Matt,
You are a sick little puppy - but that,s why we love you:)
jamie k
----- Original Message -----
From: matthew koehler <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Wednesday, June 09, 1999 5:40 AM
Subject: totally NON SS: version 3.0 "alcohol"
> sorry about the chevrons...
>
> >>>> > Drink Alcohol.
> >>>> > If I could offer you only one tip for the future, alcohol would be
> it.
> >>>> >
> >>>> > The long-term benefits of alcohol have been consistently
> misunderstood
> >>>> by
> >>>> > scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more
reliable
> >>>> than
> >>>> > my own drunken experience.
> >>>> >
> >>>> > I will dispense this advice now.
> >>>> > Enjoy the power and beauty of your alcohol tolerance.
> >>>> > Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of
your
> >>>> > alcohol tolerance until it's faded.
> >>>> > But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself
> >puking
> >>>> > in
> >>>> > a gutter and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much alcohol
> you
> >>>> > drank
> >>>> > and how fabulous it really was.
> >>>> >
> >>>> > You are not as sick as you imagine.
> >>>> > Don't worry about where the next beer is coming from.
> >>>> > Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to pull
a
> >>>> page
> >>>> > three model after 15 pints of Stella.
> >>>> > The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never
> crossed
> >>>> > your drink-addled mind, like the unexpected lack of ale in the
> fridge
> >on
> >>>> > some idle Tuesday.
> >>>> >
> >>>> > Drink one thing every day that scares you.
> >>>> > Sing badly.
> >>>> > Be reckless when buying other people drinks.
> >>>> > Don't put up with people who are reckless when buying yours.
> >>>> > Gargle.
> >>>> > Don't waste your time on shandy.
> >>>> > Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
> >>>> > The race is long and, in the end, it's only to the bar.
> >>>> > Make up compliments you received. Return the insults.
> >>>> > If you don't succeed in doing this drink more beer now.
> >>>> > Keep your old ring pulls. Throw away your old cans.
> >>>> >
> >>>> > Retch.
> >>>> > Don't feel guilty if you don't know when you might dry-out in your
> >life.
> >>>> > The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 when they
would
> >>>> > sober up.
> >>>> > Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still haven't.
> >>>> > Get plenty of kebabs. Don't be too kind to your liver. You'll
hardly
> >>>> miss
> >>>> > it when it's gone.
> >>>> > Maybe you'll pull, maybe you won't.
> >>>> > Maybe you'll get some bird up the duff, maybe you won't.
> >>>> > Maybe you'll enter rehab at 40, maybe you'll dance the nude conga
at
> >>>> your
> >>>> > 75th University Reunion.
> >>>> > Whatever you do, congratulate yourself far too much and berate
> others.
> >>>> >
> >>>> > Your choices are half alcohol influenced. So are everybody else's.
> >>>> > Enjoy someone else's body.
> >>>> > Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what the
lads
> >>>> might
> >>>> > think of it.
> >>>> > It's probably the only time you'll ever pull.
> >>>> > Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but on the street with a
> can
> >of
> >>>> > Special Brew.
> >>>> > Ignore the directions, don't ever follow them.
> >>>> > Do not read beauty magazines, just cut out the pictures and put
them
> >on
> >>>> > your wall.
> >>>> >
> >>>> > Get to know your parents. You never know when you'll have to tap
> them
> >>>> for
> >>>> > some cash.
> >>>> > Be nice to your barman. They're your best link to the bar and the
> >person
> >>>> > most likely to stop you getting your head kicked by a bouncer when
> >>>> > paralytic in the future.
> >>>> >
> >>>> > Understand that favourite drinks come and go, but with a precious
> >>>> > flammable
> >>>> > few you should hold on.
> >>>> > Work hard to bridge the gaps in strength and consistency, because
> the
> >>>> > older
> >>>> > you get, the harder it will be to neck ales like when you were
> young.
> >>>> > Live in London once, but leave before it makes you a ponce.
> >>>> > Live in Liverpool once, but leave before everything you own gets
> >stolen.
> >>>> >
> >>>> > Dribble.
> >>>> > Accept certain inalienable truths:
> >>>> > Beer prices will rise. Bouncers will throw you out. You, too, will
> >>>> > get a hangover.
> >>>> > And when you do, you'll fantasise that when you were young, prices
> >>>> > were reasonable, bouncers couldn't catch you, and hangovers were
> NEVER
> >>>> as
> >>>> > bad as this.
> >>>> >
> >>>> > Respect alcoholics.
> >>>> > Don't expect anyone else to buy you a beer.
> >>>> > Maybe you'll have a huge overdraft. Maybe you'll have a wealthy
> bird.
> >>>> > But you never know when either one might stop getting you pissed.
> >>>> > Be careful whose cheap booze you buy, but be patient with those
who
> >>>> supply
> >>>> > it.
> >>>> > Cheap booze is a form of rip-off. Dispensing it is a way of
fishing
> >old
> >>>> > stock from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the sell-by
> date
> >>>> > and re-selling it for more than it's worth.
> >>>> >
> >>>> > But trust me on the alcohol.
>
>
> ______________________________________________________
> Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
> *********************************************************
> You are being sent this message because you
> are subscribed to the Sunscreem Mailing List.
> For help send the message text: help
> to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> *********************************************************
>
*********************************************************
You are being sent this message because you
are subscribed to the Sunscreem Mailing List.
For help send the message text: help
to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
*********************************************************
