> ALL WOMEN PLEASE READ AND TAKE NOTE > > TO: ALL WOMEN > FROM: ALL MEN > > These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! > > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it > down. > > 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can > find the perfect present yet again! > > 1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. > > 1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to > discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and NASCAR. > > 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. > Let it be. > > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that > way. > > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. > Really. > > 1. Crying is blackmail. > > 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not > work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it! > > 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. > Remind us frequently beforehand. > > 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be > any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your > dress? > > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. > > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what > we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. > > 1. Check your oil! . Please. > > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, > all comments become null and void after 7 days. > > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to > act like soap opera guys. > > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways > makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. > > 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. > > 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it > done �?"not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it > yourself. > > 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during > commercials. > > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. > > 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we > were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends. > > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for > example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea > what mauve is. > > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. > > 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading > ability is not proof of how little we care about you. > > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's > wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. > > 1. I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape. > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: > http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx > > >
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