|
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand
the rules when dealing with women. This merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtrac- ted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Here is a guide to the points system: SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed.............................................................+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows..-1 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....................-2 You leave the toilet seat up.................................................-5 You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty................+5 When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex..-1 When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom........-2 You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5 in the rain.....................................................................+7 but return with beer.............................................................-1 and no pads.....................................................................-25 You check out a suspicious noise at night....................+1 You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing........ 0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is something...+5 You pummel it with a six iron............................................+10 It's her cat........................................................................-40 AT THE PARTY You stay by her side the entire party......................... 0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a school drinking buddy................................................-2 Named Tiffany.........................................................-20 Tiffany is a dancer...................................................-50 With breast implants..............................................-100 HER BIRTHDAY You remember her birthday...................................... +1 You buy a card and flowers......................................... +2 You take her out to dinner........................................... +5 You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.........+6 Okay, it is a sports bar...............................................-20 And it's all-you-can-eat night.......................................-30 It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team..............-40 A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Go with a pal.......................................................... 0 The pal is happily married.......................................+1 The pal is single....................................................-10 He drives a Ferrari.................................................-20 With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).........-30 A NIGHT OUT WITH HER You take her to a movie...............................................+2 You take her to a movie she likes.................................+5 You take her to a movie you hate..................................+8 You take her to a movie you like....................................-5 It's called Death Cop III................................................-10 Which features Cyborgs that eat humans......................-15 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-20 YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable pot belly..........................................-15 You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it..+10 You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts............................................-30 You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."............-1000 THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding.........................-10 You reply, "Where?"..................................-35 You reply, "No, I think it's your big butt!".......... Game Over- You lose Greg Hopper
"Why is it that our children can't
read a Bible in school, but they can
in
prison?" |
________________________________
Changes to your subscription (unsubs, nomail, digest) can be made by going to http://sandboxmail.net/mailman/listinfo/sndbox_sandboxmail.net
