It's hilarious, but it still is off-topic, isn't it? :) Just thought I'd mention it. "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." ----- Original Message ----- From: "marissa" <marissa.hendry at btinternet.com> To: <youness1999 at hotmail.fr>; "a list for discussing skype and its use with screen accesssoftware." <skypeenglish at emissives.com> Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 7:08 PM Subject: [Skypeenglish] Fw: Noah
> > ----- Original Message ----- > From: Marius Swart > To: Marius Swart > Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 8:25 PM > Subject: Fw: Noah > > > In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in > South Africa > , and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, > and > I see > the end of all flesh before me. > Build another Ark > and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans." > He gave Noah the plans, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark > before I will start the > unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." > Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - > but no > Ark. > "Noah!" He roared , "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?" > "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a > building permit. > I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler > system. > My neighbours > claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark > in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Metro > Council > for a decision. > Then the power company demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of > moving power > lines and > other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to > the > sea. > I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear > nothing > of it. > Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees > because > the Nature Conservation authorities say it will upset the balance of the > local ecological > system. > I tried to convince them that I needed the wood to save us > all from extinction - but no go! > When I started gathering the animals, the SPCA prosecuted me. They > insisted > that > I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the > accommodation was > too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a > confined > space. > The traffic authorities said it would take six months after completion of > the ark > to plan a route to the sea. I told them also that the sea would be coming > to > my back > yard. They threatened to have me committed. > Then the Department for Environment ruled that I couldn't build the Ark > until I had arranged and conducted an environmental impact study on your > proposed > flood. > I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Black Economic > Empowerment group on how many > affirmative > action persons I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. > The Department of The Interior has insisted that I provide them with a > list > of the > people who want to work so that they can check that they are not from the > none designated > group. > The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only > Union > workers with > Ark-building experience. > To make matters worse, the Revenue Service seized all my assets, claiming > I'm trying to > leave the > country illegally with endangered species. > So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish > this Ark." > Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow > stretched > across > the sky. > Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy > the world?" > "No," said the Lord. > "The SA Government has beaten me to it." > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG. > Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.22.13/1378 - Release Date: > 15/04/2008 09:12 > Thanks for posting to the skype english list. To access scripts for the > latest version of skype go to > http://www.dlee.org/skype > To access tutorials and other goodies go to > http://www.marrie.org/skype/skype.html > thanks and have a wonderful day. > > > _______________________________________________ > Skypeenglish mailing list > Skypeenglish at emissives.com > http://emissives.com/mailman/listinfo/skypeenglish_emissives.com
