to prove to me she could be responsible and then I could give her privileges. It was a word picture that was easy to understand. She graduated high school (only 3rd person in her entire family history to do so) and went onto college. She married her high school sweetheart, they have two kids and have a great life. The nice thing about tomato staking is...no screaming, no spanking, no grounding.... Just close parental attention. And it works. Lori -----Original Message----- From: Helen Woodward [mailto:[email protected]] Sent: Saturday, May 07, 2005 1:57 PM To: [email protected] Subject: CS>Re: silver-digest: Uncontrolable granddaughter Hi, I have been on this list forever and make colloidal silver and this list has so many wise people on it that was wondering what list that I could go to that would help us know what to do with my granddaughter who will be 16 soon. It is not just being a teenager since she has always had a bad character. She makes my daughter miserable and she told her that she didn't love her or her father any more and that all she wants from them is financial support. They just bought another house in a upscale neighborhood, she said she was ashamed to have friends over to her other house. She harped and harped on this and now it is a suv, her other friends that have turned 16 have a used SUV. It's like she gets in my daughter's ear and repeats the same thing over and over. She is beautiful and is good in sports and makes good grades. My daughter teaches at the high school that she goes to. Last night she called my daughter at 10 PM and wanted her to come and get her at her friends house and she didn't do this and this morning when she picked her up she started in on the suv again. They had gone to a store and granddaughter called her a "dumb but) loud enough for people to hear. This is so severe that my daughter called me this morning crying and said that she made her so miserable that she wishes she had never been born. Her father is a military man and tends to ground her for long periods which punishes my daughter also to have her around all the time. He wanted to ground her last week and I got into it and told my daughter that if you are too strict sometimes it backfires and she begged him not to ground her, I probably should not have gotten into it. In the halls at the school she told my daughter that she wasn't going to swim practice to be a life guard and she told her she wasn't going and she told her she had to and granddaughter looked at her real mean and said Make Me. Well she did go because her father picked her up and took her. She doesn't mess with him and says she hates him. Now this is a normal family in ever other way she has two younger sisters and my daughter says if it wasn't for them she would think she was a total failure. Talking to a Psychologist would not be the thing because she knows it all and would not talk to him, I think she needs medication. HELP Sorry for this long post Mary H. ----- Original Message ----- From: <[email protected]> To: <[email protected]> Sent: Saturday, May 07, 2005 5:51 AM Subject: silver-digest Digest V2005 #310 -- The Silver List is a moderated forum for discussing Colloidal Silver. 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