*Benefits of Being a Woman
*We got off the Titanic first.
*We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological
disorder excuses.
*When we buy a vibrator, it's sexy. When men buy
a blow-up doll, it's pathetic.
*Our boyfriends' clothes look elfin and gorgeous on us --
guys look like complete idiots in ours.
*We can be groupies.
*Male groupies are stalkers.
*We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the
central figure in a computer game.
*Taxis stop for us.
*Men die sooner, so we get to cash in on the
life insurance.
*We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
*Free drinks.
*Free dinners.
*We can hug our friends without wondering if they
think we're gay.
*We can hug our friends without wondering if we're gay.
*We know the truth about whether size matters.
*New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
*Condoms make no significant difference in our
enjoyment of sex.
*It's possible to live our whole lives without ever
taking a group shower.
*No fashion faux pas we make could rival the Speedo.
*We don't fart to amuse ourselves.
*If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
*We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching
her ass.
*If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
*We never have to reach down every so often to make sure
our privates are still there.
*We have the ability to dress ourselves.
*We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
*We have an excuse to be totally cranky at least once a
month.
*We can talk to people of the opposite sex without
automatically picturing them naked.
*If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we
look like an idiot.
*Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's
spinach in our teeth.
Charles Mims
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