----- Original Message -----
From: Marius Swart
To: Marius Swart
Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 8:25 PM
Subject: Fw: Noah
In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
South Africa
, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and
I see
the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark
and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the plans, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark
before I will start the
unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
but no
Ark.
"Noah!" He roared , "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
building permit.
I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbours
claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark
in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Metro
Council
for a decision.
Then the power company demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving
power
lines and
other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the
sea.
I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing
of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees
because
the Nature Conservation authorities say it will upset the balance of the
local ecological
system.
I tried to convince them that I needed the wood to save us
all from extinction - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, the SPCA prosecuted me. They insisted
that
I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the
accommodation was
too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a
confined
space.
The traffic authorities said it would take six months after completion of
the ark
to plan a route to the sea. I told them also that the sea would be coming to
my back
yard. They threatened to have me committed.
Then the Department for Environment ruled that I couldn't build the Ark
until I had arranged and conducted an environmental impact study on your
proposed
flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Black Economic Empowerment
group on how many
affirmative
action persons I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
The Department of The Interior has insisted that I provide them with a list
of the
people who want to work so that they can check that they are not from the
none designated
group.
The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union
workers with
Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, the Revenue Service seized all my assets, claiming I'm
trying to
leave the
country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish
this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
across
the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy
the world?"
"No," said the Lord.
"The SA Government has beaten me to it."
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