Instant classic or instant karma?

http://www.examiner.com/x-12332-Classic-Rock-Music-Examiner~y2009m6d12-Instant-classic-or-instant-karma

June 12, 2009
by Dawn Roberts

For a Buddhist, Karma is something to be avoided. Without launching 
into a lengthy explanation which will lure readers to an alternate 
scribe's scribblings, I'll say that Karma is baggage of sorts which 
locks you into a set of lifetimes, until you work it off. Kind of 
like that student loan which follows you way past your 28th birthday.

Little Feat, Joni Mitchell, The Allman Brothers and Neil Young. These 
artists became part of my personal rock lexicon by listening to the 
free-form FM station to top all free-form FM stations on the dial; 
WNEW in New York City. I was part of the congregation that worshipped 
at the altar of NEW. I learned more about the world beyond me there 
than any other place I knew. The DJ's became gurus and professors, 
larger than life icons. After all this time I can still recall their 
vocal timbres and mannerisms. There was Alison Steele "The Nightbird" 
who lulled me to sleep each night. The rock-steady Dennis Elsas, and 
Jonathan Schwartz, my personal favorite, a prolific writer with an 
encyclopedic knowledge of music.

I was a sponge for knowledge in those years, reading books I barely 
understood, but gleaned enough to know that there was a universe of 
lifestyles and experiences far more interesting than the upper middle 
class suburb which imprisoned me. The tome which began this journey 
was Robert Heinlein's "Stranger In a Strange Land". Immediately, the 
word Grok made complete sense to me. There were ideas out there, 
world views which I longed to share. I desperately wanted someone to 
Grok me. To deeply understand the curiosity in my young soul. Soon to 
follow were what I later realized was the required reading list for 
those who shared my wanderlust. Kerouac's "On the Road held a 
particular fascination for me. "The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test"and 
Hunter Thompson's "Hells Angels" had profound and lasting imprints on 
my mind. Thompson in particular informed and fueled my desire to 
experience life in real time, to feel the wind in my hair and taste 
freedom. Even then I knew that the paradox of freedom and security 
drew a shaky line in the sand that I would tread, sometimes carefully 
and others with abandon. I stayed on the straight and narrow enough 
to get my BA in Journalism and begin my professional life in the 
music business. It's said that luck is the place where opportunity 
and preparedness meet. I've been lucky to have jobs which I excelled 
at because I loved what I was doing. Even that first job, reading TV 
scripts and choosing music for every line in a show which suggested 
music as a background. Words such as radio, dancing, even aerobic 
exercise were my "eurekas". At the time publishing companies and 
record labels had yet to pay attention to the artist exposure or 
revenue streams which accumulated in meager increments for 30 second 
clips, so I was left to pick songs which were current and time 
honored favorites of mine. It's mind boggling to consider the changes 
a decade can make.

So how does this tale lead us to Classic Rock? Over the past ten 
years traffic gridlock in Los Angeles transformed me into a dedicated 
student of Classic Rock radio. Play lists have been scrawled on every 
scrap of paper in my car. The interior resembles the cave of an 
Archaeologist trying to understand what influences programmers of 
stations both corporate and independent. There are not many indie 
pirate radio relics, but they do exist. If they're on the dial I find 
them. In New York the journey from Woodstock to Manhattan takes from 
2 to 3 hours. I scan stations while I'm driving with the restlessness 
of a distracted man jamming on his remote after a long day at work. I 
listen for patterns and differences, the elements that help define 
what radio listeners today consider a Classic.

What I have surmised is a theory some readers may not like. Yes, 
ignorance is bliss. The play lists of Classic Rock radio stations are 
not determined by listeners of that particular station. They're based 
on a combination of Arbitron ratings, and a complex research 
equations about what inspires people to linger in a department store, 
buy tech gadgets they don't need or most importantly, what makes 
listeners hold steady and sit still through 10 minutes of commercials 
in a row. Whether it's an oldies station (to my dismay some 80's hits 
are now classified as oldies) or a Hair-Bands-Rule show, certain 
songs always seem to make the cut. The Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear 
The Reaper" is one of them, Guns and Roses "Sweet Child O' Mine" and 
John Mellencamp's "Little Pink Houses" are songs you can count on 
hearing in any classic rock radio show. Just as I am enjoying a sweet 
reverie seeing Neil Young, The Pretenders or The Police, a song like 
'Because I Got High" by Afroman or Rick Dee's "Disco Duck" startles 
me back into realty. There is a difference between true classics 
radio hits, and those which dominated the charts for a few weeks in a 
given time period (at least 15 years ago). There are certain artists 
which on the basis of reputation are added to classic rock play lists 
as soon as they are released. These include Bob Dylan, the Dave 
Matthews Band" and more questionable choices like Train or Kid Rock. 
Instant karma indeed.

When the song "Mambo #5 " hit the charts I imagined Lou Bega in 20 
years, still depositing fat royalty checks for a lively, but hardly 
original song, which began to annoy me terribly by the second time I 
heard it.. I actually have nothing against the Mungo Jerry's and 
Andrea True's of the world. I do admit, however, to a small modicum 
of satisfaction thinking about the many lives as a Koi Fish they will 
live for having been firmly embedded onto radio play lists; the 
payback for achieving Instant Karma rather than earning the Instant 
Classic label, in my book at least.

.


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