It's all context

> The best beginners dist is the one the person's friends are using.
> If this is not applicable.
My two converts in the UK and US don't care what I'm using!
Remote (occasional) support with sues's curses based yast is by far the best 
option for them

> The most popular one at the local lug or support mailing list/web forum
> of choice.
None of my fledglings know about, use, or are concerned with a LUG.

> If the person is a beginner as opposed simply a user _any_ distro that
> installs is completely fine. The cheapest magazine with an appropriate
> cd or dvd on the cover.
>  All the major ones are pretty easy compared to when all the old sages
> around had no clue and installed for the first time.
My brother-in-law spent a week trying to do APCs ubuntu (6.06) [Power winders 
user]
I gave him Suse10.2 and same day he was up-n-running

My sister and her 2 12YOs is a tame user, but they don't need to ....wait....
They're happy with ubuntu, customized desktops, OO etc

So I don't agree with your criteria :-)
James

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