Speech given on 12/16/2004 at Ramsey County Citizen's Advisory Council Legislative Breakfast:
Good morning and welcome to the Wilder Child Development Center. My name is Mary Vanderwert. I'm the director here but I also chair the Children's Mental Health Subcommittee. It is our mission to ensure that all children in need of mental health support receive the services they need. More on that later, but right now, I want to introduce you to Matthew. Matthew is one of the children in our care. He is going to tell you his story. Here's Matthew. "Hi, I'm Matt. I'm 5 years old and I go to school here. Long ago, before I was born, my mom was living with my 3 sisters and my dad. I could hear them fighting sometimes and then Mommy would drink a lot. That hurt me - sometimes it made my head hurt. But when I was born, they were very happy! Mom even called me her "little man". They tried to take good care of me when I was little, but Mom was still drinking so sometimes when I cried, she got mad at me and other times, no one ever came to me. That was confusing for me so I cried even more. Sometimes I felt like no grown ups were there for me. I learned that I wasn't really important to them so sometimes I didn't even bother to cry at all. But when I did cry, I cried so loud and so long that they had to listen to me. I learned I had to take care of myself even though I was really little. When my mom had to go to work, I went to child care. The center had nice teachers but I didn't know that then. I knew I had to make a ruckus at home to get attention, so I figured I had to do that here too. So I tried all kinds of things to see if they would get mad at me or if they would take care of me. I would throw temper tantrums and they would hold me tight. That felt really good, but I just couldn't settle down for a long time because I just wasn't sure that I could trust them and I just felt so sad. And then there were all these other little kids who wanted my toys. So if they got in my way, I just hit them or pushed them down. Eventually they all left me alone. Then one day my dad didn't come home. Mommy said some other people shot him. We were all very sad. I don't understand why my sisters get to have daddies and mine had to die. It just makes me mad. My teachers started to worry about me when I was supposed to be learning to talk. I knew some words that they didn't like but I didn't talk very much. I knew that it was better to not listen to grownups because sometimes it just hurt my feelings to listen so I didn't do what they told me to do. When they tried to make me, I would get really mad and call them names and sometimes I would yell for an hour or more before I decided to do what they told me. They didn't understand that I needed to find out who I could trust before I could listen or learn. I just couldn't sit still and listen to them. Sometimes I felt so confused and shaky inside that all I could do was cry and scream and throw stuff. One time I threw a dinosaur at my speech therapist and cut her eye. She never came back to see me again. And all those other kids I had to be with all day. I didn't trust them either. They were the reason I didn't get to do anything I wanted. I had to wait in line with them, I had to share and take turns and I HATE that. Aso when new kids come in, I stick my chest out like this and get real close to them and show them my big fists so they know not to mess with me. But I really want to play with them because they look like they are having fun. I just don't know what to do! So they called in a child helper they call a psychologist to watch me. She told my mom I had ADHD and maybe Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She wanted my mom to take me to special doctors and to get help for herself too. But my mom didn't believe them - and besides she just got a new job and couldn't take time off to take me places. I'm going to kindergarten next year. I'm trying to get ready. I can write my name and I am listening better because I know I am safe. But what will it be like when I go to school? I know I will have to test my teachers before I can trust them. It took 3 years in my child care to trust my teachers. There will be more kids there too. Will I have to fight for attention? I know I will have to make my chest big a lot to make sure they don't mess with me. I told you I had a hard time making friends. It took 4 years in child care to have friends. And I've never been good at learning because I had to protect myself instead of paying attention. Will they get mad at me if I don't get it? I'm kinda scared. I'm just a little kid. I can't make big important decisions like you can so I am counting on you to think about me when you decide how to spend our state and county's money. Please think of me then. Okay, I gotta go now. Thanks for listening." Matthew's story is not all that unique. There are many more stories like him in our center and in our schools all over our county. Little kids are not like rubber bands. When they are stretched by stress or abuse or lack of care, they don't ever return to their original state. Children's mental health can determine their success or failure in their development and in their lives. Without intervention, kids like Matthew end up in truancy situations, violent episodes, delinquency or with self destructive behaviors. Another story is not unique in our community. There are many children who are born with the propensity for mental illness which is purely biological. They could have the best, most nurturing set of parents in the world and still have mental illness. And it will be a challenge for them for their whole life. If their parents are astute or the professionals around them know the signs, many children could be diagnosed in infancy. With early treatment and consistent treatment, these children could have a good chance for success in their life. Whatever the cause of mental illness, children need teachers who are available to them and are trained to create the best environment for their learning. They need a network of people who can hold them accountable for their behavior, they need specialists who can work with them to process what is happening to them, teacher them new ways of coping or prescribe medications, and their parents need education and support. Ramsey County has proven itself to be a county that cares about the mental health of its children. There are some services available to children in crisis and some ongoing case management for children but county staff are overwhelmed and can not do it all. There is a need for more professionals who are trained to work with children. Our schools need mental health professionals available to all children and teachers. Families with histories of abuse need support in learning new ways of treating each other. Our law enforcement professionals need to know what mental illness looks like in children and our whole community needs to know more about children's mental health and to start talking about how to promote optimal health in our children instead of avoiding the topic or blaming parents. Children's mental health is important to our whole community but most of all it is important to Matthew. If Matthew loses out, we all lose the potential of his life. Won't you please remember him as you work with your colleagues in moving our state forward? Thank you again for being here this morning. *************************************************************** Ren�e Jenson Como _____________________________________________ To Join: St. Paul Issues Forum Rules Discussion Email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ____________________________________________ NEW ADDRESS FOR LIST: [email protected] To subscribe, modify subscription, or get your password - visit: http://www.mnforum.org/mailman/listinfo/stpaul Archive Address: http://www.mnforum.org/mailman/private/stpaul/
